I just had the worst piece of candy ever

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

I just had the worst piece of candy ever.

It looked innocent enough. I thought it was just an oddly shaped lemon drop, but clearly it wasn’t.

If I were pressed to describe it’s flavor I would have to say it tasted like a lemony creamy window calk brie powdered non-dairy creamer kiwi shoe polish-overripe kumkuat (the kind that grew in my elderly next door neibor’s tree that would fall every year, go unharvested, become all soft and brown, then attract clouds of those little flies) pine tar applesauce carmex lip balm those gelatinous things you find in tapioca postage stamp glue end-of-day french fry oil licorice cool ranch Dorito vending machine chicken soup septic tank breathable cotton panel off-white gumdrop soy sauce clearasil green potato chip nursing home peanut found behind the couch cushion eggnog urinal puck wild berry pop tart flavor.

And the worst part is that it had a liquid center. I HATE hard candy with liquid centers. Event those strawberry ones with the strawberry seed pattern wrappers with the liquid center, UGH!

Inkz

#2

Did you swallow it?

#3

Sounds like how I remembered Yummy mummies, candy corn, and circus peanuts.

GAG!
Sqrl

Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter

#4

“Yummy Mummys”?

I’m intrigued

#5

You shouldn’t be, they were quite foul. Well, I guess I’ll humor you. They were similar to Circus Peanuts but they came in the shape of a mummy and were in little sarcophogi. It could have been nastier, I suppose. Perhaps if it was a blood red sweet tart with a red karo syrup center covered with a chocolate layer molded into the shape of a mummy and laid in a sarcophogus. Actually, eventhough the taste was completely different, it was still as nasty tasting.

HUGS!
Sqrl

Gasoline: As an accompaniement to cereal it made a refreshing change. Glen Baxter

#6

Hey! I like candy corn!

#7

Inky, that description left me laughing harder and longer than anything has in a long time. Was that seat of the pants, or ::gasp:: prefab?

–Tim

We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first “lost generation” nor today’s lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.

#8

Wow, that has to be some kind of record… less than 3 hours and it made it into the POF! (Page o Funnies section of the Page o Flames)
http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flames.html

–
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com

#9

Pure seat-of-the-pants I suppose. The description was trully inspired by this wretched piece of candy, otherwise I wouldn’t have kept it in my mouth long enough to dscover the creamy filly (shudder).

Inky

#10

Hey, what do you people have against horrible candy? Some of my favorite candies are horrible. My favorite non-chocolate candy (my favorite chockies are quite un-horrible, thank you) must be Piratos. Black salt licorice from Denmark, shaped like coins. Each licorice coin has a pirate or bit of pirate paraphernalia on it. They are very salty and taste strongly of ammonium chloride. Absolutely marvellous. My dad and I are the only people who can eat them. The pirates and I are quite offended by the anti-disgusting-candy bigotry on this thread.

Seriously though, the horrible candies y’all mention sound pretty nasty. I don’t like cream fillings or liquid centers or anything that makes me feel like I’ve just crushed a plump insect in my mouth.

#11

I was WONDERING why you kept it in your mouth long enough to discover its liquid center. All in the name of science, I suppose.

#12

I’m just glad it wasn’t Violet Crumble. I would have felt very bad if someone hated it that much after they tried it based on my endorsement.

Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.–Coleridge

#13

The worst candy I ever tasted were these things I bought at a little novelty shop for a nickel each. I think they were trying to get rid of them. They looked like the same stuff candy corns are made of, but in all the colors of the rainbow, and very heavily glazed. They were shaped like animals. I bit into one, and I thought that they were wax figurines, and that I had mistaken them for candy. But no, there was a teeeeny-tiny bit of flavor. It was that horrible circus peanut sort of flavor, I’m just glad it was so faint. I somehow choked down that one, then gave the rest of them to my sister. I think she still has them.

“That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler

#14

The worst sort of candy I’ve ever had is I believe some sort of licorice. It’s a little licorice-like pellet with a chalky, chewey outside covering. (I’m not talking about Good ‘n’ Plentys, those looke like capsules, these are bigger and look like little, um, tamales or Combos. Like they’re made in a long rope and then cut into small pieces.) Anyway, they taste like tea. Yuk! Who wants a candy that tastes like tea?

#15

I’ve thought about it, & you know, ANYTHING with a squeeshy liquid center makes me ill. I mean, lots of people must like that texture, because so many things are made like that, but- UGH!! Like those cordial cherries, which make me reconsider my decision to quit projectile vomiting. Or sushi rolls with raw quail’s eggs in them. It’s like eating someone else’s snot.

#16

Wow, once again the SDMB comes through. I didn’t know anyone but me disliked the type of candy I know as Christmas candy. I like chocolate-covered cherries ok (though they seem like an attempt to trick me into eating wholesome fruit with my candy) but hard shells around liquid centers disgusted me so much I gave them up over forty years ago. They’re the one food I refused to eat that my parents didn’t hassle me about.

#17

The only truly yummy liquid center is the kind in Gushers.

But then, Gushers are squishy from the start.

What would you consider that type candy, anyway? Not truly Gummy, but yet…

–Tim

We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first “lost generation” nor today’s lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand - or are discovering it as we speak.