I do this, too. Combination of impatience and ADD.
It’s really rude, and I’m ashamed when I realize I’m doing it.
I’m trying really hard to keep it silent (like so many of my comments).
This is a valuable post. Thank you.
I used to do that with Mrs P who is an incessant interrupter. But I found that I was starting to feel bad about never being able to get my point across so now I don’t put up with it.
As to the OP, what works for me is to go to my happy place. Zone out. Think about something else. While maintaining a listening face, of course
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THIS. I can improve my listening patience with practice, and try to speak more succinctly myself, but when a particular someone often interrupts my sentences to complete a thought that was NOT where I was headed, guess which answer gets remembered? Interrupting a tale to tell me I’m wrong is rude, but interrupting to MAKE me be wrong is infuriating.
I have a family member who is a frequent interrupter. My strategy is to keep on talking right through the interruption. Often, when the next moment of silence occurs, I will say, “Oh, sorry, it seems we were both talking at the same time.”
mmm
Like mmm, with some people I have done this too. It is my nature, if talking, when someone wants to cut in and they start talking, that I yield to them. I stop talking and let them continue. My thinking was this is the polite thing to do.
But I’ve found that this starts inviting people to cut in on me and they do it more frequently. So I’m starting to not yield the floor, and like mmm will say, “Oh we were talking at the same time. What did you say?”
After being interrupted without cause or ceremony I used to retreat and yield the floor to the blowhard.
Blow hard interrupts with Blah blah blah.
Awkward pause
Yeah, As I was saying before I was interrupted, then I resume my thoughts on this that and the other.
Another thing drives me nuts. Elders who will interrupt a conversation about say student loans just to say back in my day I didn’t take student loans I worked my way through school. Or I was able to save for house just by putting aside $25 a week.
Irrelevant today boomer! Listen with empathy.
I have the exact same problem and I’ve been losing people left and right, even customer service agents, because I always interrupt them. I excuse myself by saying: I start slowly and politely, I present the issue and I cover all aspects clearly and concisely, then they respond with something I’ve already ruled out one way or another. I’ll give you an example.
I don’t know where you stand on the Ukraine-Russia issue, but I am vehemently pro-Ukraine and I’ve been arguing with people every day over the Russian propaganda they carry into my lap. I live alone and I spend my days watching the news to a granular level, listening to podcasts, reading history, et cetera. So a friend of mine comes over a couple of nights ago and we’re looking at the news and he suddenly comes up with ‘Zelenskyy played everyone’, - a statement that, as far as I am concerned, sums up a very familiar and oft-encountered mountain of misconception and consistent consumption of pro-Kremlin propaganda. I live in the Middle East and we know very well the common Russian stories in their Syrian Arabic version - same stuff over and over. Same stuff when Putin bombed Aleppo into oblivion and when he obliterated Grozny. Same justifications and tactics. And so when my friend starts saying this, I can’t help but interrupt him from the get go, over and over, to tell him that the bombing of Ukrainian residential buildings every morning is certainly not the result of anything but Russian decision-making.
Regardless, I understand fully how arrogant, condescending and even ignorant it is to have this attitude. I just can’t help it, and when the blood heats up in my veins and my head goes, I can only hear myself lecturing people.
My husband interrupts people and it drives me nuts. But it’s because of how his brain works. He’s a very intelligent person but a little scattered - not ADHD, but if he says something and a few seconds later thinks of something else to say, he will steamroll right over whoever is talking to finish his thought. It’s like his brain doesn’t process that it’s not his turn to speak. He’s also got a very forceful personality, so when he gets passionate about a subject he has to talk about it. Sometimes when I bring up a subject, I feel like I’m not actually having a conversation with him, but just listening to him rant. We are often agreed on the topic, but it’s like he’s gotta get on his soapbox and lecture me anyway.
And this could be my ADHD, but I often lose interest in the topic way before he does. The dude really knows how to belabor a point.
Whenever I tell him not to interrupt me, he apologizes, but I don’t know if he realizes he does this to everyone. And just the act of saying, “hey, you’re interrupting me” makes me lose my train of thought.
ETA: In general I think he is a great conversation partner, it’s just in these instances I am annoyed. Sometimes we talk for hours and it’s wonderful.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting……
MOO!
Doctors are often under time pressures and some patients are not good at getting to the point. This comes up quite a lot, actually.
They learn it is often important not to interrupt the patient for the first couple minutes, sometimes more, since what is said and the way information is imparted are very valuable. When overly verbose or little more information is to be had, summarizing what was said using similar words is effective before asking additional questions about other important things not said, or more details about main things that were shared.
That doesn’t apply to your father, nor chatterboxes talking your ear off. People interrupt for different reasons.
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Annoyance. “No, I do not require (subject of cold call). Thanks for calling”. Click.
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Focus. Speaker might go off on tangents, falsely assume you know unsaid background information, be repetitive.
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Ego. Desire to speak, show off one’s smarts or enthusiasm, disinterest in subject, attract attention
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Pressure. Sometimes important information does need to be known immediately. In the ER.
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Hierarchy. No talking in class. This is a comedy show, not a dialogue. I’m running this meeting.
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Error. Person paused, you thought they were finally done.
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Smarts. Sometimes you really do have to make the better argument, great joke or important point at a meeting or in conversation
I like the distinction between active listening, passive listening, and pretending to listen when there are no better alternatives.
I was raised in New York but now I live in the Upper Midwest, so I daily face the same personal challenge you do.
Where I’m from, if you DON’T interrupt someone (with brief interjections, not to take over the conversation entirely), it’s rude — it means you’re half-asleep and not paying attention.
Where I live now, it’s rude TO interrupt someone. Not an easy adjustment for me.