OW Ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

OK, I’ve been inspire by Swimming Riddles in her thread

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=49617

What is the silliest injury you’ve ever caused yourself?

I have a couple worth mentioning.

The first: when I was in high school, I was playing with my little sister (8 years my junior) and while running from her I managed to catch my little toe in a door frame. I halfway ripped it out. OW!

Second: Living in the dorms in college, we didn’t have quite the same bathrooms facilities as we did back home, go fig. I used to keep my razor in my little brown bathroom bag thingy. One time, reaching in there for something, I managed to slice a good chunk from one of my fingers. OW! From then on I decided to used the toothbrush hook to hold my razor. Well, remember shaving at 7:45 in the morning when you had to be at class at 8? I forgot to put the razor back in its designated place, and sliced another finger. Ya know, razor cuts bleed badly. This story would be over, but I did the same thing about 4 months later. I have scars on my fingertips from doing that.

I decided to grow a beard. It wasn’t because of my damaging clumsiness, but because I wanted to try it out. Looking back, I think it was a good decision.

One more thing, I’ve also gotten toothpaste in my eye twice. Don’t ask. When I was the best man in my best friends wedding, he gave me a very nice pocket knife… and a box of band-aids.

OK, I’ve embarrased myself enough, it’s your turn now!

2

I found out how it feels to staple your finger…on purpose.

It feels a lot like you think it would.

:eek:

3

Been through (I don’t know how to spell) the windshield a few times, accidentally. Maybe tonight, I don’t know, but Ithinks me shall remain wherabouts me is…

4

I broke my big toe twice in five days. The first time, in an abortive effort to learn some martial arts, I was sparring with a good friend of mine who is a 2nd degree black belt. I threw a kick, and he blocked, catching it right on the elbow. POP Ow. Five days later, still limping, I was up in my grad student office, and had the window open. I left my keys inside the office and walked out. The doors locked automatically upon closing, and a stiff breeze started to blow the door shut…rapidly. I took a lunging dive, unthinkingly putting my foot in harm’s way. POP OWWWW!!! Very stupid.

Once, I cut the end of my finger off while cutting cabbage with a dull knife. Also very stupid. It is reattached, but I have almost no feeling in it.

In college, some friends came over to my place, and I went to meet them in the yard. A big pine tree near the street had a large, overhanging branch. I jumped up to grab the branch, and unexpectedly found out that there was a thin stick protruding from the top of it. My weight coming down on the branch drove the stick completely through my hand.

Finally, this qualifies as a stupid injury, but not to me, even though I caused it. I am a big man, and I come from a family of big men. As is often the case in such households, our play has always been rough-and-tumble. I grabbed my dad around the waist one night, from the back, and we began to wrestle (good naturedly. There was never an ounce of anger in it.) My dad leaned forward very suddenly, and hoisted me onto his back. I wasn’t expecting it, so I started to flip over his head. This threw him off balance, and he staggered. His head went very cleanly through a plate glass window. When he came back out, he had a giant gash starting at his hairline, down his forehead, and narrowly missing his eye. We rushed him to the doctor, and he had something like 25 stitches. I thought I was a dead man, but dad just shrugged it off. We don’t wrestle very much anymore, though. :slight_smile:

5

Once I was absentmindedly playing with a stapler while reading something on my computer. I somehow managed to drive a staple into the palm side of my pinky. The staple was still partially in the stapler, and my pinky was stuck; I had to squeeze the stapler a little bit to unlatch it (OUCH!). When I finally pulled out the staple I felt it pop out of my pinky bone: not a pleasant sensation. Needles to say, I no longer play with loaded staplers.

6

When I was about 5 or 6 I landed nosefirst (with the rest of my body directly above that), after slipping from the top bunk while annoying my little brother in the bottome bunk.

Broken nose, which never healed up correctly. It looks fine, but the bone isn’t attached to the cartilage.

7

I and my brother “squabbled” a lot when we were younger. I wanted the bean bag chair and he, through no reason other than Satan-induced maliciousness, was keeping it from me. Well, at one point it was in front of the couch. I dove for it, hit the hard edge of the couch with the bridge of my nose. Not broken, but it hurt like hell.

Another time my oldest (different) brother was chasing I and my (same) brother through the house. Same brother was holding my hand. He went through the door. I ran face first into a wall.

8

I am an expert in stupid injuries. Somehow, this condition was particularly acute during my college years.

1. Sophomore year: a couple of guy pals are coming over for dinner. Roommate #1 did the main course, Roommate #2 did the side dishes, and I was in charge of dessert: my trademark peanut butter fudge. I used a Cutco knife to slice the fudge while watching Tiny Toons (and not the knife or my fingers), and came down, hard*, on my left thumb’s joint. CRR-RRAACCK! I split the joint capsule, hit the bone, and exposed a surprising variety of interesting colors that lie below the surface. As it was an straight cut, it actually required no stitches…but the scar remains.

2. Senior Year: I had this really, really stupid prank of pounding on people’s windows to scare the crap out of them. It was a pretty funny gag, until I tried it on an old, loose window of my friend’s apartment. It went something like this: POUND POUND SMASH! I didn’t feel anything, and when asked if I was okay I said, “Oh, yeah, I’m fi–oh, wait, I’m bleeding…” I’d severed a tendon in my left pinky. My pinky! I actually had to get surgery–and freakin’ physical therapy–for my PINKY. Stupid minimally useful digit.

3. One year post graduation: DeathLlama and I are lounging on his roomie’s couch, which happens to take the place of a mattress in the bottom bunk of his bunkbed. We’re watching the Simpsons, having a grand time, episode ends, and I get up to go…and promptly conked myself silly on the upper bunk. I didn’t just gradually get up to go, I practically jumped up…oooof, that hurt. I remember hearing my neck crack (just joints, now, duh), and being so stunned I teared up. I had a huge bump on my head for a while after that one, and was nauseated and dizzy for a bit. I still wonder if I didn’t get a mild concussion from it. Really stupid part: After an hour or so, I got in my car and freakin’ drove the 75 miles home. Derrrr…

Oh, there’s more, but I’m tired now. Besides, I have more injuries to incur.

9

I am an expert in stupid injuries. Somehow, this condition was particularly acute during my college years.

1. Sophomore year: a couple of guy pals are coming over for dinner. Roommate #1 did the main course, Roommate #2 did the side dishes, and I was in charge of dessert: my trademark peanut butter fudge. I used a Cutco knife to slice the fudge while watching Tiny Toons (and not the knife or my fingers), and came down, hard, on my left thumb’s joint. CRR-RRAACCK! I split the joint capsule, hit the bone, and exposed a surprising variety of interesting colors that lie below the surface. As it was an straight cut, it actually required no stitches…but the scar remains.

2. Senior Year: I had this really, really stupid prank of pounding on people’s windows to scare the crap out of them. It was a pretty funny gag, until I tried it on an old, loose window of my friend’s apartment. It went something like this: POUND POUND SMASH! I didn’t feel anything, and when asked if I was okay I said, “Oh, yeah, I’m fi–oh, wait, I’m bleeding…” I’d severed a tendon in my left pinky. My pinky! I actually had to get surgery–and freakin’ physical therapy–for my PINKY. Stupid minimally useful digit.

3. One year post graduation: DeathLlama and I are lounging on his roomie’s couch, which happens to take the place of a mattress in the bottom bunk of his bunkbed. We’re watching the Simpsons, having a grand time, episode ends, and I get up to go…and promptly conked myself silly on the upper bunk. I didn’t just gradually get up to go, I practically jumped up…oooof, that hurt. I remember hearing my neck crack (just joints, now, duh), and being so stunned I teared up. I had a huge bump on my head for a while after that one, and was nauseated and dizzy for a bit. I still wonder if I didn’t get a mild concussion from it. Really stupid part: After an hour or so, I got in my car and freakin’ drove the 75 miles home. Derrrr…

Oh, there’s more, but I’m tired now. Besides, I have more injuries to incur.

10

I worked as a line cook in college (even though I can barely boil water, but that’s another story). I was preparing broiled scallops. You put a little butter at the bottom of the dish, in go the scallops and then more butter on top. You throw it under the broiler and let it, well, broil. Then you have to flip the scallops and throw it back in the broiler. Here’s where it gets interesting.
I reach into the broiler with my tongs, grab the dish by it’s little lip. I set it down on the counter and procede to flip the scallops. Then, genius here, in order to put the dish back in, grabs the dish, fresh out of the broiler with my finger and thumb on the little lip. The waitresses heard the following - “Ow, Darn! Crap! Hell! Boogers!” (family forum, don’t you know) {crash!!}{splatter}
Both my thumb and forefinger blistered up, but good. It hurt like a son-of-a-biscuit for weeks.

11

They don’t call me Grace(ful) for nothing. Lately all my accidents have been curling iron related. I have a burn on my left hand the size of a silver dollar. Its really quite colourful.

12

Well…I’ll put my worst stupid injuries, though I have had many, many more…

When I was real young (5 or 6), I showed my brilliance at being stupid. I was being chased by my oldest brother around the house. Being the genius child that I was, I decided to look behind me as I was rounding the corner between the dining room and the kitchen, and ran my head straight into the corner of the wall just as I turned to look forward. Nice puddle of blood formed a few seconds later when I came to on the floor, and a nice half-inch wide gash on my head down to the skull. That required a nice 27 stitches to fix up.

7th grade I got in a fight with my brother. After being bashed upside the head by a big Lego starship (Shaped appropriately enough like club), I made a swing to his head, and made pretty good contact. Unfortunately, it was with the knuckle of my pinky finger, which doesn’t quite have the structural integrity of the skull. That required a visit to the doctor to set the bone and get a cast.

End of 8th grade we went to my oldest brother’s wedding in D.C. I was walking around with yet another brother, and I gracefully decided to trip on a rock or stick and break two bones in my ankle. The best part is that I got to enjoy the remaining two days of touring D.C. with a broken ankle, and a plane trip next to an annoying younger brother who kept kicking my ankle and flight attendants who kept spilling coffee on me whenever their cart hit a little bump in the carpet.

One time I was shaving extra plastic off a model airplane part with an Exacto knife, and SLICE off goes the tip of my left middle finger.

I’ve also had problems with grabbing for something and grabbing a shaving razor instead. One time taking a shower I reached for the soap, unknowingly slicing two fingers on the razor just underneath. I didn’t notice until I saw red water going into the drain…I though it seemed kinda funny, water’s not supposed to be red…

Ahhh, the memories…

13

Hmm, let’s see what I’ve done…

When I was about 5, I was sitting on a verandah, swinging back and forth on the fency-bit when I fell over the edge, smacked my head on the brick flower garden below, then fell off that and smacked my head on the concrete below that. I think it may have done permanent damage…

I was washing the dishes and picked up a huge knife by the blade which sliced my palm quite nicely.

I also purposely stampled my thumb.

I purposely sharpened my little finger with a sharpener in grade 1, then while bleeding all over the floor, I waited in line to see my teacher about it.

I got a huge chunk of hair caught in a tire-swing rope which wouldn’t come out, so my brother pulled my head which ripped the hair out and left a bald patch…soooo painful.

My brother dared me to ride off a huge drop on a hill when I was about 8, with my flimsy bike. So I stupidly did. I ended up flat on my back at the bottom of the hill, my bike was mangled and I was in alot of pain.

I have more…

14

Welll If it weren’t fer stupid injuries, I might never have gotten so hooked on this here message board. This last summer I was riding my bike at about 11:00 at night, on the sidewalk. Went to make a turn, missed the corner and dropped into the rather deep groove at the side of the walk.

This caused my handlebars to fly out of my hands and send me directly into the cement. I, of course, stopped my fall by thrusting out my right hand. Broke the occipital bone in my hand. (I think that is the right spelling. It’s the bone at the center-base of the palm, where the wrist starts.

I spent all last summer at home in a cast because I couldn’t do my job in that condidition. Reading this board. And iching.
Did I mention I am 34 years old? 35 on the 15th.

15

Whelp…there WAS the time I broke my arm playing Win Lose Or Draw…

::Wanders off letting them ponder that::

16

I have more then my share of unusual injuries. After all, I had to get the nickname Odie from something ;). It was due to my natural lack of grace. The last one I remember was about a month ago. I had a cut and I had some ointment with Lidocaine in it, which is a topical anasthetic. I had a hair on my tongue and I tried to remove it with my fingers forgetting I had the ointment on it. Let’s just say it is a bizzare feeling having a section of your tongue go numb, while the rest is normal…

Keith

17

Well, lets see…

When I was little, I was riding my trike on the porch, which was about 3 feet high. I accidently drove the trike off the porch into a rose bush. I was covered in thorns. Still have a few scars. Worst part is, my dad was on the porch watching me so I wouldn’t hurt myself.

Fast forward a few years…I’m playing tag with some neighborhood kids. I’m “it”. I’m chasing my friend who runs around a parked car. I trip and fall face first into the car, busting my mouth and knocking out my two front teeth. My folks heard me scream from down the street.

A few years ago, some friends decide it would be cool to climb a water tower. I’m next-to-last to go. I’m up about 25-30 feet when I lose my grip and fall. Straight down. I do a perfect one point landing, only my left foot twists and pops. I think its only sprained until I try to move it. Come to find out, I broke my foot, crushed my ankle, tore tendons and ligaments. The tower now has a locked cage around the ladder.

A friend of mine is a cabinet-maker/trim-carpenter. He once shot a nail from a nail-gun into his finger. The nail had hot glue on it, so the nail instantly bonded to his knuckle. This is the same guy who used to have nail-gun and staple-gun fights with co-workers.

[hijack]
particlewill, happy early b-day. Mine’s on the 9th. (hint, hint ;))
[/hijack]

18

You guys are funny…

Anyways, I generally am pretty graceful (or fortunate if you prefer) so i don’t have a whole lot of “stupid” injuries. Probably 90% of all of my notable injuries are sports related, no stupid or silly IMO. That said I have one cute one to share.

It relates to Ruff’s, in high school when us guys would be out, just for the sake being out until curfew no matter how we passed the time, we’d usually be driving around to various friends/girls homes without notice. Sometimes we’d stop in, sometimes we’d get a little more creative. There was this one girl who was really hot, so naturally we stopped by there alot. One evening when it looked like she had just gone to bed as we drove past out front, we decided to whip out one of our favorite pranks. Surely we hoped it’d get us a glimpse of her naked as she scrambled about out of sorts, but thats besides the point. We used to go “wallbanging”, this is exactly what it sounds like (hey, I never said we were that creative). Most of the homes in the area are small to medium size ranch style, single level homes. Brick exteriors aren’t that common, so we could get a good racket going with bare fists againt the vinyl, aluminum or wood siding. That evening we’d snuck out of our van (about 5 of us) and surrounded 3 sides of the house where the bedrooms were. On a whispered count of three we all started pounding for all we were worth, making extremely loud sounds that shook the walls. Of course it was a weeknight, and her parents were home, so after a few seconds of this we ran our asses off around the otherside of the neighbors house to the next street where we’d hid the car.

This is where the boo-boo happened. Its a very dark, new moon night at about 11 PM. I’m hauling ass through this backyard unable to see much of anything having been under a bright streetlight, and now entering a pitch black area. At the last second I see the outline of an iron clothesline pole, and barely have time to shift my angle to run alongside it, avoiding a collision with the pole or the clothesline. Well, my luck didn’t hold out because it appears these folks liked to chain their dog to the clothesline so it would have more space to excersize. I ran at full speed (pretty quick in those days too) into a galvanized dog chain that was draped at a 45 degree angle from one shoulder down across my opposite thigh. Fortunately it was fairly slack at first, until it became clear that one end was anchored to a dog!!! Sure enough this sleeping friendly dog is now airborne, coming at me. The chain has now tightened and is dragging across my front, luckily I was wearing a shirt and jeans shorts or it would have been worse. The shirt protected my upper body, but as the chain dragged downward it peeled the top of my pants down exposing some very tender skin. The chain acted like barbed wire and stripped about 8 inches of skin in an inch wide path from my love handle to just above my you-know-what. This pain ripped me to the ground, where I proceeded to be landed on by a confused, and soon to become angry german shepard. I think I was back up and running before I even started bleeding. Once I got to the van it was clear that I had a mess on my hands, and everything else. The belt of the jeans had been rubbing back and forth as i ran across the wound, smearing blood everywhere. It is lucky i was wearing jeans though, a pair of my Umbros which were popular at the time wouldn’t have stopped that chain above my you-know-what.

I proceeded to get dropped off at home where I limped inside, unable to explain what happened to the P’s for fear of getting busted, I had to hold a jacket over the bloody pants and suck in the pained face as i walked briskly to my room, and then the shower. Luckily it wasn’t too deep, and I don’t think stiches would have been necessary, so today I have nothing but a fading scar which looks like an arrow to the goods. I have to tell you the next few weeks of healing sucked, my waist bands would rip the scabs of a couple times a day.

Thats all certainly more deatil than any of you care to read, but I’ve never been accused of being succinct.

19

I was about 12. I was outside playing with the dog and throwing a stick for her. I threw it up, then tilted my head up to see where it had gone. It landed in my eye. It hurt. I had to wear a patch for a week and refused to go to school out of embarassment. One good thing came out of it ~ I got to play “Pirate” that whole week! HeeHee. :slight_smile:

20

Oh am I good at these. Random stupid occurances that end up being damaging in the most inane ways.

Roll over car accident. I would have been perfectly fine, not even a bruise, if I hadn’t decided to catch myself as the car was rolling. I stuck my hand through the window and the car rolled over it. (I think I am one of the few people who got priority in the emergency trauma ward for a broken finger, ever. Three nurses and a trauma special guy were waiting for my ambulance when it pulled up. For a broken finger.)

Walking into my room, feel something poke my foot and whimper. Reach down to see what it is…toothpick lodged between my toes, several inches straight into my foot, like a spare bone parallel to the ground. Scream a lot for dad to come and pull it out. That hurt.

Jump off a small walk way onto a sandy beach, wade through sand onto dock, shove sandy feet into cold lake. Scream a lot. Look in horror at the blood all over the dock from walking on it. Pull feet out of lake. Notice lack of bottom half of big toe. That hurt too.

Come to think of it, I impale my feet on all sorts of stuff, and it has yet to cure me of wandering around in bare feet.