I swear to all things unholy, if I have to work another fucking day with you I’m going to one up Van Gogh and chop BOTH my ears off, so I don’t have to listen to your idiotic, brain-numbing “I did a search on Limewire for Stupid Crap No-one Else Listens to and then put it on my iPod” music ever again. We do not work in a 70s disco-dance club! I walk by you twenty-fucking-times a day and turn your music down, and you KEEP TURNING IT BACK UP. I asked the baldass manager to talk to you about this issue, and instead your 26 year-old, I want to be 17 again fucktard self brought a GOD DAMNED SUBWOOFER AND BIGGER SPEAKERS. Then when your couldn’t-be-on-time-to-save your spikey-haired ass came back from your HOUR AND A HALF LONG LUNCH BREAK (we get half an hour for lunch only!!) I was out on the custom counter WORKING and you came back and TURNED OFF MY CD, RIGHT AFTER I MANAGED TO GET MY BLOOD PRESSURE DOWN, TURNED ON YOUR FORKING iPOD, AND TURNED IT UP ABOUT TEN TIMES LOUDER THAN IT WAS WHEN YOU LEFT.
THEN when I asked you why you turned off my CD, you said “Oh… I thought you were at lunch! You turned my iPod off while I was at lunch. Don’t take everything so personally!” ARE YOU THAT FUCKING CLUELESS, YOU PUNY-ASSED, ALREADY BALDING, 18-YEAR OLD DATING, ALWAYS LEAVING EARLY PATHETIC LOSER? YOU SAW ME WORKING WHEN YOU WALKED BACK IN FROM YOUR LEISURELY BREAK. AND JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE BACK DOESN’T MEAN WE HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR* MUSIC!!!
YOUR MUSIC GIVES ME A HEADACHE! I CANNOT CONCENTRATE! I CAN GET NOTHING DONE! And it’s a god-damned-forkity-forking problem when I CAN’T WORK because you are so FUCKING SLOW doing anything you might as well NOT BE HERE. AND I WISH YOU WEREN’T!!
AND QUIT TAKING PERSONAL CALLS FROM EVERYONE YOU KNOW ON YOUR CELL PHONE WHILE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING. I DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR INANE PHONE CONVERSATIONS WHILE YOU TRY TO TALK OVER THE MUSIC I ALREADY TURNED DOWN AND YOU TURNED BACK UP.
I had to leave work early TODAY because I got so worked up I thought I would vomit, and YOU give me this look like “Where do you think you’re going?” GO TO FUCKING HELL, YOU OBLIVIOUS TURD!!!