Mundane Coffee-Talk

This morning, I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. This is a very new and exciting thing, as I only recently purchaced my own coffee maker.

I happily poured my coffee into my travel-mug, added some of the Hazelnut creamer that I am so fond of, and cheerfully trotted to my car.

Ok, that’s a lie. It snowed again, and so there was roughly three inches of snow on the steps, what with last night’s accumulation combining with the 16 freakin’ inches we got on Sunday that continues to blow around.

Additionally, today is recycling, so I was hauling a Heafty 50 Gallon garbage bag full of newspaper that I used while packing. I also have on two and a half inch heeled penny loafers today, as today is my Shakespeare class, where I have a crush on one of my classmates.

After sucessfully making my way down the stairs, coffee intact, I congradulate myself on an amazing display of grace and poise. I then open my car door, brush the snow off that fell onto the driver’s seat, put the coffee cup on the cup holder, start the car, and commence with the snow removal.

I get back in my car after the majority of the snow has been removed from the RiddleMachine, and discover that at some point the stupid coffee cup fell over, filling both cup holders to the brim with coffee, and spilling over to the pen holder, has soaked a couple of my tapes with Hazelnut flavored coffee, and overflowed to the carpeting of the car. This angers me on a number of levels:

  1. DAMMIT! No coffee!
  2. DAMMIT! No way of cleaning it up, I’m not going up those Stairs of Death again, and I’m late anyway!
  3. DAMMIT! My tapes might be ruined!
  4. DAMMIT! My car is gross now!
  5. DAMMIT! No coffee!
  6. DAMMIT! How the hell is it that we can build space stations, but we can’t design ONE coffee cup holder that HOLDS the coffee cup? The car wasn’t even freakin’ in motion!

Has anyone discovered a good store bought alternate to the ridiculous exuses for cup holders that are in American cars these days? My sister’s Mazda has one that you pull out, it’s a loop that suspends the coffee cup. That’s brilliant. Anyone know where I can buy one of a similar design? I’ve seen cheap ones at gas stations that suspend from the car door, but I don’t trust those. I’m desperate, all I want is to be able to travel with beverages. Is that too much to ask?


A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:

“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!

You’re such a little klutz, Swimmey.

And I was going to suggest that you quit your job and sign up with the Bomb Squad.

okay, don’t get all indignant then.

I never get spills with the stock cupholder in my truck, a 96 Ford Ranger. The holder has a slot that faces toward the cab, allowing a handled cup to settle down nicely. And, an interior band can be popped up, creating an effective deeper well for a taller cup.

And to top it all off, my truck is purple. Go ahead, envy it…

Sorry, Wally. I was playing in the 3MM and Scooby Doo threads. "DAMN YOU WALLY. YOU CALLED ME A KLUTZ. Oh, wait, I readily admit that.

Max: Yea, but can you parallel park anywhere. Hah!

I want coffee cup holder brand names, people! Work with me here!

There’s an easy way to solve the problem without getting a new cup holder. Any cup holder will work better if the cup of coffee has a lower center of gravity. I suppose you could leave home with half a cup of coffee, but that just seems wrong. What I do is leave home with a full cup of coffee and immediately spill half of it on my shirt. After that I never have trouble with the cup holder.

I dunno about you, Swimming, but attempting to leave my home without first drinking coffee is always a bad idea. Don’t even think about it. Drink your coffee indoors, and all will be well.

Why don’t you get a manservant to hold the coffee for you while you’re driving? That’s what most respectable people do.

  1. Get one of those mutant coffee mugs that has a wide, phlat bottom and looks like it melted on a hot day. This is what Dorothy had in her bedroom during her unscheduled tornado ride, and it didn’t tip over.

  2. Get one of those self-sealing mugs that requires you to press a button to open the drinky-hole.

  3. For Christ sake, switch to amaretto creamer!

<Brooklyn accent>
This is Coffee Talk. Bring your daughter and her dog, we’ll have some coffee, we’ll talk.
</Brooklyn accent>

Oy, I’m getting verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves, I’ll give you a subject. Chick peas are neither chicks, nor peas, DISCUSS!!!

Well, for what I assume to be a bunch of coffee drinkers, the best you can do is a funny mug and a manservant? I think you can do better than that…

<Brooklyn accent>

  • And remember that phone numbah is
    555-four four-four four
    And that Barbra Streisand, umph, skin like buttah!!*

“Please Disregard the Following.”

Now that your car is already smelling of coffee, do you still need to bring a full mug to wake up? Won’t the smell suffice? I mean, I quit smoking 3 months ago. The car still smells of it!

There’s nothing worse than burnt coffee.

I am a java (coffee, not language) junkie, and since I work from 4pm to 1am, by the time I get to work, there is nothing but the burnt leavings of the day shift in the Bunn. The inconsiderate jerks never make any more, not even half a batch.
Those Bastards!

And I am such an addict that I have to brew more, which is okay, but it’s time consuming and somedays I don’t have time to do it.
I know, I know, wah.
Just sharing.

import java.awt.*;

public class MyClass extends Application
{
    public static void main(String args)
    {
        System.out.println(“I love coffee,”);
        System.out.println(“I love tea,”);
        System.out.println(“I love the java jive,”);
        System.out.println(“And it loves me!”);
   &nbsp}
};

That was a rather amusing OP. I am with Athena on this one, drink your java inside. Funny looking mugs aside, don’t you know better than to drink and drive ? :wink:

::Homer Simpson voice::
Ummmmmmmm, coffee . . . nectar of the gods.

Irish creme is the best.

If “April showers bring May flowers”, what the f*#k does April snow bring ???

This is why I don’t touch the stuff. Just stay away from that coffee stuff. However my drooling problem more than makes up for it.