I just performed minor surgery on myself (waaay TMI)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I don’t why I feel the need to share this, but I just have to tell someone. I developed a small nodule on my scrotum a few months ago. I let my dermatologist have a look at it and she determined it was a sebaceous cyst, which is not uncommon or dangerous. I could have had her lop the thing off, but I just never got around to it. Anyway, I’m home today writing a long and tedious treatise on the history of not for profit cemeteries and while readjusting myself I caught a feel of it, as I sometimes do. The thing annoys me. I just don’t like extraneous things on my body, be they hairs, skin tags, cysts, or other bodily minutia. I’m the lord of this manner and I decide who stays and who goes. So I said to hell with it, this thing is coming off today.

I sterilized my fine tip tweezers and cuticle scissors with some ketel one and a zippo. Then I shaved the area and swabbed it with alcohol. With some hesitation I gingerly cut away the thin lawyer of skin covering the cyst. There wasn’t much pain surprisingly. There wasn’t a terrific amount of blood either but enough that it was making visibility an issue. It took a few attempts but I finally managed to catch hold of the offending growth and carefully yanked it out. I dissected it to be certain it was in fact filled with sebum, which is a waxy, white substance, and sure enough it was. Satisfied with my effort, I cleaned up and slapped a band-aid on. I’m 15 minutes into post-op and so far the operation appears to be an unmitigated success.

I don’t know why. But, somehow the whole experience was… well, exhilaratingly. Maybe I should have been a surgeon.

2

I hope that’s not the only use you got out of it.

3

Did it smell?

4

I’m a pretty tough guy as things go, but I draw the line at operating on my own balls. That’s like Lee Marvin tough.

5

I cut off a good sized skin tag (on my side, under my arm) with cuticle scissors the other day. Stopped bleeding by the time I was out of the shower.

I think you win.

6

Couldn’t reach it with your teeth?

7

Pictures?

8

Oddly enough, I have one on my right sack. (or something like it, started as a big zit, and it’s fading).

I’d like to do the same, but though my balls are HUGE (documented fact, makes it tough to buy pants, and boy am I happy loose fit jeans came into style after the 80s), I don’t have enough balls to do the surgery myself.

I did do a self surgery on my hand years ago, during a period of no health insurance to remove a piece of glass. It was a triangular piece 3/8" long, 1/4" wide, and 1/4" high, stuck pointing upwards towards the tip of my fingernail, under the pad of my right ring finger. It had entered into my finger right at the first joint back from the tip (bottom side). A good tall glass of my buddy Jimmy Beam for courage/anesthesia, a sewing needle for leverage, and some alcohol (rubbing) to sterilize, and with a minimum of pain, it came right out. I didn’t realize how big it was, and had to remove it as it was getting in the way of my work.

9

Good thing you dissected it; I’m positive it would have grown into a hideous sac worm if you didn’t.

10

I’ve done the skin tag thing. I concur, they really don’t hurt and there is very little blood. Fingernail clippers work surprisingly well.

I also got annoyed with a ganglion cyst and performed my own “aspiration” a couple of times until it went away.

Kids…don’t try this at home.

11

I can’t believe this thread is here.

I did exactly the same thing last night, except:

  1. It was 3am
  2. I used Bombay Sapphire and a red plastic Bic
  3. It wasn’t on my scrotum but on my penis
  4. I wanted to make sure it could breathe so instead of putting on a Band-Aid I slathered the would in antibiotic ointment and slept au naturel
12

That, my dear, is the right spirit.

13

Anton Chigurh would be proud.

14

Hell, now you know that this means that the two of you have to fight to the death with a broken whiskey bottle to see who’s the crazier bastard, right?

15

I would, but I’ve got my hands full looking for the correct procedure codes to bill my HMO for services rendered.

16

Not to hijack the OP, but is it normal to for male patients to have a female doctor inspecting their balls?

What would you do if you had an erection during the process??

17

You did do the proper post-evacuation lavage to ensure that a progressive sloughing necro-fasciitis doesn’t set in, didn’t you?

Embarrassing if you didn’t…

18

I cut open and squeezed such a sebaceous cyst on myself once. It stayed gone nicely.

19

If you can get an erection while a disinterested person is examining your scrotum whilst muttering words like “cyst” and “sebaceous” and “cut”, than you’re a far better man than I. :wink:
(Or you’re 17.)

20

Pray she wore goggles.