I’m just worried that you’ve already made it through the eight 12-packs of Mountain Dew. Dude, that so can’t be healthy.
Get 1.5 more lbs of chocolate.
You can seduce any number of women with 50 pounds of chocolate. I imagine Tuba and Lynn would be on their knees:D
What you should do is measuer, say, fifty or a hundred of them. Use that figure, divide fifty by that, then multiply what you get by whatever count of M&M’s you started with.
I learned that one from Nickelodeon!
And I have to agree with iampunha. It really can work. Now that’s two reasons to go to Sam’s Club this week!
Send me a couple of bags. I will, in turn, love you.
PLEASE!
and it just takes a small investment.
You’ve got your 50 pounds of M&Ms (within an acceptable margin of error). You’ve probably got a caulk gun in the garage. You want to impress all the babes. You can handle all of these with one fell swoop.
First thing you need to do is make some M&M “bricks”. Smash 'em up, squeeze 'em together, and deep fry* 'em until they’re completely rigid. Maybe about 3 inches long, 2 inches wide, 1 inch high. Let drain overnight.
Take about six gallons of caulk, and form the M&M bricks into a chair. Decorate the caulk with loose M&Ms. Let dry.
Take to beach and impress all babes.
[sub]*If deep frying does not work, substitute some other procedure to make rock-solid M&M bricks. Try looking up my college roommate and asking him to eat all of them at once without benefit of his fiber supplement.[/sub]
25 pounds left.
Today, I brought a box to work. The department I work at now has cups, pitchers, bowls, boxes, jars and dishes filled with happy Easter-colored M&Ms.
There’s nothing like the look of disbelief on a chocolate-lover’s face when they’re confronted with 25 pounds of M&Ms. It’s pretty gratifying.
I stopped by one of the labs, and had them interrupt some critical medical research to weigh out some Ms. Then, we did some quick calculations. As it turned out, 50 pounds of M&Ms is approximately 26,500 Ms.
Which means I only have 13,250 left.
Keep the remainder in cold storage until school starts up again for your nearest elementary school. Learn precisely when recesses begin. What you need to do is sneak it onto the playground a few minutes before recess hits, then make a clean getaway.
The M&M problem will take care of itself. Many many dinners will be ruined, and children will feel rather ill afterwards, but they’ll have a memory they’ll treasure forever.
You can use them to gain 48.5 pounds in a hurry, or you can melt them all down, and make the world’s largest chocolate bunny, which then will be struck by lightning during a freak storm, and run off to rampage through Tokyo, then use the huge bags as parachutes to paradrop onto it’s head, and eat it’s chocolatey brain out.
I need sleep.