I’m currently at a leadership program (something else to stick on my college resume) and stuck living with three girls in apartment-style housing. The first one is wonderful. She’s courteous, and nice, and a fun person. To the other two, however, I have two simple requests:
FOR THE LOVE OF OG, KNOCK BEFORE JUST BARGING INTO MY ROOM! I am not here to take care of your every need. However, I may be a little more inclined to help if you might actually ask before entering the room. Hell, I can’t even get changed without having to lock my door. At which point I am declared “anti-social.” This is how the process works: If my door is closed, you knock. You wait for a “come in” before entering. Skipping one or both steps is not polite, and liable to make my stay at this program (which I already hate) even more hated.
WHEN IT IS CLEAR THAT I AM SLEEPING, ESPECIALLY AFTER YOU KNOW I’VE BARELY GOTTEN ANY SLEEP IN DAYS, PLEASE MOVE THE YELLING BOYS AT LEAST AWAY FROM MY DOOR. I don’t even ask that you go hang out at their apartment instead. I simply don’t want them screaming outside my door, waking me up every five minutes. My white noise maker isn’t able to drown them out.
This program is miserable. I hate the classes, I hate the reading, I hate the speakers, I hate the lack of freedom to so much as walk back to our apartment without a chaperone, I hate the lack of privacy, and I hate 2/3 of my roomates. I’m to the point now where I’m miserable enough that I’m actually considering leaving, if only for the sake of preventing myself from crying myself to sleep every night. To make matters worse, my old migraine preventative medicine was giving bad side effects, and my doctor refuses to start me on another preventative while I’m away, so I keep getting migraines (made worse by lack of sleep and stress), and my medicine to stop them has ceased to work. The only medicine I have left that can at least stop the pain is Percocet, but the dosage I have to take to get any kind of relief makes me so dizzy I seriously doubt I could walk straight if I tried.
I know I’m getting depressed while here; I can recognize the symptoms. I hate it.
You’re in a temporary situation, right? Do you have to deal with the 2/3 roommates after this is done? Don’t worry about their opinion, if you need privacy take it.
Don’t let the depression get you. Do something to get your mind in a better frame- treat yourself to something you like, and don’t share (good ice cream is a possibility.)
You feel like the situation is out of your control, right? Get some control back- play a nasty practical joke on the inconsiderate ones to stop them from barging into your room, like a fake “body” in the closet or a huge (fake) spider on your bed. (Of course, you’d get more mileage out of a real body… but that’s taking it a little too far.)
I can’t even do that…We’re not allowed to go anywhere on grounds without a chaperone, and the only way to go off grounds (without supervision) involves either a walk (which has to be with the “buddy system”) or a drive to get anywhere good (and I didn’t bring my car). Besides, I’ve totally lost my appetite.
To make matters worse, I’m getting another migraine now, and all I want to do is curl up into a little ball and die. I think I’m going to have to go home, if for no other reason than to get myself on some meds that work without making me feel even worse than the migraines do.
I just called my mother… the other stuff is bad enough, but there’s no way in Hell I can put up with this migraines for 2 weeks without meds that work, especially battling depression (also without meds) at the same time and getting no sleep. I hate to just give up, but I think I’m going to have to, since my doctor won’t prescribe me anything else long distance. I’m going home.
What sort of place is this where you can’t even walk around by yourself? Why the fuck do you need a chaperone or a “buddy” just to take a stroll? Is the area dangerous, or do they not trust you to be alone?
And how much longer do you have to put up with this?
I don’t know what sort of cherry this program is supposed to be for your transcript/resume, but it’s not worth the cost to your health that I’m seeing here. If the program is only going to be a week or two more, I could see sticking it out, but if it’s more than 10 days, chalk it up to experience, and get OUT. There is no reason to risk your health, especially your mental health, for this nonsense.
