Well, I did a few hours ago, anyway.
Warning…TMI…Warning
Last night, around 8:00pm, I had some pasta with the titular sauce. It was yummy.
Fast forward to 1:00am this morning. I am sleeping. Or so I think…I wake with a start as I detect my nose running. I know what this means…
I run for the bathroom sink just as a stream of icky goo issues forth. When it stops, I blow my nose, and make the mistake of looking at it. Yep. Four-cheese sauce. With sun-dried tomatoes.
Now, the burning starts. Forget the all-powerful Sarlaac; this is a new definition of pain and suffering! Then comes the coughing…
I have defective internal plumbing, it seems. Invariably, if I eat something past some randomly determined time, then go to bed, within half an hour after I fall sleep this scenario will be repeated. The digestive fluids start to back up, travelling up my esophagus. When these fluids reach the first junction, some of them decide to detour, and head straight into my lungs. Thus, the painful, burning coughing. And yes, when I coughed up the gunk from my lungs, the four-cheese sauce (with sun-dried tomatoes) was readily identifiable.
The rest of the fluids continue upward, straight into my nasal passages. Where they burn. A lot.
So, after about an hour of coughing up junk from my lungs and blowing my nose to clear my nasal passages, I finally am able to breathe somewhat again. So, I go back to bed.
Half an hour later, it happens again.
I feel lousy. If I felt like crap, it would be an improvement. I can barely breathe because my lungs are full of this nastiness. I could drown in my own digestive juices - isn’t that a lovely thought?
However, I know that during the day, I will steadily cough up more junk, and will gradually be able to breathe better. But right now, it sucks. And I have a headache, both from coughing and lack of sleep.
Blech.
Anyone know of a good antacid?