My family does a lot of DIY surgery. Once though, my dad thought he was lancing a boil, found a ‘string’ in it, and pulled it out.
When the bleeding wouldn’t stop, he went to a doctor and found out that he had removed a four inch section of vein from his leg. The doctor, with good humor, said ‘I revoke your medical license! NO MORE home surgery for you!’
Hal’s Guide To Getting Rid Of A Very Stubborn Infection Brought On By A Hangnail:
[li]Invert a can of compressed air. Spray liquefied coolant onto infected finger.[/li][li]Use scalpel (cheap, throwaway model stolen during last doctor’s office visit) to slice open now numb finger at the location of the infection.[/li][li]Rinse pus out of finger.[/li][li]Pour hydrogen peroxide into wound.[/li][li]Bandage finger.[/li][li]Have a beer.[/li][/ol]
Yep…did all that two nights ago. kittenlmhates it when I go into the bathroom carrying a scalpel, but hey, my finger feels a million times better.
Long ago, when I worked at McDonald’s and had no money or health insurance, I had a wisdom tooth which was trying in vain to come to the surface. I was in agony for a few days, but one afternoon as I worked the drive-thru, I knew I just couldn’t take it anymore. I also knew the manager wasn’t about to let me go home, but I did manage to wheedle a bathroom break. I took the razor blade out of the boxcutter, sterilized it (more or less) with the flame of my cigarette lighter, and slashed my swollen gums open. Ahhh! Relief! Never had a bit of trouble with that.
Oh, man. I drooled over the “Suture and Surgery Kits” link, and then I forwarded to Mr. MercyStreet, who happens to be a med-school dropout. Here are Mr MercyStreet’s complete remarks: You’re NOT getting it! (I had one in college - those scalpels are naughty)
I may have to go behind his back on this one with the old “Deliver to Work Address” ruse.
Does anyone else remember the Daily Show interview with the guy who pulled out all his own teeth and replaced them with polished rocks from the yard? Apparently, he needed to have a crown put on one tooth, but couldn’t afford it. His homemade crown looked so good…
It was a couple years ago and I can’t find the link.
In retrospectapost, rock teeth are not nearly as good as pulling veins out of your own leg, but pretty creepy.
How do you guys think Vein Man compairs to the people who voluntarily amputate parts of themselves. Or this one pic I saw of a guy jerking off with one testicle hanging outside his freshly sliced scrotum.