There’s this dweeb named Mort Crim who’s a Paul Harvey wannabe. Harvey has a certain weird, not charm exactly…unannoyingness that makes him tolerable, this Crim wanker doesn’t.
He has these happy little two minute radio segments where he tells rambling, pointless stories that have the world’s most banal morals. I can’t think of a specific story, but some of his morals have been things like:
*Planning projects before doing them is good!
*It’s nice to be good to other people!
*People like people who like themselves, but not too much!
*If you don’t get your first choice, you should try for your second choice.
He’s like this horrible combination of “Life’s Little Instruction Book” and “Chicken Soup for the Soul” (but without any of the hard-hitting edgy nature in either book) as told by Grandpa Simpson and Ann Landers.
And he keeps talking about K-Mart as “Big K” (yes, I know this is K-Mart’s idea but he doesn’t even have the decency to sound embarrassed about it.)
And he’s got a book out called…
brace yourself…
Diabetics, beware…
“How To Be As Terrific as Your Dog Thinks You Are”
Please tell me I’m not the only one who can’t stand this talentless hack.
Fenris