I’ve found myself distracted by a woman’s appearance before. The distraction never leads to any specific line of thought - I just find myself forced to notice her. The distraction is always momentary, but it can happen repeatedly withing a single encounter - after my attention is drawn more than two or three times in the same encounter I actively focus my attention away from whatever about her is distracting me - I’m there for something else, after all.
I find myself similarly distracted by this one shirt one of my coworkers wears. It’s not revealing, but damn if it doesn’t look like it’s inside out. The seams and edges are darker than the main fabric and everything. At a cognitive level I’m sure it’s actually meant to look like that, but damn is it distracting.
OP, I’ll meet you halfway.
It’s true that most of us, if we’re being honest, notice attractive people of our preferred gender(s).
And it’s also perfectly normal to have sexual thoughts with some frequency.
But, to become distracted to the point of not being able to focus on anything else is not normal. Using the objectifying, degrading, and frankly sleazy language you used in your post is just not cool. And suggesting that it’s the ladies’ fault your’re a hopeless horndog makes you sound like a rapist on trial.
So I’ll add my voice to the chorus suggesting that you grow the fuck up.
I had a decorator that used to work with me, she looked like Lonnie Anderson but was prettier and much more developed in all areas. Cars would rear end each other looking at her. She dressed extremely sexy and had an extreme body to go with it. Was she dangerous?? The platinum blond hair was good for catching men’s eyes.
I just don’t see how that is blaming women even if he could have worded it more diplomatically. He’s not ascribing any motives to their clothing choices.
Alright. Whatever you call it, and this is an incredibly small thing we’re arguing about, posting on a public message board can actually affect others.
I was at At Home (a home decoration store) this afternoon and I saw a very attractive woman wearing shorts that showed a lot of leg and accentuated her posterior. I glanced at her a little longer than I might have otherwise glanced at a less attractive woman but I had no problem going about my business with no distractions.
First of all, let me apologize for the delay. I did not receive the post reports until today, and even then I did not have time to respond to them at that time (Friday is always busy for me at work).
Second, while the OP certainly has some issues, I think overall everyone has done very well with this thread. I think the best thing to do under the circumstances is just to let the thread continue. Hopefully nate will take the time to carefully read all of the responses, both to understand why his response is not the same as 98% of males out there, and also to understand why many in this thread are finding his post to be so offensive.
We really do not want to encourage posts along the lines of “women make me want to have sex”, and we definitely do not want to encourage men’s locker room types of posts where men just talk about who they want to have sex with and why. But if we can have more discussions like this one where people actually explain the issues and try to give some enlightenment and understanding to those who are clearly lacking in it, I think that’s actually a good thing.
I will try to monitor this thread as best as I can going forward, and again, apologies for not being able to get to it sooner.
Many people like to wear sexy clothing and appreciate being noticed, but- think about it for a second- if you are causing auto accidents, spilling coffee, or blanking out during lectures then the true issue really isn’t with revealing clothing or how stupefyingly beauteous you happen to think someone is.
