For the most part I agree with you and do not find anything you’ve said to be hateful or homophobic.
Whether I, the rest of the gay people in the world, or open minded people think, being called gay is considered a slur.
It is used to defame and belittle.
I also found the comments about Poundstone offensive, especially in the context of the current allegations that she is living under.
The PC police needs to back the fuck off where this is concerned and realize that while it should be a neutral thing where the sexuality of others is concerned, currently it is not. To pretend it is otherwise is fallacious.