Just for fun, and because I wasn’t really feeling capable of doing too much else, I decided to count how many times I sneezed today. Now, I grant that I may have been too busy cursing God to get every single one, but the round ballpark figure of
THREE HUNDRED FUCKING SNEEZES
certainly seems reasonable.
See, I have hay fever, a condition which is generally dismissed, by the majority of sufferers and non-sufferes alike, as a minor irritation. A slight nuisance, but nothing worth spoiling a good time for. For me, however, the minor irritation is a serious burden. It has caused me to miss two days of work, and has turned me into a sneezing, leaking, spluttering, coughing, itching, wheezing, tetchy ball of hate. I can’t breath through my nose yet I can’t stop sneezing. My eyes are so raw from the rubbing that it looks like I’m wearing makeup. My asthma has flared up so badly that I’m using my inhalers 8-10 times a day, whereas before I hardly used them at all, even after exercise.
I’m miserable, and self-pitying, and pissed off. The strongest medications have no effect. I’ve just spent the entire day propped up on fluffy pillows, surrounded by a mountain of screwed up tissues, despairing for myself. I swear, I wasn’t this downcast when I broke my fucking leg. I hate every single healthy person in the world (except you, of couse, you’re just awesome).
Pollen allergies suck monkey cock. Big, red-arsed, I’m-gonna-bite-your-face-off-if-you-look-at-me-funny-while-sucking-my-monkey-cock, monkey cock.