I just had the worst piece of candy ever.
It looked innocent enough. I thought it was just an oddly shaped lemon drop, but clearly it wasn’t.
If I were pressed to describe it’s flavor I would have to say it tasted like a lemony creamy window calk brie powdered non-dairy creamer kiwi shoe polish-overripe kumkuat (the kind that grew in my elderly next door neibor’s tree that would fall every year, go unharvested, become all soft and brown, then attract clouds of those little flies) pine tar applesauce carmex lip balm those gelatinous things you find in tapioca postage stamp glue end-of-day french fry oil licorice cool ranch Dorito vending machine chicken soup septic tank breathable cotton panel off-white gumdrop soy sauce clearasil green potato chip nursing home peanut found behind the couch cushion eggnog urinal puck wild berry pop tart flavor.
And the worst part is that it had a liquid center. I HATE hard candy with liquid centers. Event those strawberry ones with the strawberry seed pattern wrappers with the liquid center, UGH!