Become a Buddhist. In the hope that one day I may achieve something that makes me happy. then die.
Gradually increase/replace my sources of pleasure, to compensate for the gradual reduction in interest in old forms of pleasure uunntil the day I die. Getting a hobby, preferably one that involves getting fit. Falling in Love, Marrying, Having kids. Bringing up the kids. Watching the kids become successful, travel the world, die.
Buddhists would argue that option 2 does not really offer true happiness (only an illusion) but what the hell, they may be right - I choose the Matrix.
Followers of option 2 would say that buddhism is a big gamble, and that it doesn’t seem to offer happiness. they can’t understand why people who have no kids, sex, possessions, hobbies, can possibly be happy.
I have no idea. I suppose this would be something for the GD forum, considering your feelings about your life are by no definition mundane or pointless; if this does not appeal to you, I suggest doing more serious soul-searching than merely posting on a board comprised of people you have never met. If you go blowing your head off ala Kurt Cobain, you don’t want to go out knowing that you based your life on someone else’s opinion.
BTW. There are many happy Buddhists. You are extraordinarily prejudiced/ignorant if you think that absolutely no Buddhists have kids, possessions or hobbies. No wonder you feel so torn between two options— you appear to understand nothing of the Buddhist religion, but regular life holds nothing for you, either.
I suggest option #2. It’s a more gradual change. If later, you’re still not content, then consider option #1.
Realize that happiness is independent of your circumstances. The richest man in the world may be miserable, and the poorest happy as can be. Happiness is something which is inside you. If you keep on thinking, “If I had THIS I’d be happy,” you’ll never achieve it. First of all, you need to learn to be content with where you are and what you have. Then, any “extras” which come along will just be icing on the cake.
I think you’ll find that if you can change your way of thinking and find contentment where you are now, you’ll find that everything falls into place.
Yes, get a hobby you enjoy. Evey day, try to think of ten things you are grateful for. Find pleasure in the “small things” of life. Take time to smell the roses. (No one ever lies on their deathbed thinking, “I wish I would have worked more.”) Return to childhood-style play. (Kids have a special gift of “fun” that adults tend to lose in the day-to-day cycle.)
Once you have found happiness in yourself, you are ready for that “special someone.” Don’t feel pressure to find a mate out of loneliness or desperation. You must be able to feel content in being alone before you are ready. Have children when you are ready to dedicate every moment of your life to them.
Good luck. Remember that nothing can MAKE you happy: you must make yourself happy.
Respond to hypocrocy and start a flame war? I Think Not
The buddha himself ‘gave up’ (left) his wife and child. I am aware, that there are people who follow the religeon of buddhism and at the same time have kids, wives, and maintain their lives. It is “ignorant” (to quote you) of you to assume I wasn’t.
I am not using the SDMB to help me choose my life direction. I am simply posing a hypothetical question.
I suspect you are not a troll so I will try to deal with this in a more civilized way.
That you said this suggests that you think I said ‘absolutely no buddhists have kids’. I did not. And I did not mean to imply the same. It is a traditional view of buddhists that they give up their possessions and leave their family.
Newsflash - It is not nice to basically tell someone they are ignorant, and then tell them that their life is crap and has no future.
You may not have meant it to sound as bad as that, but I am not psychic, I cannot tell what you meant, so I have to guess.
So I lost control a bit. I called you ignorant. And I posted in a situation in which I should not have (in the heat of the moment).
originally posted by Lobsang: "So I lost control a bit. I called you ignorant. And I posted in a situation in which I should not have (in the heat of the moment)."
That is exactly what I did as well. I was already in a bad mood, and I made extremely rash judgements about you when it was certainly not my place to do so. I made a bad decision in posting what I did— I sincerely didn’t mean for it to sound as cruel, thoughtless and immature as it did.
I apologize, and hope that I— and this thread— will not be entirely ruined. Straight out: I’m sorry for my complete stupidness.
offers Lobsang a bouquet of flowers, then steps back
Wow! Thank you, all! You like me again! “You are a fine lady.” Wow, Lobsang! I think you are an excellent person, yourself! There’s no point in feeling guilty or anything for getting mad— I made an ass of myself, anyway. And thanks to you, Q.E.D., for all you’ve said, too. I ought to use “son of a mud-skipper’s uncle” one of these days!
Thanks again, for accepting my apologies. I sincerely mean that, too. I am sorry, and I appreciate all these posts.
launches into “Happy Happy Joy Joy” dance, then realizes how retarded that looks, smiles like Alanis Morisette in Dogma, and takes off
Okay, okay— back to the OP, which I so rudely interrupted.
I think it is possible to go for both options. You can work and live your life with Option #1, working hard in your career, supporting and helping your family, keeping your possessions and appearance clean and neat, and living just as you normally would. However, you could do this with a kind of Buddhist outlook— a sort of… I don’t know… karmic viewpoint. You wouldn’t have to convert officially, but you could still believe in the concepts of Buddhism, and live with those goals in mind.
It does. And to a small degree I already live my life a bit like that. You know, understanding my enemies rather than simply hating them, understanding why people do contemptable things (such as my Brother’s wife screaming at her innocent kids for [for example] asking for some orange juice more than once)
I can’t really put my finger on the specifics right now, but I am sure my point of view/methods for dealing with life have changed [for the better] since discovering what buddhism is about
