I have hayfever, and it sucks monkey cock (Lame. Self-pitying. No actual monkeys).

The BBQ Pit
1

Just for fun, and because I wasn’t really feeling capable of doing too much else, I decided to count how many times I sneezed today. Now, I grant that I may have been too busy cursing God to get every single one, but the round ballpark figure of

THREE HUNDRED FUCKING SNEEZES

certainly seems reasonable.

See, I have hay fever, a condition which is generally dismissed, by the majority of sufferers and non-sufferes alike, as a minor irritation. A slight nuisance, but nothing worth spoiling a good time for. For me, however, the minor irritation is a serious burden. It has caused me to miss two days of work, and has turned me into a sneezing, leaking, spluttering, coughing, itching, wheezing, tetchy ball of hate. I can’t breath through my nose yet I can’t stop sneezing. My eyes are so raw from the rubbing that it looks like I’m wearing makeup. My asthma has flared up so badly that I’m using my inhalers 8-10 times a day, whereas before I hardly used them at all, even after exercise.

I’m miserable, and self-pitying, and pissed off. The strongest medications have no effect. I’ve just spent the entire day propped up on fluffy pillows, surrounded by a mountain of screwed up tissues, despairing for myself. I swear, I wasn’t this downcast when I broke my fucking leg. I hate every single healthy person in the world (except you, of couse, you’re just awesome).

Pollen allergies suck monkey cock. Big, red-arsed, I’m-gonna-bite-your-face-off-if-you-look-at-me-funny-while-sucking-my-monkey-cock, monkey cock. :frowning:

2

Sounds like you’d better check with your doc about your asthma, because your maintenance meds must need a little tweaking, if you need your rescue inhaler 8 times a day.

Ask your doc what’s good for you in the allergy department, too. A lot of the leukotriene inhibitors (accolate, singulair) help both asthma and allergies. Not to mention other nice allergy meds like nasal steroids, neti pots, and the less-sedating antihistamines like claritin and zyrtec and others. Also allergy shots.

Unless you just wanted to kvetch? In which case, carry on!

QtM, who only sneezed about 50 times today and that’s because I slacked off on my nasal steroids.

3

That sucks. My heart goes out to you. I had hay fever every bit as bad as your from about age 7 - 30. I don’t know if I just grew out of it (not completely, so you don’t have to hate me) or they abated because I moved. Not only did I sneeze about 15 time in a row all day long, each of those sneezes is the whole body repelling those foreign invaders. It’s truly exhausting. The only relief I could get some days was a cool air conditioned room. Just be grateful that you don’t also get sinus headaches from it that then turn into migraines. One thing that helped me a lot back when I had them bad was Chlortrimeton. (sp?) But I don’t know if it’s around any more. At one point I do recall they had made it over-the-counter. In the meantime I suggest ice cold water on the face and a few boxes of tissues with the lotion in them. When the allergies act up and for three weeks in the fall and spring I make sure to have plenty of them on hand. Otherwise my nose gets rubbed raw. Those tissues really work well.

Good luck.

4

The only things keeping me from being a 100% wreck this past month were the two so-called 24-hr. pills – one each of Zyrtec and Alavert, with the occasional generic diphenhydramine HCL tossed in for old times – I take in any given 24-hr. period.

Yes, technically that’s overmedicating, but given my misery even with the double coverage, I really don’t give a shit.

5

My hay fever isn’t as bad as yours, but it’s bad enough. It doesn’t help that I’m apparently somewhat drug resistant - Clor-Trimeton used to work for me but doesn’t do much anymore, Claritin only ever affected my wallet, Sudafed never did much to begin with. I’m stuck with Benadryl, which is only moderately effective but better than nothing.

6

Hugs for the OP, even with all the uckiness. I ain’t 'fraid of no phlegm!

I have horrifying allergies that are better in recent years than in past, but still render me absolutely fucking miserable from time to time. Nothing works. I just itch and leak and cry until it passes. The rubbing. I hate the rubbing. Nose, lips, eyes… they turn red and bloodshot and chapped and hurt like Hell.

All Benadryl does is make me sleepy, which is only good when I actually need to get some rest. I can’t take it and go to work, it puts me into an antihistamine coma. :frowning:

7

I had mono once…it sucked yak cock. I feel your pain.

8

Hay fever is a reaction to sucking plant spooge into your nose. :smiley:

9

Yeah, I have terrible hayfever. I get conjunctivitis every summer from rubbing my eyes so much. Even worse, drugs that seem to work one summer fail to work the next.

The weird thing is, I never had it as a kid, even though I was outside almost constantly, summer and winter. It just appeared when I was about fourteen, now I can’t get rid of it.

10

I feel for ya man. Mine’s acting up this year worse than it ever has before. I’ve never really had too much trouble with it before, unless I was literally standing in the middle of a hay field, which ironically was the only thing that I was really allergic to. But this year it’s really kicking my ass. I can’t hardly breath most of the day, blowing my nose constantly, eyes constantly itching, and I still don’t think I’ve got it 1/10th as bad as you. Yeah, it sucks monkey cock. I hope you get to feeling better.

MT

11

It seems like a bad year for it. Mine always gets me in the chest and I have a nice little cough.

12

That sucks man. This year has been hell on me for allergies as well. I usually just deal with it every spring as it’s not too bad. This year has been terrible.

About 3wks ago I spent all day mopping snot as it dripped out of my nose. Sneezing and sniffling - it just sucked.

Luckily for me, I found that Claritin once a day takes care of it. I can’t image having to deal with that for very long. Hope you get over it.

Fucking monkey cock!

13

Yeah, I have it too. I stay indoors as much as possible this time of year. Mine doesn’t sound anywhere near as bad as yours though.

Thankfully Beconase hayfever spray (nasal spray, twice a day) seems to get rid of most of it. My eyes still get pretty sore though, makes it really hard to wear contacts.

14

Thanks guys. I had a weird experience today. I was all pissed off with the sneezing and feeling miserable so I went down to my doctors and said “Doc, the over the counter stuff just ain’t working. I want the good shit you guys keep for yourselves.” Anyway, he sent me round to the nurse and they gave me this injection of something (I think it was called methylprednisone or something like that. Began with an ‘M’, anyway). Anyway, the nurse stuck this needle in my butt and, apparently, the methylwhatever should take care of 80-90% of my hay fever symptoms for the rest of the summer!

I never thought it would be that easy. Word of warning though, that methyl stuff sure does numb the fuck out of your leg. I’m limping about like House at the moment. But at least my nose feels clearer :slight_smile:

15

Yeah - I think it was methylprednisolone (brand name Medrol, at least when given orally).

Sorry you had to get it in the sittin’ spot, but life will be MUCH better in a day or so.

I used to have very similar problems with allergies. Sneezing constantly, utterly miserable, eating antihistamines like they were candy (this was before the non-sedating ones too; I built up a tolerance so they didn’t zone me out). Years of allergy shots actually did help me. But I remember one conversation, back in the mid 80s, at a company picnic:

someone: Did you hear there’s antidepressant they’re testing, that has this weird side effect? If you yawn, or sometimes if you sneeze, you have an ORGASM.
Colleague who sat right next to my cubicle: (looks at me) MY GOD - SHE’D BE THE HAPPIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!

16

You guys get House in the UK?

(Sorry for your symptoms. My husband has bad allergies and is currently miserable despite taking Claritin and Nasacort daily.)

17

I re-iterate:

Hay fever is annoying.

Asthma can kill.

18

Oh yeah, I did mean to mention this. I also got two new inhalers. The doc told me to make an appointment for the same time next week for more serious treatment if the new inhalers hadn’t had any effect. He seemed confident that they’d suit me better and that, coupled with reduced hayfever symptoms, I would see considerable improvements with my asthma in the next couple of days.

P.S. - We do get House. Actually, we’ve had it for a few years but I’ve only just got into it. Great show. I’ve pretty much resigned my bank holiday weekend to catching on with the early episodes. You Idiots! :slight_smile:

19

Was your mucus reminiscent of thick, rich, yellowish, pungent yak jizz?

:dubious: Wait, don’t answer that.