Y’know, it would be kind of fun to start up a lawn mower, tape down the dead-man’s handle, tip the mower on its side, and then throw the phone into the spinning blade. From a safe distance, of course. And from behind a protective something-or-other. And you’d want to videotape it, rather than take pictures of it with the other phone. Matter of fact, you could put the new phone in front of your protective barrier to demonstrate what happens to Bad Old Phones that Defy Your Will. Plus, as long as you’re going to all this trouble, you’d probably want to throw some golf balls and bananas into the mower blade, too. As controls. You understand.
But the point is anticipating that marvellous KKRRNK when the phone disappears into thousands of tiny fragments.
(If you don’t have a mower, you could rent a bark chipper…)
One word: Slingshot. They sell really big slingshots for shooting water balloons. You have two friends to hold the ends of the elastic band, and send the phone into the next zip code.
Or better yet, tie the band between two trees, get a power winch to pull it back a few hundred feet, drop the phone into the cup and let her go. Aim for the International Space Station. You’ll be the first person to put a handheld electronic device into orbit.
One of your mom’s friends did that to you? What a bitch! I would kick the ass of someone doing a crappy thing like that to my boy… I really hate punked-style nasty practical jokes!
My suggestion for the OP: do as ccwaterback and da pope suggest and attach the phone to a helium ballon with a note. I’d recommend writing the URL to this specific thread on the note with a request to come here and tell us where and when it was found. If you wrap the phone nice and tightly before attaching it to the balloon then it should come through the trip OK and we can ask the finder to donate it to a women’s shelter in his or her area. That way, you’ll have the fun of sending the phone into the wild blue yonder; we’ll have the fun of tracking this thread and monitoring the phone’s final whereabouts; and two women’s shelters will reap a benefit – the one in your area that you make a monetary contribution to (I’d hold you to that promise just in case the phone is never seen or heard from again) AND the one in the finders area that, hopefully, will eventually recieve the phone to pass on to a needy person.
You could call Guiness (the book, not the beer) and organize the longest throw of cellphone contest, or something in that matter. You’ll have your picture in the book!
You could also create a demonstration and immolate your phone in front of <insert name of your provider here> headquarters to complain about their rates. Don’t forget to call the local news.
As for the balloon route, I’m not heartbroken, but I’ll hope nobody will be headbroken when the ballons will explode and realease the murderous missile
Okay make the phone into a chain letter sort of thing. Leave instructions on how to post here. Once they leave the post they must send it back into orbit for someone else to find. When they send it off it must contain instructions like they received. Then we can track exactly how far it goes and how it got there. Plus we get to see how they send it off(slingshot, spud gun, balloon, etc.)
Yes they pulled that joke on me but I guess I forgot to mention my revenge. I shrinkwrapped her car. I have a buddy at ups and he brought me a roll of shrink wrap. Got it on there so tight she had to cut it off …
Alright, balloon it is. I may have to wait until Saturday, given the time involved. Here’s the plan:
I’ll go to Zany Brainy or whatever the hell that store is and get a helium tank and some balloons. Mylar, I suppose. I’ll then package the phone in a small cardboard box, sealed with packing tape and water resistant agents. Enclosed will be a piece of paper that reads:
Sounds like fun. One additional recommendation: Put some styrofoam or something in the box with the phone. That way, if the balloons manage to take the phone out over water, the box will float instead of disappearing to the bottom. Who knows, you might even save Tom Hanks from that island.
Oh, and you shouldn’t have to buy a helium tank (they’re pretty expensive) – just get the phone all wrapped and ready and go down to your nearest craft store and buy a dozen newly inflated ballons. Then go to your lift-off site and attach as many of your dozen as needed to carry the box aloft (at least 6, I would guess).
ccwaterback, I guess I’ll do it from my front yard. My neighbors already think I’m an idiot anyway. Jess, Saturday is the day. And I’m not talking about those big ass helium tanks, I’m talking about the little ones you can buy at Wal-Mart. They’re for parties and shit like that.
Hell, I don’t know Ruby, think I ought to put a parachute on it?
I don’t exactly live in a very populated area, the best chance we have is if it wanders north into the city. Chances are it will land in the woods.
One safety measure would be inflating one balloon much more than the rest, so when the Bruce_Daddy-1 comunications satellite reaches high altitude only that ballon will blowup, and the rest should provide a slow but declining orbit.
In any case don´t make it too buoyant, it wouldn´t be nice to read on the news that a commercial airliner had to make an emergency landing when, what appears to be the remainings of a cell phone, where ingested by an engine.
