I have now had the full college experience; or, why there are rules against this.

The BBQ Pit
1

Yup, folks, that’s right. I’ve now seen it all. Been there, done that, made the t-shirt myself.

You’ve heard about my roommate. You’ve read about our basketball team. You’ve read about our fucked-up Student Government and the presidential candidates thereof. If you were around last July you saw that I have some activity in student organizations.

I discovered I was bi last . . . October? I think I have yet to convince my roommate of that, despite his advances.

I decided against posting a mini rant against whoever lit something on fire two floors above me last week because, quite frankly, I didn’t care that much since it only took a few minutes to resolve.

This . . . this is way fucking different. Now, there are a few basics to get out of the way so I don’t sound like I’m whining any more than I actually am:

  1. This is a no-smoking building. All five floors. And if an alarm in one hall of any of the eight halls (the first floor has no residents) goes off, the whole building goes off, so to speak.

  2. There have already been several fire alarms this year. There were three in the first week of the fall semester. And I know for a fucking fact that this one was not planned.

How do I know this? Couple reasons. Firstly, we’re currently . . . oh, a week away from finals. I don’t think this school is sadistic enough to have a fire drill at 3:30 AM one week from finals. Secondly, as I was walking down the hall out of the building, I happened to see the hall trash can area, and someone was spraying the whole room because apparently something was on fire. And lastly, because the firechief person who came to talk to us at around 4 AM told us that the fire had been caused by a cigarette being tossed into a trash can.

So there were two fire trucks that came and essentially washed the fire away. My room was half-flooded (luckily the only things that were substantially wet/damaged were two pairs of pants and part of the carpet), but most of the people in the hall are fucked. One girl’s computer conked out. The fire people didn’t turn the electricity off before they started spraying, which became a concern later (think: “Hey, my computer and its power source are awfully near that water . . .”). And the carpet will smell something fierce for a while, unless it’s replaced (which it possibly will be, God-willing).

So I’m one of six people out of 26 on that half of the floor who has the option of sleeping in my room tonight. And the entire building (which is over 200 people) got a nice wake-up call at half past 3 that someone had been playing with fire. AGAIN. Not too pleased with that.

So I’d like to give a hearty

FUCK YOU!!!

to whatever Fucksickle was careless enough to do this. It’s not like we’re ALLOWED to smoke in this building. There’s a reason for that. Think maybe next time you’ll remember the rules apply to you too?

Fuck. I can’t even get properly pissed off. I’m still in shock . . . it’s actually funny. That someone would be THIS stupid . . . gah.

Fuck. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!

2

This is exactly why you don’t want to live in a halls of residence.

That sucks 'punha. There seems to be a certain breed of person that simply never learns simple resepect for his or her fellow man. One can make efforts to separate oneself, but the bastids will still get you from time to time.

Just keep repeating to yourself “I won’t have to put up witht his much longer”.

And get thee to a library :slight_smile:

pan

3

The residence hall I lived in for two years had a different tradition: late at night, some doof would set a phone book on fire and dump it down the trash chute. Fortunately, that normally just meant that the building would have to be cleared and the firefighters only paid attention to the basement, where the trash chutes led. Still, pain in the ass. Although it was somewhat less painful after seeing the girls from our co-ed dorm outside in the cold wearing their PJs…

4

Ah, the memories…

I feel your pain.

Really.

I remember first year finding out that our Girls’ Residence was anything but…

The building was evacuated after some idiot set fire to her mattress (with a cigarette, in a non-smoking building)… While the firemen did their thing, I noticed that a good third of the “residents” were of the male gender, freezing in -40oC, in the middle of January. In their boxers. Let’s just say that their family jewels shrieked and sought refuge in their lungs.

Ugh. And yeah, I’ll back the statement to get thee to a library.

Best,

E.

5

I feel your pain punha. Same fucking thing happens in my residence hall and my girlfriends. I’ve already got my apartment picked out and I’m never living in these shitty residence halls again.

6

Seeing as this is exams, those girls these days are studying instead of being in their beds wearing exciting underwear . . .

Did get to hang with some mighty attractive people once inside, though.

And yes, I am living in an apartment next year. With guys who don’t drink much or smoke at all.

However, no library for me. There are 24-hour computer labs now that finals are approaching. Yay for that:)

7

Kabbes has a point. Back in the Dark Ages I lived in the dormitories for one semester. I got out as soon as my contract ran out and I could find a room on the economy. The food was bad enough but the thing that cinched it was the damned prank fire alarms. We took them seriously because the dorm was a fire trap. There are few things to match standing out in an Iowa winter in your skives while the local fire department checks the place, room by room.

8

In my last semester living in dorms, we had a fire alarm at around 1AM that caused everyone to have to stand outside for several hours. It was the night before the GREs.

The cause was that several drunken idiots had decided that it would be fun to use the fireplace in the lounge. Of course, it didn’t occur to them to check and see if the chimney was still functional, which it was not. Also, they had no firewood. Ever resourceful, they stuffed the sofa cushions in the fireplace and lit them on fire. Do you know what burning cheap faux leather smells like?

That building has a 15-story tower, that did a fine job of substituting for the nonexistent chimney. There were people on the top floors who thought the fire must be in their own rooms, there was so much smoke.

Once the fire was out and we were allowed to return to our rooms, a car alarm started going off. Continuously. Every 15 minutes. Until morning.

There were some unhappy campers at the GREs…

9

You think you have it bad…

A few weeks ago one the toilet in one of my school’s dorms literally exploded. It soaked down through three whole floors…

ICK!

10

Ohmylord, even, where are you? I can see this happening at Porter, for some reason…

My sophomore year of college, I lived in on-campus apartments. That was the El Niño year, when it rained pretty much constantly for seven straight months. Probably as a result of the rain, our fire alarm was totally fucked up. It went off all the time. Usually at 3 am. In the rain. We would stand under an overhang, freezing, barefoot, until someone could come over and turn the alarm off.

That was not a good year. There were a few times when I felt like I would just cry and give up if it rained for one more day.

11

You’re bi?

12

My first year in college, the fire alarm went off so many times in our dorm, the fire department didn’t even bother sometimes. Hell, if I didn’t smell smoke, I didn’t get up.

Sometimes, after another obvious false alarm, they would get everyone out of the dorm, and make them stand there for about an hour, outside, while they just sat there and chatted. Just to piss everyone off.

Then there was the time the Dean of Men pulled it to catch one guy who was screwing his GF in his dorm room despite rules to the contrary. He went out the door, she jumped out the window (first floor), mostly naked, right in front of the Dean of Men, who was grinning.

I never got up for a fire alarm.

13

I’m sorry - you’re telling me that it was against rules to screw your girlfriend in your own room???

What kind of prison was this?

::boggles::

pan

14

Wow.

My girl wants to live in the dorms, I want to get an apartment. Maybe now she’ll see it my way.

Well, between that and the no-screwing thing. :wink:

15

Wow. U of Chicago has the most boring dorms. No couches on fire, no vomit in the halls, very little public drunkenness, everything’s QUIET after quiet hours, and the only false fire alarms were because there was a short in the system.

Neener neener neener. :stuck_out_tongue:

::flees, giggling::

16

Yes. Mississippi College, a fine Baptist instution in Mississippi since 1830, is kind of narrow on the casual intercourse between two unmarried people on campus or in campus dorms thing. I think the thinking goes, if you have a GF (or whatever) you have to screw that much, get an apartment off campus and have fun.

Thus what the Brigadier (the Dean of Men’s nickname) did. Dude had been warned, but didn’t listen.

17

Tiggeril,
Of course I’ve heard a U of C grad school motto:
“University of Chicago: Where Fun Goes to Die”

I think at my school we could screw per se, but no one of the opposite sex could stay after 11 (I think it was assumed the one implied the other and no one wanted to state things more graphically for the trustees).

18

Ah yes, but they make up for that with the Amoco of Death.:smiley:

::knows it was before tiggeril’s time, and is going to be amused to hear of her tales in finding out about the Amoco of Death::

And yes, CityGent, I’m bi.

19

OK, I’ll bite. What is the Amoco Of Death? Is it in any way related to the U of Chicago scavenger hunt?

20

What is the Amoco of Death?

Okay, folks, gather round the ol’ campfire. Uncle Punha is gonna tell all you young’uns a story.

Back when a friend of mine was at UofC, and a freshman, during the first week of school or so there was a robbery/murder type of thing at the local Amoco, which was maybe a block from his dorm. So for the freshmen living there and for others around them it became known as the Amoco of Death.

IIRC.