As I sit here with bandaids on two fingers, wincing every time my left index finger hits an ‘f’ (ouch) or a ‘g’ (ouch), I’m reminded of just how dumb (ouch) I can b(ouch)e. You may think that you’re an idiot, but I’m a much bigger idiot than you are.
I’ve taken up woodworking as a hobby. This means all those woodworking tools have to be very sharp, so I bought a set of water stones for the purpose. So I’d made it through the plane blades and most of the chisel blades without incident, and was working on the 1/4" chisel when I noticed that my wiping cloth was turning red. I had managed to slice very thin layers of skin off the tips of my left index and middle fingers, which were merrily bleeding all over the place. What a fucking moron. With no skin flap to paste over the wounds, they’re both just open, screaming nerve endings.
So you may think you’re an idiot, but I’m twice as dumb(ouch) as you are.
I could have gotten myself killed in one of those “herp-te-derp-te-doo” moments when my brain completely shuts off.
I was trimming the hedges at my parents’ place with an electric hedge trimmer, got really, really into it, and managed to cut right through the extension cord. *Durrrhhhh . . . *. But that wasn’t all! I set down the trimmer, picked up the end of the plugged in cord, and touched the middle of the cord, right where the current should have been.
Turns out there’s a built in safety feature on extension cords that prevents them from transmitting current if they’ve been cut, which is the only reason I didn’t thoroughly electrocute myself.
Hannah Sabata posted a youtube video of herself saying she stole a car, had a bunch of weed which she shows and then claims she robbed a bank and holds up a huge wad of cash.
Now it doesn’t seem like the youtube video was the reason she got caught. They released the surveillance video of the bank and some tips came in saying it looked like her and they found the stolen car and a bracelet near the car that said, “I Love Hannah.” but one article I read said that the youtube video will be used as evidence.
When I was about eight or nine, my dad was re-roofing the woodshed. He said he would pay me a penny for every nail I removed from the old wood. I was working diligently until I came across a nail that just wouldn’t come out of the board. I was taping on it with a hammer, started tapping harder and harder, and finally, and this is important, took my hand that I was holding the wood down with to use both hands to bang on the nail.
When I woke up, my Dad was standing over me with a cold compress for the gouge/bruise on the side of my head, and I had a new found respect for physics.
I recall a fella coming to trim the hedge/trees at my parents’ place years ago, I warned him that there was an electric cable going from an ivy covered wooden electric pole onto the roof of the [single story] house through the hedge. He gave me that “shut up you stupid woman for I am a manly man and know what I am doing” look.
20 minutes later all the lights go out. Yup, he’d cut through the cable. Dunno how he didn’t electrocute himself.
I was nearly the victim of someone else’s stupidity, I was sharing a house with another gal, the boundary hedge was getting high and was supposed to be kept to a max of 5ft. Housemate hadn’t a clue about trimming a hedge, so I borrowed my aul da’s hedge trimmer thing and set to work on the hedge. I was (as per my father’s instructions) being very careful what I was doing, had the extension cord over my shoulder etc), I was hacking and slashing away when housemate decided to scream really loudly right in my ear that I was "going to cut your fucking legs off!!!"
I almost did cut my foot off, when I dropped the trimmer, jumping from fright. Thankfully I’d the sense to let go of the trigger, so the trimmers stopped instantly. I explained to her very s l o w l y that I’d already told her not to speak to, or tap my shoulder, while I was working. She insisted that I’d been swinging the trimmer like a madwoman and was very very close to cutting my legs off.
No. I. Wasn’t.
(this was one of a series of incidents in which she attempted to assert her authority -as the house owner- over me in a situation where I was doing something around the house/garden. I quit sharing her house not long after the hedge incident)
Least path of resistance, probably. The tool caused a dead short at the point of severance and tripped the breaker, which is what usually happens unless you’re extremely unfortunate.
I remember a carpenter in Vietnam who was working with a 10" circular saw. He became annoyed with the blade guard and unhooked the spring that returns the guard when you’re done with a cut. He forgot he’d done so, of course, and after one cut, he set the saw down, which then walked itself across the surface he was standing on, fell off the edge and landed on somebody’s foot. Penis ensued.
Too many stupid thing’s to count,I BET you I’m the bigger IDIOT!Infact thax for idea,just like those prayer’s of the day,mabey I’ll post 1 idiot thing Matt’s done for a 365 day calender.
When I was 18-19 we we’re partying on the roof of my school,and when everyone wanted to leave(walk to far end of roof)I thought it didn’t look THAT far down.Jumped.Foot broken.
Really? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. The cord might have a GFCI (ground fault interrupter) that got tripped, or you could have blown a circuit breaker, but I’ve never seen a cord that won’t transmit current if it’s been cut. Not even sure how that would work. Extension cords are pretty low tech – just copper in insulation.
I’m pretty sure that everyone who owns a hedge trimmer has, at one point or another, cut through the extension cord. I know I have.
The place where I plug in my blowdryer leaves the cord in my walking path. If I don’t unplug it and put it away immediately after I’m done, I will trip over the plug every single time. Every goddamn time. When am I going to learn?
In my job, I make site visits to homes, businesses etc. One one particular visit, I parked got out of the truck, and started walking towards the house when I noticed a drainage ditch on the house side of the sidewalk, with a runoff from the street. I deftly stepped over the runoff, and made a mental note to remember it was there.
As I’m returning to the truck (you can see this coming), I’m jotting down the last of my notes on the clipboard and yep, ass over teakettle tripping over the runoff. Didn’t get hurt except for my pride. I dusted myself off and berated myself “moron, you just told yourself to watch for that.”
Thankfully no one was around to see it. Lesson learned - I don’t write notes while walking anymore…
That time in summer camp when I was 20. We were cutting wood for the campfire with an wood axe. A guy who had the hots for me wanted to impress me with his woodcutting skills and told me to hold the block of wood with my bare hands, and he would take a big swing and split it right through the middle.
I didn’t.
But mostly because I didn’t have the hots for him. If I had been equally keen on impressing him, I might very well have been that mindnumbingly stupid, and I would have typed this with my chin.
My husabnd has, this summer. In fact, it is such a common thing that my Home Depot sells two part extension cords for electric trimmers. If you cut through the first short part, you don’t have to replace the entire cord.
Last weekend I had to pick up some groceries. After I was finished with my self-checkout I fumbled through my pockets for my car keys and couldn’t find them.
“Huh. Must have left them in the car,” I thought to myself. Off to the car I go: no keys. “Maybe I left them in the trunk when I was getting my bins/bags out?” Nope.
So, off to customer service. No one had turned in any keys. Backtracked through the store in every location I was in: no keys. Back to my car to look again: no keys. Back to customer service: no keys. WTF?
“Hmmmmm… I wouldn’t have thrown them in the garbage bin when I was clearing stuff from my car, would I?” I start rifling through the garbage can, but it’s 3/4 full, getting dark out and still no keys. One more trip into the store for a good look around the self checkout: no keys.
OK. I need to get a garbage bag from the store and start going through the garbage bin in detail. Back to customer service to get a garbage bag. So, here I am at almost 5:00 PM with the daylight quickly fading, standing outside the grocery store and taking individual pieces of banana peel, cups, plates, paper towels, tissues, bowls, you name it, out of one bag and placing them in another bag. Five minutes later, at the bottom of the garbage bag, bingo! My car keys. :smack:
What kind of an idiot throws his car keys in the grocery store garbage bin?
I know that in England, cords have (or had) built in fuses on the plug end. Perhaps that’s what he was referring to.
I wish I could learn that I can’t jump up from my computer chair to answer the door or to go get lunch whilst wearing my headphones. I’m surprised I haven’t ripped off the plug or torn the cord from the headphones. Idiot.
While in Cripple Creek, a city known for the burro population, I was a gentleman and walked inside of Mrs. Cad and told her that it was so that she would not be injured if a burro decided to step out of an alley and throw a jar of acid into her face.
