I have a new sister!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I received an email notification of pending messages in my ancestry.com mailbox.
The first message was from someone who I am biologically related to somehow - something like second cousin once removed. She was trying to figure out how we’re related. I responded with “Beats me - I’m adopted”.
Second message was from a woman who, after doing the DNA testing, was reported to be my first cousin. She sent the message months ago, asking if I knew anything about my biological family, as she was adopted. I replied that I, too, was adopted, so no idea.

Went back to my DNA matches and was very surprised to find a new match. My biological father. Dug around on facebook for a bit, found a guy with the same name and (per my daughter) a familial resemblance.

The woman messaged me again, thanking me for my response, noting in the ensuing months since she sent the initial message, she discovered who her biological parents are, met her mother, etc. I replied that that was wonderful, and that ancestry stated this guy was my biological father.

She immediately responded - we’re not cousins, please call me!

So yeah, I have a biological half sister. She’s 8 months older than me. Turns out what I had been told about my biological father was completely wrong. He was not a music professor at the university, he had nothing to do with music. He impregnated her mother, then took a powder, stopping here in Minnesota to knock up my biological mother. She’s tried reaching out to him, with no response.

We have a LOT in common - foul mouthed, inked, musically inclined, same taste in comedy, and we both believe having a lemon tart counts as a serving of fruit. She is much more extroverted than I am.

It’s been a lot to process in the past…15 hours. I could not sleep last night. I told my (adoptive) mom this morning. Her first comment was to remind me to move slowly. I am planning on it - I don’t know her. But to have someone (other than my daughter) blood related is trippy. I’ve thought about it for decades. When I started college, a few people came up to me and started chatting, as if I knew who they were. They stated I was the spitting image of a girl that attended their school. That started me thinking I had siblings, but I pushed it out of my mind.

And now, suddenly, I do.

2

So cool! Very happy for you :slight_smile: It’s great that we live in an age where adopted people can find their relatives.

3

Cool! Congratulations, that is very exciting!

And another reminder that it takes a lot more than sperm to make a father. Sounds like he was setting up franchises. I’m thinking you’re probably better off not knowing who this guy is.

4

This is so exciting! How wonderful! I hope you and your sister have a long, happy relationship.

5

I have 5 sisters. Sisters can be a bitch. But they also get you when no one does. Good luck there kiddo!!

6

My mother, age 85 or so, was adopted shortly after birth. My sister has been doing the ancestry thing to sleuth for her bio parents. She finally figured out who they are, and found a half-sister of my mother. She sent an email to that half-sister, telling her about. The half-sister was not surprised to have a half-sibling, as her dad had numerous affairs in his first marriage to my mother’s mother and in a second marriage to her mother. Furthermore, he was an angry, abusive alcoholic. My mother figures she got a good deal by getting adopted.

It was interesting all of the sleuthing that my sister, and some other siblings of mine, did. Lots of information out there.

7

Wow! That’s a lot to take in!

I hope you get all of the good stuff and none of the bad stuff that such surprises can bring.

8

Woah, how exciting for you! I’m glad you like her :slight_smile:

One of my friends recently found her bio-sister. Even though they didn’t end up being absolute best friends, they immediately bonded as sisters and spend quality time together.

9

I’m still processing this all. We’ve been sharing pictures and have some resemblance. When we were little we looked quite similar.
We talked about medical histories, I noted I have PKD.
She asked if she could test to be a donor. I said no. Unequivocally No.
Today she was on the phone with the transplant center, arranging testing where she resides.
She listens just about as well as I do.

I’ve had some long talks with my Family family. As I said to my adoptive older sister, a sister is one who drags her little sister to Woolworth’s to be a living make up tester, or totally RUINS her teenage years because of babysitting the runt. My mom has opened up more about the whole process she and dad went through to get me. She’s hurt that the info the bio-mother gave is seemingly wrong and is pushing me to get my records opened. She’s been telling me stories I’ve never heard before, and it’s been wonderful. My nephew, dear man that he is, said “Oh hell, there’s ANOTHER one of her?”

She’s become close to her biological mothers’ family, which is so wonderful. I don’t know if I want to find mine, truthfully. All my life it’s been a push/pull. One day yes, the next no. I know she is hurt that our biological father won’t respond to either one of us, but I’m completely fine with it. I guess working in child support AND having an ex who walked out on his child makes me a little more passive about a father’s place in the life of a child.