Oy some of these things are terrible… worse then what I’ve done but I have a few…
Once I cut most of the nail and a chunk of skin from one of my fingers when I was trying to peel apples.
Not a few months ago (end of October actually) I decided to have fun and run with the grocery cart… an empty grocery cart… that of course I just had to try the ‘jump on the back and glide’ thing… well I instantly fell and scraped my right knee (the first time in years) and had to do my grocery shopping with blood running down my leg.
A couple of times when was walking with freshly sharpened pencils in my hand I tripped and jammed the points into my palm… fortunately it wasn’t straight in but rather at an angle but they still hurt like hell…
Also when I was 5 or so I broke my collarbone… you know those wonderful swing chairs that spin? Well me and I think my cousin as well were playing on them spinning as fast as we could. Grandma told us to get off but I had to keep on for a short time longer… I fell off and landed in such a way that my collarbone broke… I barely remember it though, I just know it happened…
I have injured myself too many stupid ways to count! One of my favorites is this… I learned an important lesson. Even unplugged electrical adapters carry electricity!
I was trying to fix my four track recorder and had exhausted all possible solutions with the machine itself. I turned my attention to the power supply and connection to the recorder. After toying around with it for a while I decided to grab a screwdriver or some other tool to adjust a part but instead of putting down the power supply, I (I dont know why) placed the end that attaches to the machine between my lips! Toungue hits end of chord, electricity shoots through tongue, pain shoots through entire body and I spit out the cord. I felt nauseous for about an hour after and didn’t want to touch the damn four track for a week.
I’ve had so much happen to me in the past couple of days, that I’m gunna make you all laugh pretty hard. In this week alone, I’ve stepped on a rake to have it hit me in the face. I’ve walked right into a wall. I super glued(by accident) a sandal to my foot. I, by accident, stapled my shirt to my arm([/hijack] is right) to keep the sleeve together. I threw a baseball up in the air only to miss the catch and have it hit my head where it gives you a four hour headache. I was knocked down by my dog(a Rodesian Ridgeback) to get a 5in. bruise. And last but not least, I slipped on the ice this morning running after the bus to slide right in front of the bus stop getting freezer burn all over my back. I just did good this week. I hope I don’t have another this good.
I cracked my elbow when I was 9 or 10 playing crack the whip on rollerskates in my back yard. We lived at the edge of a very large canyon. About 2 weeks after I got that cast off I decided to go skate again, and promptly cracked the other elbow. Mom was displeased. I was allowed to skate again, but never in the back yard.
In college I lived in a big old (c1914) house off campus. It had a square staircase with two landings between the 1st and 2nd floors. In the middle flight there was a low overhang from the second floor. The tall guys I lived with learned to duck the first day. I’m 5’8 and cleared it by about an inch. One night I called university escort to take me to the library. He honks, I go running downstairs, and with the extra bounce factor from running, catch my forehead on that overhang, and knock myself back against the wall hard. I was out cold for at least 15 minutes before one of my roommates found me, and I am thankful to this day that he was a med student and had a clue what to do with me. I had huge goose-eggs on both my forehead and the back of my head, as well as a massive concussion. That hit changed my vision for several years, and I believe is a direct factor in my tattoo acquisition a few days later. But that’s a stupid story for another day.
Oh, man. This one’s still making me laugh. What a mental image!
When I was younger, I was fascinated by the cigarette lighter in the car. I’d heat it up, then watch it cool down from red to black. Well, one time I decided to find out how hot it really was when it was red. Pretty damned hot, I discovered. But I did have cool little concentric brown arcs on my finger for several weeks…
I was backstage at senior class play practice with my friend Faith. We were on one side, and my friend Paul was on the other watching us. We decided to be goofy to put on a show for him, so we were dancing around, tango-like, laughing the whole time. She went to dip me and…
FOOM!
We flew right into the curtains, Faith landing on me. What we didn’t know was that there were all these pointy metal chairs nestled within the curtain, and I happened to land right into them on my back. Ouch. Managed to bruise a few ribs. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.