I have no name, at least not to my new grandson (almost 4 months old). I hate, hate, hate “Grandmother”–for crying out loud, I’m only 41 (yes, I had Hallgirl2 VERY young) and am not any visual related to a grandmother–and do not like any of the “country bumpkin” derivities, like Mamaw, Grammy, Gramma, or Nana.
In the mean time, Hallgirl2 and NewBaby are here for another two weeks and I’m still nameless.
His mother keeps referring to me at “That Lady” or “Hey, Lady”, as in “Here, NewBaby, go to That Lady so she can hold you.” I’ve got to come up with something soon though, or I’ll be stuck with That Lady. I’ve thought of Bubby (or Bobe, depending on the source), but it’s too close to “Bubba” (God forbid they get stationed in the south…) and it means “Breasts” in too many languages. We tried Anne (pronounced ahn-nay), which is Turkish, but it didn’t stick. (Hallgirl2 spent her junior year in Istanbul, which is why we original tried Turkish.)
I need some suggestions, and need them quick. What did you call your grandmother (or great grandmother), or what do your grandkids call you? Was it something which they chose, you chose, or you just fell into it?
My daughter calls my wife’s mother “Grandma” and my mother “Baci”. My mom was born shortly after her parents immigrated from Poland, and that’s the Polish word for “Grandmother”.
I called both Grandma, or if I needed to be specific, Grandma Neal and Grandma Ginny. When my brother was young, he asked our great grandmother if we should call her Grandma or Great Grandma. She said “Oh, just Grandma.” So that’s what we called her. Just Grandma. Until I heard that, I figured that it was because she lived alone. Who lives in her house? Just Grandma.
My mother goes by grandmary to my kids, but then her name is a derivative of Mary.
My MIL was Oma, because that’s what you call your grandmother in Dutch.
My paternal grandmother went by Meme (with both long e’s) and my maternal grandmother went by Nanny (both these names were derivatives of their first names) or Vovo or sometimes Avo if you were in trouble.
Let’s see. Some grandmother names in our families: Nana, Grammy (or Grammie), Grandma, Gram-Gram, Mama, GG (that one’s for great-grandma, though), Gram, Gran.
In Swedish, you’d be Mor Mor, since you’re his maternal grandmother. (Paternal grandmother is Far Mor, maternal grandfather is Mor Far, paternal grandfather is Far Far, etc.)
My maternal grandmother was Mimi to my brothers and me, Grandmarie (her name was Marie) to one set of cousins, and grandmere to the other. Great-grandmother was Nana.
‘Oma’ also for German users. My grandmother was ‘Grandmother’, because she was English and there WAS no alternatives. My mom is ‘Nana’, not sure where that came from. Haven’t a clue what I’ll be when the unthinkable happens.
Can I respectfully make a suggestion. Get over it the age thing.
I’m projecting, but I’m hoping you find this useful.
My grandmother was 39 when I was born and hated the word grandmother. Hated being a grandmother. Its not my damn fault she got pregnant at 15. For all of my childhood, she wanted to be something other than my grandmother - and her dislike for that word was part of the behavior she projected. She loved her neices (many of them my age - or younger) and lavished attention on them. But not me. Not my sister (two years younger). We reminded her she was “old” and we reminded her of mistakes made 23 years before. By the time the baby was born, she was at least a little more ready to be “Grandma” and my baby sister didn’t get the brunt of it.
She has other issues which I’m sure you don’t have. Probably has some borderline personality disorder. Kinda bitchy. Treated my mother like garbage for 40 years. There is more to this than just the Grandma thing.
She’s dying of lung cancer. I haven’t bothered to go visit her. I need to take my kids over at some point… On the other hand, I really don’t need to bother to visit her, she is getting plenty of company from those neices - in fact, I was told to stay away since she’s had too much company - I’m still not her priority, and she isn’t mine.
To answer your question,
We call all of them “Grandma” - “Grandma Firstname” when necessary - and we don’t have fights over which one gets to be “Grandma” - they started that when the kids were little (both families have the ‘Grandma’ tradition - I called both my Grandmothers ‘Grandma,’ and Brainiac4 called the one he knew the same thing - the one he didn’t know was “Miss Firstname” - but that is a long and strange story involving people in the South with Money, second marriages, and family you barely speak to - perhaps Sampiro will write it for me sometime, unrelated to my grandmother) and I said “I don’t care what you tell me you want to be called - but you don’t get to pick for the other person.”
Be advised that you may not get called by your name of choice. My dad’s mother actually wanted to be called "Grandmother, " but she ended up with Grammy anyway, because that’s all I could say at first. We’re not country bumpkins, for what it’s worth.
My other grandmother was Grammaw, but I didn’t choose that–I had older cousins who had already started calling her that.
My kids only have one set and they are Gramma and Grampa. At first my daughter called them both Grampa, but she got over it.
We have a friend called Donnie (a nickname for Diane) with many children, and grandchildren and partly to avoid confusion and partly, I think, out of vanity, she has everyone call her Granddonnie.
My mom is called Shug by my kids. My aunt is called Mimi. It works well too because the kids of my children’s generation all call them the same name (both my kids and my cousins kids will call their grandmothers Shug and Mimi). I also know a LiLo and a Baboo. But most of these names were there before the grandkids.
Is there a title you’ve always wanted but never been able to use? You could be Empress or Lovey or Lady or Grand Poobah or…okay, that is all kind of silly. You might want to just stick with grandma.
