What does Buddhism have to say about enjoying life? (e.g. food and sex)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Inspired by [post=10131767]a comment in this thread[/post] (post number 13), I am going to ask a question about Buddhism.

It has always been my undestanding that Buddhism seems to be directly contradicted to modern-day secular US culture, namely because, as far as I understand it, to achieve Enlightenment, a Buddhist needs to learn to avoid earthly desire. In particular:
Enjoying fine foods and wine, for example, is contrary to the search for wisdom.
Enjoying sex is also contrary to the search for wisdom. It is beneficial to purge oneself of the desire for sex.

Am I totally misunderstanding this? Does Buddhism not teach this? Or does Buddhism teach this but it is deëmphasized in Western culture because it is too hard for most people to practice? Or does Buddhism teach this but Westerners reject this part of Buddhism?

If Buddhism does teach this, then how does a Buddhist reconcile it with the common attitudes in Western culture that promulgate enjoying good cooking, or having a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life?

2

Just like any other organised (or in the case of Buddhism, semi-organised) religion, there will be as many “takes” on the teachings as there are people to interpret them, but…

My understanding is that it is not the *enjoyment *of these pleasures that binds the soul to the earth, but the *desire *for them. There is nothing bad in enjoyment, and in fact, many Buddhists focus meditation on simple pleasures (when one eats, one should focus completely on eating, when one walks, one should focus completely on walking, etc). It is when the desire for these pleasures controls one’s life that one must destroy the desires.

It is quite possible for a person to enjoy something that she does not actively desire. For example:

I can (and do) enjoy oral sex when I am tied down and helpless. I do not desire it, but I will enjoy it. Make sense?

Of course, someone might come along and say I am completely wrong, but, I suppose, that is the way of life, no?

3

Siddhartha grew up in hedonistic luxury, but turned against it.

He then tried to live the life of the extreme ascetics, but found it to be no better.

One day he overheard a lute-player telling a student, “If the string is too tight, it will break. If the string is too loose, it will make no music.”

He then realized that both extremes were bad, and that true wisdom lay on the Middle Path.

4

Life is a balance of good things and bad things. In the end, we all die. So one should enjoy the good while you can and try not to increase the burden on others. Aceticism is for old folks. :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Buddhism, at least the early schools of buddhism, seems to place a high emphasis on the monastic life (which entails complete celibacy and renouncing material posessions). But at least according to my understanding, a lay person can still be enlightened. It’s attachment to desires that causes suffering, not desire itself. Being a monk is one way of losing attachment, but it’s not the only way.

There are several different varieties of buddhism, so a Therevada (way of the elders) answer to this question might vary from a Tibetan Buddhist, or a Zen Buddhist.

6

{sigh}

7

As mentioned above, in general it is desire that causes karma, and both extreme asceticism and a sybaritic lifestyle are antithetical to the teachings of the Buddha, who famously taught the middle path. As a general rule, Buddha’s teachings attempt to decrease the influence of lust, anger and mental befuddlement, and sex and drugs are generally going to be associated with these things. For example, the Eightfold path teaches ‘abstention from sexual misconduct’, as well as avoiding harmful careers, such as prostitution, or selling intoxicants.

That said, are we talking about trying to follow the Buddha’s teachings very actively, renouncing the world, becoming a monk or nun and attempting to achieve enlightenment in this lifetime? In this case, yes, you’re gonna want to focus, so drinking, carousing and a complex sex life are going to be contrary to your goals, while getting up at dawn and meditating will be more what you’re striving for.

If, on the other hand, you’re trying to live the life of a householder and layperson while adhering to Buddhist principles, you may find yourself with a less severe regime. In general, buddhist teachers, at least the Lamas that I’ve heard asked these questions, (mostly Mahayana and Tibetans) are relatively easy-going on this issue, suggesting that one meditate and attempt to generally incorporate buddhist principles into one’s life, without being all-or-nothing.

It is, incidentally, possible to achieve enlightenment as a layperson, although difficult - Layman Pang and his family are probably the most famous examples.

8

From a Zen standpoint, especially the layman Zen that I practice:

Non-attachment is a self-defeating philosophy…that is, if you’re attached to non-attachment, you’ll just reincarnate again anyway. Moderation and letting go are the keys–not needing things, but enjoying them as they’re presented in a spirit of mindfulness.

To paraphrase one of the masters: Zen Buddhists are expected to strive for a state where the passive oneness learned in meditation carries over into life, where every situation and action is directly perceived and enjoyed with a childlike sense of wonder and experiencing the new moment by moment, whether that’s walking to work, making love, watching clouds, whatever.

To paraphrase a story I heard: A rude tourist was getting bored with listening to the master of the Kyoto Temple speak on the philosophy of Zen, and interrupted with “Well, just answer me this–what’s Zen’s position on fucking, huh?”
The master, without missing a beat, responded “When fucking, only fuck.”

9

Fucking Buddhists.

10

My understanding is that Buddhism strives for a detachment of desires, as a few posters have said. Feel free to enjoy anything pleasant that comes along, but don’t go through life wondering why you don’t have more pleasantries (i.e. being attached to enjoyment). For example, a Western male’s reaction when seeing a very attractive woman may be something along the lines of, “Wow, she’s absolutely gorgeous. I wonder if I could get her as a girlfriend, or into bed. Women like her are out of my league though. God, it’s been like a month since I’ve been on a date; I’m pretty damn lonely.” A more Buddhist-centric type of response may go, “That is a very beautiful woman, how lucky I am to have experienced seeing her walk by.” This may be a kind of simplified example, but that is what I have gathered through my readings. The different levels of the practitioners, as well as the sect they identify with, would also influence their response to enjoyments.

11

You have neatly summarized here why I love Zen Buddhism.

With regard to the OP, they call it The Middle Path for a reason. I think the goal of Buddhism is often very misunderstood as a kind of acetic or emotionless life. It’s not that at all. It’s just being willing to be present with whatever is going on in the moment. If it’s good wine, you enjoy the wine–you don’t get attached to the wine, and you don’t develop an aversion to the wine, you just drink the wine. Zeriel couldn’t have explained it better. The key is to bring awareness to everything you do. Not judgment, just awareness.

12

Here’s a story.

A monk came to a master and asked how to achieve detachment. The master told him to meditate on detachment for a year. At the end of the year the monk told his master that he had finally achieved detachment. The master then struck the monk in the face with his staff. The confused monk asked why and the master replied “To detach you from your detachment.”

13

Could the monk not find a less painful way of making his point, or is earthly pain necessary to appreciate its opposite? :slight_smile:

( I don’t mean its exact opposite, more like its opposite extreme. If you know what I mean? I’ll get my coat.)

14

Giving rise to the lesser known mantra “Man, she is freakin’ hot”

15

Basho and a young monk were travelling from one monestary to another.
They came to a river crossing and a beautiful young woman was waiting, dressed in great finery
She beseached the monks, saying"I cannot cross this river, or my fine clothes will be ruined by the water, can one of you carry me across?"

The young monk looked at her fine dress and knew she was courtesan, and said “I can not, for you are a woman of the flesh, and we monks are trained to not desire such things!”
Basho looked at the woman and said “I will carry you upon my shoulders, hop on!”
Basho Carried the woman across the river and let her down. She thanked him and went upon her way.
Basho and the monk went upon their own way.
Several day’s later, the monk asked Basho “Why did you carry that woman across the river, she was obviosly onlu a fleshy play thing of some prince…?”
Basho replied: I put that woman down a few days ago… why are you still carrying her?"
regards
FML

16

I am an atheist.

Whenever I hear anything about Buddhism, it’s always so goddamn reasonable and sensible.

Religion is wrong…isn’t it?

17

In Thailand, we have LOTS of drunkard, drug-addicted and/or whoring monks. I suspect they’re going against basic precepts. The problem is anyone can go be a monk for a while, so a lot of addicts and criminals use the temples to hide out for a while while at least trying to adopt a spiriitual face.

Best are the stories like the two “gangs” of monks from different temples in I think it was Nong Khai a few years ago who engaged in a flat-out street brawl.

There was another good case of a monk who got caught driving around at night and picking up hookers in Nonthaburi province, just outside of Bangkok. Monks have their heads shaved, and he wore a very comical-looking wig as a disguise.

Unfortunately, it’s not so funny anymore when someone gets killed. A female British tourist was murdered by a monk who lured her away to show her some cave or rocks or something in Kanchanaburi province. She felt fortunate that such a “holy man” would take an interest in her, when unbeknownst to her he was a speed addict staying in the temple trying to dry out.

On holidays and special festivals, the local lay population (generally all men) use the place as a drinking center for the evening, although this seems to be more upcountry than in Bangkok. The monks will sometimes join in.

18

Missed the Edit window. Just wanted to add that I’ve seen many Westerners become enamored with Buddhism, but often the reality on the ground is quite different from the theory. Same with all religions, I guess. Not being a Buddhist myself, I may not be the best one to ask.

19

I have a newspaper clipping of such an incident, with an orange-robed monk’s fist connecting with the jaw of a green-robed monk. Hilarious.

I am an atheist, and I feel the same way. But don’t worry: the samsara/karma bit is still extremely hokey.

That said, many of the lessons Buddhism imparts make way more sense than any of the other major religions. I’m particularly fascinated with the aforementioned relief of suffering via freedom from desire, and anitya (impermanence), which has helped me a bit through recent traumas.

Both of the above are logical propositions, IMO, that impart a huge amount of wisdom about the human condition. There’s a Buddhist centre near my house that I’m tempted to visit, but the hokey aspects of the belief system still get in the way.

20

That’s okay, many Buddhists are atheists, too.