I hate Old People, so Fucko Off!

So I’m sitting here, unshaven and unshowered, with my ancient mother-in-law and other ancillary family waiting for the “Big Christmas Eve Feast” to cook. Why am I basicly put “dirty”? Because MIL says three days ago, “I can drive okay in the daytime, so we’ll be there about 5 o’clock”.

To which I reply (three days ago): So, since it gets dark around here around at 4, you’ll not mind driving in the dark?" Wooooosh!!

Flash to today (actually, you don’t need to, it is today): MIL calls to tell us she will be early. Now, lets backtrack a bit. If my MIL tells me she will be here at 5, that means she will be there at about 6, maybe 6:30. I plan accordingly.

She rolls in at 3:30! But that ain’t what I’m here to say. Here is what will cause me to commit a felony if I hear it one more time:

“I’m moving and need to get there a few days early to get my e-mail set up…”
“That was such a nice party you gave your brother for his birthday…” (she wasn’t there)
“Traffic was so bad in (picture any town you know of with one stop light and about 27 people) that we couldn’t stop!”

etc, etc. more to come, wife is getting suspicous what I’m typing…

So . . . um . . . what exactly is your complaint?

And watch it, from your perspective I may qualify as an “Old Person.”

Saying you hate old people is like saying that you (God willing) will hate yourself in several decades.

Now, that just don’t make much sense, son. :wink:

I see that the Cuban Catfish[sup]TM[/sup] is filled with the spirit of love and good will this season is supposed to bring. :slight_smile:

So you stop bathing when MIL calls to say she’ll be there in 3 days?

Nice. Bet you smell just like FIL (RIP).

While yer’ sitting around waiting for the food to cook, get into the fucking shower and clean yer’self up. You stink baaaaad.

Oh, and have a shave too. Yer’ face looks as bad as ya smell.


Just keep in mind that old age is Mother Nature’s way of rewarding us for not dying young.

But life doesn’t have to make sense. For instance, looking back at my teen years, I hate that snotnosed punk kid.

You can look back and hate your behavior then, or look back and hate your behavior a year ago (or 2 days ago). But you don’t hate all kids, now do you, just because you hate yourself at that age? And do you hate the way you’re going to behave 20, 30, 40 years from now, when you’re an old person?

I was replying to your assertion that it doesn’t make sense to hate yourself of a different age. Regarding your last sentence here, there are plenty of people that fear “becoming” their parents. I am not one of them.

And I do hate all snot-nosed punks, yes. (Looks better hyphenated.)

That’s OK dear, we hate you too. And we get more laws passed.

That’s the reward?! Heaven forfend, what might the punishment be?

Neither am I, because my parents are (were) pretty cool. But dreading “becoming” their parents (which may or may not happen since they can’t predict what they’ll be like in the future) isn’t the same as hating all old people, is it?

Yes, it does look better hyphenated. However, snot-nosed punks are not all young people though, right? :wink:

And I should add, dreading isn’t the same as hating something that you may never be in the future. (Just being completist about this whole thing, you understand . . . ) :wink:

Its true, its true! All of it is true!

(and by the way, I’m “an old person” now too, but Jesus Christ, I’m not THAT FUCKING LAME YET!)

Holy Christ! tomndeb is a mod! When did that happen? I’m ban-bait fer sure now, with that voice of reason pulling strings in the mist…
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, AND TO ALL A GOOD ORAL SEX EXPERIANCE! Betcha never heard Tiny Tim say that! :smiley:

How much eggnog have you been drinking?

Dying young, Brainiac. Do I have to spell everything out for you?

I don’t wanna die! I wanna live! That’s the whole secret of life: not dying.
-George Carlin

Kinda looks like your well on your way though.

Am I the only one who heard (with my 62-year-OLD ears) the “WHOOSH” as the phrase “Fucko Off” in the title went sailing by? Anybody remember the late and not lamented Uekte? (If I spelled it wrong, fucko him . . . he’s not here anyway!) He came and went like an unpleasant mayfly a couple of years ago after ranting repeatedly that everybody over a certain age was worthless and should die.

Thinking of your MIL and oral sex at the same time? :eek: