From time to time, I get a small rash on my left side, a few inches below my pectoral muscle. It’s about the same shape and position as the gash that Christ has in most of the paintings that depict His crucifixion. Up until today, I merely found it annoying, but now I realize it’s stigmata. Are there any other cases of this type of stigmata, as opposed to the bleeding hands/wrists that Cecil described? Also where do I apply for beatification?
hey greg-
A good dermatologist will be able to clear that up with a few anti miracle pills!
I think abrasions around the crown of the head also count as symptoms of stigmata, but untill you can do the whole walking on water/bread and fishes/ resurection thing, I’d just write it off as acne.
So every time I get drunk at a party and fall down stairs I get stigmata around my head?? Cool. 
Greg Charles posted:
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It’d have to be a little bit lower. The soldier’s spear would have had to pierce below the rib cage to open up an abdominal cavity so that blood and water flowed from his side.
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Just because it looks like what you see in paintings (where artists practice their artistic license), doesn’t mean that’s where the piercing actually took place or what it looked like.
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Yes, there have been stigmatics with the wound on the side; but only in conjunction with the stigmata on the hands.
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Stigmata is not a rash. It is a flow of blood out of an open wound. The wound has to be such that it can only be explained through miraculous intervention; and not by any natural, medical means.
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Stigmatics have been devoutly religious people who commiserated or obsessed over the crucifixion. To put it as politely as I can, that doesn’t seem to be the case with you. If you’re not sure it’s stigmata, it ain’t.
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To apply for authentication, you’ll have to go to a Catholic, Orthodox, or Anglican church (the other Christian denominations don’t seem to be into stigmatas). Although, the Roman Catholic Church seems to be the one to go to for the really authentic stamp of approval (however unlikely your case for stigmata may be). You’ll have to undergo rather rigorous medical exams. The bar for ‘proving’ that it is actual stigmata is rather high. You have to show that the ‘rash’ is more than just unexplainable; but that it’s downright contrary to the natural laws of science. (This is the same high bar for ‘proving’ miraculous healings, other miracles, or demonic possession – the modern RCC can be rather skeptical.)
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As far as the application for beatification, you need to obtain the first prerequisite – death.
Peace.
Moriah says: << Stigmatics have been devoutly religious people who commiserated or obsessed over the crucifixion. >>
Umhmm. Or outright frauds, too, let’s not forget that bunch of stigmatics.
Here’s the link to the original column by Cecil on the topic: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/980220.html
"6. To apply for authentication, you’ll have to go to a Catholic, Orthodox, or Anglican
church (the other Christian denominations don’t seem to be into stigmatas). "
“Stigmatas”? The singular is ‘stigma’, the Greek plural ‘stigmata’. Of course, if you’re referring to multiple bodies displaying stigmata, you may have created an example of what are enigmata.
Ray (Whatsamata anyhow?)
NanoByte posted
We may have unearthed multiple agendas.
Peace.
I can’t be positive, of course, but I’m guessing that the OP, Greg Charles, had tongue in cheek with his post. Though I’ve enjoyed the responses.
Beatification sound too hard. I think I’ll just get some aloe.
It came back to life!
Before the zombie dies, anyone know why the earlier posters are missing name/join date/etc.?
Jesus works in strange ways.
<mod>
People trying to put threads down,
(Talkin’ ‘bout their resurrection)
Just because they get around
(Talkin’ ‘bout their resurrection)
Threads are looking awful c-c-cold
(Talkin’ ‘bout their resurrection)
I hope they die before they get old
(Talkin’ 'bout their resurrection)
Too late. Zombie Jesus is walking. Let’s kill him now.
** BLAM ** Closed.
</mod>