Whoever the little fuck or fucks were that broke into my house last Tuesday, pray I never meet you in person. I’ll be more than happy to do some jail time for assault.
I don’t give (too much of) a shit about the property. That’s replaceable. But you made my sweetie cry, and that is unforgiveable. If I ever find you, my wrath will come down on your ass in such a way that people will compare it to Zeus hitting you in the butt with a lightning bolt, you sorry little waste of skin.
I’ve been burgalrized 3 times. It sucks. The best was when the cops (who took hours and hours to respond) told me I was lucky because they didn’t take more.
At the time the stereo they took was all I had worth anything.
Well Clothahump , my hat off to you sir. I think we both know what you would do to the person or persons who broke into your domicile, and while I feel the subtle rage you have displayed here I feel it is my duty to compliment you on your use of verbal restraint in your op. I would especially like to commend you on the concern you displayed for your significant other. I too share your sentiment about the safety of my loved ones being placed far above my own. Perhaps someday fate will bless you with the gift of meeting said person or persons in a dark alley somewhere where you might be able to bestow upon them the motivational consultation they so richly deserve. Until then, keep an eye on your loved ones and enjoy a glorious day.
Getting broken into sucks, although i seem to lack the gene, or sentiment, or whatever it is, that leads people to feel violated or to lose their peace of mind. When we got burglarized, i was most pissed off about the stuff they took.
I have had FedEx guys lightly frisbee-toss packages onto the porch and quickly retreat to the truck at the sound of our Newfoundland putting all 175 lbs behind his “get off my porch!” bark from behind the door. He takes good care of us.
Now, if the intruder knew that behind that bark was a severe case of hip dysplasia and a torn ACL, he might come on in. But then again, Angus could grab you as you were going by, lay down on you, lock his jaws on your throat and wait, and you’d still be there struggling for breath when the cops arrived.
Those freaking dogs are ENORMOUS! Our daycare provider has TWO of them, and it seems they exist to grab wayward children by the scruff of the neck and gently carry them back into the house.
One of them followed me out to my car one day as I was putting the boys in their car seats, and Jesus Christ, his head was as big as my torso! But all he wanted was a little lovin’…
Yeah, they really are just big lovable lap dogs. Best all-around temperament around kids that I have ever known. Big mouths but very soft- you could shove your whole hand into Angus’ mouth and he would not bite you.
Thieves are business men. They want to get the stuff and go. A dog does not have to be vicious. It just has to make noise and substantially increase the chances of being caught.
In my mothers neighborhood there was a rash of burglaries. The houses that were skipped were the ones with dogs. She had a 100 lb dog. No probs.
I used to rent a room in a house with 3 rottweilers. They were in the backyard behind a chicken-wire gate at the top of a flight of stairs from the driveway (the house was in a hilly part of California, and was on a slope). We got a chance to test the bravery of various package delivery people. The really chicken ones left the packages down in the driveway. The bravest ones left it on the top step.
In a classic case of slamming the door after the horse got out, our new burglar alar, was just installed.
I wanted criss-crossed 50 megawatt laser beams that would turn the burglar into a crispy critter, but was told those are on back-order and I’ll have to wait a while.
Yes, it turns out the alarm installer has a sense of humor almost as sick as mine is.
