I have invented a new coffee!

So I’m doing my usual morning routine this morning, which involves stopping in to my local cafe for a coffee, wherein they have pour-it-yourself urns of various coffee types and flavours. I gave up coffee for the most part because I can only take it with a good amount of cream, but I found a coffee – French Caramel – which has enough smoothness and sweetness that I need less than half what I normally require, thus agreeing more readily with my self-imposed diet.

So I grabbed a cup and went to the French Caramel urn. It has a little windowed tube in front so you can see how much coffee is left in that particular urn. This was was low. But like a gas gauge you never really know how low, so I chanced it and pressed the lever to pour. It ran out at half a cup.

Bugger, I thought. What am I going to do with half a cup of French Caramel coffee? I could mix it. Yes, that would make sense. But with what? Columbian? Dark roast? No, that would just make it taste like watered-down French Caramel. Irish Cream? Nope, can’t see it. Two competing flavours there. Hazelnut?


Hazelnut. It’s a mild flavour, might add a nutty aspect to the caramel flavouring and would compliment the burnt vanilla component nicely. Yes, I think I will try that. So I poured, I paid, I creamed and sugared.

And lo, it is good. A slightly nutty, slightly sweet caramel with burnt vanilla flavour that was still acceptable as a lesser-calorie morning coffee.

I hereby dub thee French Hazemella Coffee.


Mmmmmmmmm! That sounds gooooood. I love mixing flavors. I usually go with hazelnut and french vanilla (kinda boring I know). That French Hazemella concoction sounds pretty damn good though.

May I propose a catchier name? “Hazemella” sounds lovely for a wood stain or herbal remedy, but a little awkward for coffee. And “French” ignores the obvious Italian character of hazelnut.

So perhaps French + Italian = Corsican?

Corsican. I like it. Has an exotic mediterranean ring. Maybe Corsican Vanilla, since the former takes care of both the hazelnuttiness* and the caramellowness*, the latter describing the vanilla element.

Unfortunately all of my Corsican Vanilla has been consumed, so I will have to drink to it with tea.

  • Coming to the OED in 2026