I hit myself in the face with a hammer (handle) today

So I’m helping the hubby’s parents move out of their now-closed print shop. We’re tearing down old shelving, boxing chemicals, breaking up furniture, etc. I’ve managed 3 days of this without injury–notsomuch as a sore back, I’m proud to say. Then, of course, I had to be Stupid. Not just stupid, mind you, but Stupid.

While the boys tore apart some wood shelving (to be recycled into a future storage shed), I was taking the gradually accumulating pieces of said shelving and removing all the old nails. There must’ve been 15-20 nails on each of the 15-20 boards. That makes 225-400 nails, and for about nine tenths of them I did GREAT.

Then–on the last freakin’ board, on one of the last freakin’ sides, I was working on extracting a stubborn nail. At this point, my hands are sore, my arms are sore, and I’m apparently tired. Not that I noticed that so much at the time, but I need every excuse I can get, so for posterity (and pride), I was tired. I was working the hammer claw on the nail, hooking it and pulling it brilliantly TOWARD me. RIP POW! I just gave myself a split lip!

And it still hurts, dammit. Food hurts. Brushing my teeth hurts. Even, the horrors, kissing hurts. And my pride is pretty sore, too.

[sub]sometimes I wonder how I manage to make the bed without major injury[/sub]

Don’t feel too bad. I work in the trades, and I actually nailed my foot to the floor (nail gun, that would really be stupid with a hammer). It hurt. I’ve fallen off of a few houses. I even caught a house on fire while none of us was paying attention. Accidents happen. (My ratio of good to bad is still around 5000 : 1, tho. And insurance is a good thing, let me tell ya…)

First thought when I read the title: “Why did you do that?”

Second thought when I read the title: “Do you want me to kiss it to make it better?” (That’s when I got the fear of Death Llama making me dead.)

Well, you should be proud of yourself for making a bed at all! I just put mine together from an Ikea kit.



“Does your face hurt?”
“I thought so, ‘cause it’s killin’ me!”


(I hope you feel better soon.)

Well I dunno why, but this just reminds me of the old saying, “She’s as ugly as a blind cobblers thumb.”

Just kidding

Oh, one more thing.

Is the hammer okay?

(I hope you know I’m kidding Ruffian. I hope you feel better soon too!)

Gives new meaning to the old saw “better than getting hit in the head with a sharp stick”

Experience is what we get from doing it wrong the first time.Wisdom is knowing when to stop. :slight_smile:

Ruffian, you poor thing!

It could be worse - my friend’s mother managed to shoot herself in the foot when trying to shoot a goat (she breeds them for meat) the other day. Apparently the bullet must’ve bounced off a tooth or some hard bone. To make matters worse, she had to continue the job of skinning it, de-gutting it and chopping it up!

OOooo bad. I’ve done something like that. I once gave myself a black eye getting my chain unstuck on my bike (it got stuck in the chainguard so I had to get the wrenches out to take it off)

The next day at work I had one of the guys I worked with come up to me and ask if some guy had beat me, and if they had he offered to beat on them for me in return. I was flattered that he cared so much but sadly no, I had done it to myself.

You know those mop buckets, with the basket to wring the mop out, with a spring loaded handle? I was taking off the basket part to pour out the old mop water and the springloaded handle was released and i got hit with the handle which had sprung back. Hard enough to knock my glasses off, FWIW.

I said to the doctor" Doc, everytime I hit myself in the mouth with a hammer it hurts".

The doctor said " Don’t hit yourself in the mouth with a hammer".
Here is the solution.

So I says to the doctor, says I, “Whenever I drink tea I get a stabbing pain in my eye.”

The doctor said, “Take the spoon out of the cup.”

Thanks you! I’ll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress!

I said to my doctor, “Everytime I bend my arm like this, it hurts!”

The doctor said, “Then don’t bend it that way!”

(lame, I know, but it was the only one I could think of)
Ruffian, I feel your pain. I’m the Queen of Freak Mishaps, I think. When I was a kid I was hit in the eye by a softball that somehow rolled up the bat when I swung at it.
I’ve also dropped cement blocks on my toes, not once, but three times in my life.
I also have a permanently out-of-joint pinky finger that was caught in the lead rope of a runaway horse when I was twelve.
And it runs in my family, apparently. My sister has a piece of lead from a pencil embedded in her knee that’s been there since she accidently stabbed herself with a pencil when she was 10.

Yeah, yeah. Keep the mockery coming.

It’s a bit better today…the pride, as usually the case, will require a little longer to heal.

Greywolf, I most appreciate your commiseration. This is just the latest in a long line of dumb stuff that’s happened to me. Others have included:

*Breaking, or cracking, my foot when a piano dolly was dropped on it

*Severing a tendon in my pinkie–which required surgery and physical therapy–when I accidentally punched out a window (I was only knocking on it!)

*Severely spraining my ankle when I got the brilliant idea to walk the neighbor’s hyperactive standard (read: large) poodle while wearing roller skates

I’ve also had a host of weird medical conditions, all ultimately benign, but…peculiar. (Pilonidal cyst on my tailbone, a weird infection thing that had pea-sized lumps growing in my scalp, a “lipoma”–nice word for a fat tumor, etc.)

Grey, we must be related somehow!

Ruffian, I think we must be! :wink:

I’ve also had the weird medical stuff too. Two years ago, I had strep throat that lead to this unbelievable bright red rash all over my body overnight. I rushed to the ER and was told I had scarlet fever. And not just your average, everyday run-of-the-mill scarlet fever! Oh no! I had the worst case the Dr. had ever seen. She told me it was even worse than the illustration in her textbook!

Heh. Maybe we should start a support group for victims of freak accidents/strange medical conditions.

Ah, another hammer victim. A friend of my SO’s fractured her skull by hitting herself in the face with a hammer… Not the handle though, the actual hammer head (thankfully, NOT the claw.)

She is in fact a skilled carpenter and builds everything from furniture to houses for a living. The accident happened not on the job site however, but at home. One dawdling Sunday, she decided to fix the porch railing of the old house they’d bought. Because of the way it had been nailed together she had to tap the railing free by tapping it from underneath, towards herself to loosen the nails that had been pounded in from the top.

For the most part, it went smoothly. At each post she went tap-tap-tap from underneath, tugged upwards and the rail was free, the nail sticking out underneath the railing like a fang, and a hole in the slighlty-rotted post where it had been attached.

One nail just would not free itself from its nail hole. Tap-tap-tap… Nothing… TAP-TAP-TAP… Nothing… BANG-BANG-BANG… Nope. That nail was still snuggly in place and the railing would not come free.

The claw of the hammer didn’t fit over the rail for prying. She should have gone looking for a more accommodating pry-bar, but no…

Instead, she wound up… 1… 2… 3… swung the hammer underhand like a powerful softball pitcher’s throw… Sah-wing battah!

And like Casey at the bat she swung that hammer so as to knock that railing right up into the heavens above–

– missed the wood surface of the railing entirely and bashed herself in the face next to her eye.

Her hand covering her pained face, she howled for her partner and said “I’m gonna uncover my eye, tell me if it’s bad.” With lightening speed, she pulled her hand away then covered the bleeding injury up again. Her girlfriend went pale and said “it’s bad.”

Then they went grocery shopping.

Everyone at the supermarket looked at her head like they thought she really ought to be dead. The cashier was aghast and said “you have to go to the hospital.” So our dear friend and her partner shrugged and went to the ER.

They confirmed that she’d fractured the bone at the outer edge of her eye socket, but couldn’t do much other than prescribe better painkillers. At the hospital they kept asking her “do you know who did this to you?” To which she answered “Yeah… I did!” Thinking she was the victim of spousal abuse (not realizing that her same sex spouse was the one that came in with her), the hospital staff persisted and kept asking if she wanted to speak to a counselor. “Do you know who did it?” “Yeah… Me!”

Even the police were called to the ER. To this day, the hospital staff thinks she was hit by some man/boyfriend/husband, but wouldn’t press charges. You have to appreciate their efforts though. They just wanted to protect their patient. Their concern was noble.

And can you blame them for not believing her? Who goes and hits him/herself in the face with a hammer? :wink:

When I was 8 we had a horrible snowstorm in my town. Replete with 12 foot snowdrifts and people scrambling for food.

My next door neighbor, Gary, was standing on the steps above my driveway, and I was standing in the driveway. I was using a coal shovel, gary was using a spade.

Gary slung a spadefull of snow and CUT OFF MY GODDAMNED EYELID!!!. I mean, it was hanging by a thread.

Thankfully his mom was an RN, she butterflied the lid back into place and gave me a can of frozen orange juice to hold on my face. It’s fine now, but I can still remember still being able to see with my eye closed. Wierd. Lucky I didn’t lose the eye.

I always wear safety glasses doing anything nowadays. It pays to be careful.

That same summer i accidentally cut gary’s toe off with a small axe. He still believes that I did it in retaliation for the eye.


Wow. I will never make you angry. Really. Please, don’t hurt me.

[sub](Didja send the toe off to anyone else as a “warning?”)[/sub]

It really was an accident, Crayons! Though I’d never miss the opportunity to have someone fear me out of misunderstanding- Muhahahaha!!

And I like Canadians. Married one. never hurt anyone if I can avoid it.


This thread reminds me of a thought that came over me during the summer. We were tearing open roofs,when a friend cut himself(not too bad though) . When he was getting bandaged up I thought: “damn people hurt each other everyday on purpose, here I am worried about my crew getting hurt , and people do shit a zillion times worse to each other on purpose” then I thought : " am I becoming a pacifist?"
I guess working in the trades and seeing co-workers/friends get hurt got me to thinking…

Just rambling…feel better