Granted, it was online and was only a passing comment to say she was cute, but it’s still disconcerting to know I complimented a girl’s looks when she’s younger than both of my oldest nieces.
And this isn’t the first time either. Am I blind or something? Do I lack the ability to differentiate between women my age and girls that’re just barely inside puberty? It’s a good thing I’m an introvert and that, for the most part, it takes torture to get me to admit I like a girl, let alone approach them.
It doesn’t happen to me, because I don’t talk to anyone online directly, but here’s a spookier thought, that 13 year old may well have been a cop, looking to set you up.
Dude, you’ve got to be WAY more careful than that, I’ve seen the hammer drop on guys that never ‘meant’ to do anything more harmful than flirt.
It was on livejournal and was unsolicited so I doubt very seriously that the person behind the user name was anything other than what she claimed to be.
I’m constantly getting in trouble with the ball’n’chain for flirting with the girls. Thing is, they’re 5 and under… (and I’m not out to pick them up, either)
I got HEAVILY hit on online when I was… oh, I think twelve or so? Granted, it was all textual interaction, I was being quite flirty, and most of the guys were kind of horrified when they found out my age.
Well. Except for the ones that tried to get pictures of my breasts. But never mind those.
Just a thought, but I have heard it’s true that girls are maturing quicker these days. Is this true, and if so, by how much? If so, this could be your problem :dubious:
I was teaching at a private summer school and standing next to the director of the program on the first day. Some attractive looking women started to approach and the director said, “teachers and staff are down that way, in the main building.”
Imagine our surprise when one of these attactive women said they were students. One was 14 and the other 13! The director glibly covered his error and told them where the students were meeting.
The hair, the make-up, the clothes…wow, it was just too strange. Both of those girls could easily have passed for 19 years old! The director was totally freaked out by it and said, “they sure don’t look like the girls I knew when I was that age!”
Well - stop hanging out where the 13-year-old girls hang out. (Though I must confess I’m out of touch - I don’t know where the 19-year-old girls hang out anymore. Actually, I don’t think I ever did…)
Anyway, between my kids friends, neighbors kids & their friends, martial arts, etc I see a lot of 10 - 19 year old girls. It can be tough trying to figure out who’s older than who. I don’t think it’s a big deal.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Though I do suggest you find out how old they are before makin’ your move
In every ccase that I’ve commented on a juvenile’s looks, it’s been in situations where I had every reason to believer they were adults. I hardly hang around playgrounds or teen fora.
Once, long years ago when I was 19 I met a girl at a beach party. When I first saw her she had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. We started chatting and she’ s telling me about a real good band in a nearby nightclub.
So we left the beach, I took her to the club and then we messed around some. I wound up getting her home about 4:00 am.
Before we parted, I made a date with her for the following Saturday night. Then Tuesday she called me and invited me to her house for dinner and to meet her parents on Wednesday night. That visit was when I found out she was 13!
I extracated myself as well as I could, and didn’t go see her again because of the obvious. Trouble is, we were really getting along well for the early stages of a relationship. I never would have guessed she was under age if she hadn’t told me. And she told me in an offhand way, like it wasn’t important. She said she was used to being with older guys and she didn’t understand why I wouldn’t keep seeing her.
So, it can happen IRL as well as on-line. She was a tough chick, and it may have worked out for a while, but there was something about her being 13 that made me feel oogy!
Aesiron, I don’t really think it’s that big of a problem if you honestly didn’t realize and didn’t mean anything by it. It doesn’t automatically make you a creepy pervert (unless you already are). Some people just look more mature than others.
But you might want to double-check before you start flirting.
I ski in a kilt, you see, and noticed a good looking gal in her 30’s giving me the old “hey, nice knees” look in the lift line. When I get to the top and start skiing downhill, I hear a voice from behind me (where said gal was) shout “show us what you got under that skirt!”.
Well, I did. While skiing downhill. About 50 yards from her.
When I finished my run, a big hairy guy comes up to me, grabs my jacket, and says “hey, pal, you just exposed yourself to my thirteen-year old daughter !”.
Behind him were Good Looking Gal and the girl, whom in fact had been the shouter. Trying their best not to giggle.
What am I going to say ? “Sorry, pal, I thought it was your wife who wanted to see my ass ?”.
Good news is that I was wearing my anti-ice-disaster shorts, and was having a good angry-dad-defusing day.
