Hey, you know I probably will implode on the boards as projected by my (slightly drunken) OP against the Bush administration for stealing our lives. So I might as well be up front about it.
I am a total idiot.
Yesterday was my birthday. This should be a happy time for me - I recently reunited with my daughter’s estranged father and we began a new life together raising our girl for the first time. We just moved into a big new place, and I FUCKED UP ROYALLY.
I was in charge of paying the rent. I was supposed to leave it where the landlady could get it one day - I decided to wait until I had put money in the bank so the check wouldn’t bounce. The result - I put it out too late. Landlady had already been and gone.
Phone call to landlady - no problem. Put it in the mail. I put that off for a day or two (couldn’t find the envelopes and stamps, kept forgetting), and by that time it was almost the weekend after the rent was due. I sneaked it in Friday afternoon. Now it’s Tuesday and the landlady is mad as hell with good reason. She still hasn’t seen the rent and wonders if I even mailed it at all. I have made it so my family is in danger of being evicted, just because I am a damn space cadet and didn’t want to risk a bouncy check, and everyone fucking hates me including myself. We are not one paycheck from the street, but we might as well be because of my stupid ass. I hate myself. :smack: :o :eek:
I think landlady is overreascting. When I was slightly late with the rent, the landlord would just add on a few dollars charge for lateness, not get mad as hell.
Don’t stress the rent so much. It’s a hassle, but we all put it off sometimes. I’m not sure about Oregon, but here in California, there is no way a landlord could evict you unless you were a whole lot later than that on the rent. They may hit you with a late fee, but thats the worst. Things will get better, don’t worry.
She added on a late charge plus got mad as hell. Yes, she is overreacting, but if I had just sucked it up and put the check on the table this would not be happening.
I think she is also pissed because the dude who moved out before we moved in damaged the place to the tune of like $4000. I think she is burned out with landladying.
Thanks for the reply Good Egg. I can always count on you. (why isn’t there a weeping smiley?!?!)
Don’t die just yet. You are right to beat yourself up over this, but it probably isn’t as bad as it seems. Landlady will likely forgive you when the check arrives and clears the bank. Finding a new tenant is much harder than just being mad at the current one. Confess your stupidity to her and promise to be better and then back it up by not paying late again, ever. If you are well-behaved tenants and you pay the rent regularly, she will in time forgive all.
As a refreshing (to the landlady) change of pace, try to pay a few days early next time.
Yes Rhubarb. We plan to pay about two weeks in advance from now on, if we can. I hope to god she doesn’t do the “30 day eviction without cause” thing, which people in Oregon have every right to do.
I know you are in Oregon, but in California, if you are there for a year or more, you get a 60 day notice. Check out some of the the guides on the internet.
Sorry about your troubles though. I wish you well.
Thanks Squee. I think the incident is even worse because my kid’s dad isn’t sure I even put the rent into the mail. He’s had a hard time trusting me because of past shit and this hasn’t helped any. Thanks everyone for your supportive messages. I wish this hadn’t happened.
The landlady will get over it once you show yourself to be a habitual rent-payer, I’m sure. And if she doesn’t… well, at least you’ll know what she’s like.
Our landlord tends to forget that it’s the first of the month, and we have to find him to get the check to him. (he lives next door) He always looks vaguely surprised, too.
Of course, he also tends to forget that the steps need to be fixed and the bathtub faucet leaks, but he’s still pretty cool.
IIRC, the California 60-day notice law is set to sunset (expire) on January 1, 2006, and the legislature has not extended it. Unless the legislature extends the law past January 1, it reverts back to 30 days notice regardless of the length of the tenancy. Check with your attorney or look it up for an exact reliable answer for your case.
You screwed up. It’s not the first time, it won’t be the last. And I’m sure your former ex has dropped the ball a time or two himself. Do you suppose your landlady would’ve preferred to have a bounced check? All you can do is apologize to her and try to do better. It’s not the end of the world, not even close. Now, if you’d blown the rent money shoe shopping, THAT would’ve been bad.
My question is the two quotes above. They seem, to me anyway, to be contradicting one another. If you have to hold the check in order to make it good to pay the rent, isn’t that one paycheck away from the street?
Since you are new renters with this landlady just make a real effort to be on time, if not early, with the rent from now on and you should be good. Like everyone else who has commented, rental laws vary by state by quite a lot. It’s been a couple years since I’ve rented but in Nevada they can start the eviction process 5 days after your rent is due and the Constable is out with a locksmith to lock you out of the property a full business day after it is filed with the court.
I think the key would be to keep communication open with the landlady so that she knows you’re following up. Having to go to court and/or having to move immediately and find a new place is no fun and VERY expensive so just keep checking with her and your bank.
Having said that, try not to beat yourself up so much, we all make dumb mistakes, and this time of the year is certainly busier for most of us. Plus, it sounds like you’ve had some big changes recently so I’m sure you’ve got a million things swirling in your head. Good luck and be sure to follow up and let us know that it worked out for you.
This happened to our neighbors recently, GGurl. My Sister and BIL bought the duplex from my Mom and our renters/neighbors are now their renters. Long story short, the almost exact same scenario happened with our neighbors and my Sister and BIL went ballistic. My neighbors didn’t wait quite as long as you did, in fact it was only a few days past due. Caused quite an uproar, and personally I think my BIL & Sis overreacted, what with the acrimony and acid, but they do have a deadline with the bank and are very busy themselves. My neighbor has since tried to make good by not letting it happen again and by apologizing and trying to speak to them diplomatically. I’d say just try to ingratiate yourself with your landlady, improve communications, apologize, and move on, definitely not the end of the world.
Also, maybe your SO could help you out a little and share the responsibility of sending out the payments or maybe be just be a bit more supportive instead of blaming you. You say that “everybody hates you now” and point out that he has trust issues and doesn’t believe you. You know shit happens, but you don’t have to eat any of the shit sandwiches that people will try to feed you. Give yourself a break if no one else will.
These things happen though. You forget to mail a check, or you break something expensive, or you get fired or something else unexpected happens. Its guaranteed to happen, things can always go wrong. What is important is how you deal with it and whether you learn to become a nicer person to yourself and others and plan ahead better next time. Getting mad at yourself won’t help any.
I’m glad you’re happy about reuniting your family, but I have to ask…if this man can make you hate yourself over a really minor infraction, what is going to happen when you run into some serious rough terrain in your relationship?
This oversight is no big deal in the Game of Life. I have a friend whose wife made out all the bills, tossed them in the garbage and went to her connection to buy coke with the money. They nearly lost their house, had their utilities shut off and almost lost the car. Now THAT’S a big deal. Put things in perspective, girl. If he’s reaming you a new one over this, he’s overreacting.
Thank you everybody. Right now it feels like the end of the world, but I appreciate the perspective and support.
I still have not heard from the landlady. She was supposed to email when the check arrived. My guts are in a wad. I keep thinking about all this valuable shit - if we had to move out in a hurry, where will it all go? I’ve been calling my newfound friends here in town to find a possible solution. But I tend to go to the worst possible conclusion with everything.
Kalhoun, good point. I’m thinking on it. I’m numb right now. No clue where to turn.
Any Dopers from Eugene with an empty garage for storage? We’ll pay if the worst case scenario happens.
:o :eek: