I have it on good authority that Stoid is gay.

The BBQ Pit
1

How do I know? Osmosis, it’s in the air. :rolleyes:

I need say no more than that, since that is simply the dumbest thing I’ve read in a long time, but I think I’ll continue.

In This thread, you displayed an incredible talent. I only wish I were as talented as you.

What remarkable clairvoyance you have. Damn. Who else is gay? Am I gay? I mean, you can tell before anyone else, right?

Um, you’re right. But the real reason that you can’t list anyone is because you’re talking out of your ass. Again. Do I hear someone saying “I have a list here of 250 Communists in the government right now”? If you have names and can confirm them, then by all means tell us. Otherwise, shut your McCarthyite ass up.

You know, I just know you’re gay, Stoid. I mean, you must be. You just look so…well, gay. :rolleyes:

And the kicker:

Well shit on a shingle. How nice it is that we have people like you to tell us that a man who’s been married twice to incredibly attractive women is gay. And this without you even doing anything more than being in the general vicinity of where they worked. I mean, it’s not like you even know Tom Cruise, right? Because then you’d “know” he’s gay . . . y’know, because of the osmosis and everything. Nicole Kidman seemed to think he was straight enough to marry (she certainly has nothing to “cover up”, so to speak), so who the fuck are you to say anything?

Stoid, did you ever hear the saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?

In other words, shut your rumor-spreading, wanna-be-bragging, “I know who’s gay before they come out so I’m cool”, name-dropping ass up, OK?

Or at least have the courage to tell us that you want to sleep with Ellen.

2

Why do you treat “gay” as an insult?

It is your attitude that makes people think homosexuality is a bad thing.

This is a pet peeve of mine; you can ask questions or speculate about any personal aspect of a celeb’s life, except if they are gay or not.

When you treat that question as something that should not be asked, that perpetuates the idea that homosexuality is something to be ashamed of.

Did Stoid ever say anything like “Since I think Cruise is gay I’m not going to any of his films?” If she didn’t, she can speculate about any fucking thing she wants, and shouldn’t be called on it.

3

I find it disturbing when people say one can “just tell” a homosexual, because it reinforces the myth that there is a visible difference in appearance or behavior. It overemphasizes the idea that they’re “different” from straight people in more than just their sexual preference. I don’t believe that. Sure, some gays/lesbians proudly display habits or overt mannerisms that we associated with gay culture, but not all of them choose to do so. So I find it somewhat offensive to peg people as homosexuals based on something visual.

THAT SAID, my coworker has what she’s always termed “gaydar.” She’s is exceptionally good at telling who is gay even before they’ve come out to her. I can’t deny her talent, she’s as good as she claims. Now, she’s a twin and her twin is a lesbian; maybe that gives her some insight. I haven’t asked her about any celebrities, though, and I have no idea if she goes by appearance or other clues in speech (what’s said, what’s not said etc).

So while it bugs me to no end that people say they can tell, I do believe that some probably can.

As I posted in the thread about being oblivious, I’d probably have to catch someone in bed with their same-sex partner before I’d pick up on it, unless they told me directly.

4

Maybe you can. Personally, I find it obnoxious and repulsive.

's why I don’t read People.

Also, I don’t think this is just relative to “gay”. Saying that “I always know which celebreties are fucking around on their spouses just by looking at them once” is pretty re-goddamn-diculous too.

5

Revtim, I think one of the problems Doors has with this is that Stoid is outing people. As in, there is nothing in text to indicate that Paula Poundstone is a lesbian, yet Stoid states it as if it were fact. We don’t do this. When we do, as Stoid has done, we get called on it.

Poor choice of words, absolutely. On both sides. The fact that Stoid seems to “know” Poundstone is gay, and asserts this with nothing but “osmosis” or “knowing” to back her up (where have we seen [url="http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=71445"this before?) is as necessary and useful as anything else said about Poundstone being a lesbian in that thread: none. Some of the most useful information I saw in that thread related to Poundstone’s sexuality was Hastur informing us that she’s never discussed anything about it in an interview. She also talks about dating guys in some of her routines, according to deepbluesea, though Jeff Olsen recalls her alluding to a sexual preference (he didn’t say which) on the TV show “To Tell the Truth”.

We haven’t heard Poundstone say she’s gay. And we certainly don’t need, any of us, to have anyone out her on this board. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Especially with nothing more to back up such a claim than “osmosis”.

6

this thread.

And I’d been doing so well with coding . . .

7

What I found interesting about Stoid’s original claim was that on the one case where there is controvery, Tom Cruise, she says “I don’t know”. It seems like the least she could do is give us a hard prediction on him, since it is something that there is some chance she will either be proven right about or proven wrong about in the future. It reminds me a bit of a cold reading where the psychic claims she knows everything about the future but them clams up of obfuscates when asked for details.

My guess (which is, of course, only a guess) is that what happens is that Stoid has no preconceptions about most people’s sexuality (an admirable thing) so that when she learns someone is gay she isn’t suprised, any more so than she would have been suprised to learn they were straight. Since she isn’t suprised, the new fact settles into her brain as something she has ‘always known’ (all of our brains work this way).

Now I may be comletely wrong here: Stoid may have incredible powers of detection and she may have clearly thought to herself “these 50 people are gay” and 25 of them have since come out, there have been rumors about 15 more, and the pther ten never date anyone. But since she can’t in any prove that claim, or verify it, or explain in concrete terms how she does it, well them claiming that ability does sound like the worst sort of “I have secret knowledge about celebrities” type name dropping. Airman Doors was right on about that, even if his choice of words in other areas was poor.

8

Well Cranky there is a visible difference. I don’t believe that gay people can truly “act straight”. Because your sexual orientation is a part of you and if you don’t act on it or act against it your going to act differently.

9

Rock Hudson?

Robert Reed?

I think it’s fair to say, that even among close “friends”, those guys, at least for a signifcant portion of their life, chose to “act straight”.

10

I have absolutely no objection to homsexuality, or the people who engage in homosexual activity. Your personal preferences are your own business.

I object to the people who make it their business to neb into other people’s business and spread rumors that are unsubstantiated.

Stoid made some allegations, and I called her on it. Simple as that.

Sorry if I came across as homophobic. I can see how it may have been percieved that way. That was not my intent.

Anyway, I see a lot of people every day, and the odds are enormous that at least one of them are gay. Looking at them, I can’t tell. And I don’t care.

Sterra, how is it obvious to you? Is it their walk? The way they talk? What?

Sounds to me like you have some problems with stereotyping as well. Acting gay? Come on. How do gay people act? In my experience they act the same as you and me.

I think some elaboration on that point is in order.

11

Well I have never heard of those people, but that doesen’t mean friends can’t be wrong. The fact that at least some gay people act straight and there is no scientific method for determining “gay” or “straight” would skew any results.

12

Heh heh…you said hard…heh heh heh.

13

Jeez! Whoda thunk such a think would get anyone’s panties in such a twist!

Sorry you were so put out, Airman Doors, but I guess we come from different attitudes altogether.

  1. As others have pointed out, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with anyone being gay. At all. Even a little. There is absolutely nothing negative about it whatsoever, except for the way people treat as something shameful.

  2. From my perspective, I haven’t outed anyone. Maybe it’s a big shock to you, but in my neck of the woods, it is pretty much acknowledged in Paula’s case. I’ve heard her being gay referred to on television and radio since this happened.

  3. In that same thread, after my “osmosis” remark, I also explained that I was briefly in the same business as Paula, and I saw her around, hung in the same places with the same people and knew some of her friends.

  4. If you are offended by the “osmosis” remark, go ahead and be so, but I don’t know how else to explain it. It has nothing to do (nor did I say) that “I can just tell” “I can tell by looking” (although anyone who claims that ** no ** gay people are obvious is simply not paying attention, and are being ridiculously PC. I’ve had too many screaming queen friends to buy into that. There’s gay folk that flaunt it and gay folk that don’t.), it’s just part of the info I"ve always had, especially with someone like Rock Hudson. I swear to you I cannot remember a time when I did not know he was gay, when everyone I knew just accepted it as a fact. It wasn’t put aside as a separate thing to discuss in hushed tones, it was just a fact. Same thing with the others I mentioned.

I know of lots of others. But I’m NOT going to talk about them because they are pretty deeply closeted. The ones I mentioned are not. There are also some, like Tom Cruise, that are a big question mark to me and to everyone I know.

If you don’t like that answer, sorry, it’s the only one I’ve got.

And I suggest that YOU get over thinking it’s the end of the world when someone’s sexuality is discussed. The less shame we attach to it, the fewer people will be ashamed to reveal it.

Oh, and by the way, I’m only gay occasionally. :smiley:

stoid

14

Before anyone starts flaming Doors for the “homosexual activity” bit . . . he tells me he was just using the “professional” way of saying it, rather than “sexual relations between two people of the same sex”, which he probably should have said.

Sterra: “The fact that at least some gay people act straight”

How does one act straight? Conversely, how does one act gay? I know what the stereotypes are. I don’t buy them. For example, I’m bi. I don’t have a limp wrist, a lisp, I don’t get worked up over Dorothy Parker, I don’t go clubbing, I haven’t been in a pride parade, I don’t dress well . . . am I acting straight?

Assuming that “Those people” refers to Rock Hudson and Robert Reed, the IMDB should have plenty to offer. I know that Reed played the father on “The Brady Bunch”, and that Rock Hudson was in a lot of movies.

And “there is no scientific method for determining “gay” or “straight”” . . . how about “are you sexually attracted to your own sex? The opposite sex?” Those two questions, it seems to me, would pretty much clear up a person’s sexuality, so long as they (the questions) were answered honestly.

Not that it’s any of anyone’s business until that person makes it such. Which, to my knowledge, Paula Poundstone has not. As such, speculation or any claim to knowledge of her sexuality is opinion at best and outing (among other things) at worst.

15

Never heard of these people?

Rock Hudson was a fairly famous movie actor.

Robert Reed played Mike Brady in the Brady Bunch television program.

I was responding to your assertion that NO gay people “act straight”…I wasn’t addressing any “scientific method” for determining if someone is gay, straight or other. Nor was I addressing whether friends are “right or wrong”. Exactly how does that work anyway? If Robert Reed chose (as it seems he does) to “act straight” for a least a significant period of his life, even among those he considered friends…how could those friends “be wrong”?

The case of Rock Hudson appears (as near as I can tell) a bit different. In the Hollywood community, his sexuality was considered an “open secret”…

16

Stoid, the issue isn’t " it’s the end of the world when someone’s sexuality is discussed," it’s the claim of having secret access to 100% accurate knowledge that can never be proven or disproven. I mean, at least consider the possibility that you could be wrong: I mean, you’ve never had any hard proof on any of these many many people you “know” are gay, and there is no evidnece that you knew that people like Rock Hudson was gay before he was outed.

Let’s reframe your coments:

“I am psychic about earthquakes. I can’t explain it, it’s osmosis from living around here, from being in touch with the earth. I am never suprised when an earthquake hits any particular location. I know where lots of future earthquakes will be, but if I told you it would start riots and drive property values down, so I’d better not. And I can’t make any predictions about “the big one”–that one I am not so sure about.”

There is an annoying smugness about your unproveable claim. Surely you can see why that irritates people? Even if it is true, I recomend not bragging about it. It is like a man bragging about his incredible bedroom skills: He may or may not be incredible in bed, but it isn’t clear why he feels the need to bring them up, and you can’t help but suspect that he is relying on the fact that his boasts will never be put to the test.

17

That’s a good way of putting it. And given that in my childhood, my family was pretty closely connected to “the hollywoood community”, the fact that I knew the secret is not such a stunner.

As for the whole “act straight” controversy, I think it is more accurate to refer to it in the reverse, as “flaunting one’s gayness”. As I said in my post, I’ve had plenty of friends who, while stopping short of being drag queens, behaved in nearly every other way associated with flamboyant gayness. Speech patterns, mincing walks, “faaaaabulous”, etc. To deny that there is a way of behaving, dressing, walking, talking, and broadway-show-tune-Judy-Garland-worshipping that is associated with being flamboyantly gay is just ridiculous. Same thing goes for butch lesbians.

stoid

18

No, I’m afraid I can’t. Because…

Why in heaven’ts name would knowledge (which I have explained is NOT reliant on some sixth sense, but merely a function of where I live and the people I know) of certain celebrities sexual preferences be considered something to “brag” about? how weird is that? It just is. Paula Poundstone was being discussed for obvious reasons. * Someone ELSE ** casually ** referred to her as gay, as though it was generally understood, * and another person questioned that. I confirmed it with one sentence, and still another person demanded to know how I knew… hardly a matter of me puffing my chest out and saying “I know something you don’t know, nyah nyah nyah!”

Gimme a break already.

stoid

19

Stereotypes aren’t accurate, but when you say you are gay I assume you look at people of the same sex differently than you would the opposite sex. People can cover this up, but they cannot change themselves and it manifests, even if only by its absence.

beagledave I was not talking about stereotypes. To paraphrase a song “Straight acting marine seeks straight acting man. How straight does he look when hes on his knees?” (I don’t remember it well)

Conversly when I said “The fact that at least some gay people act straight” I was talking about stereotypes. People embracing stereotypes keeps a scientific study from being accurate. I guess using two differen’t definitions for the same word was a bad idea.:slight_smile:

20

Stoid is gay??
She can’t be!
She doesn’t LOOK gay…
:wink: