My 9 year old daughter and I were watching the 80s classic The Lost Boys the other day. (My daughter loves 80s stuff). I recall thinking how much younger the MOM looks from what I remembered (Dianne Wiest was 39 when the movie came out).
My wife’s uncle use to run a business in West New York decades ago near where we live by the Hudson River. He keeps asking me about various old industrial landmarks and whatnot. I’m like "dude, unless you are asking me about a 15 story modern condo building, I’m like 90% sure whatever you are referring to was either torn down or converted to condos years ago.
I helped a little old lady put her groceries in her car last month. It was an odd wake-up call to me – the realization that somewhere in there I still thought of myself as “young”.
I have no idea when I first realized I was old, but what really made it sink in was when I noticed that most of the commercials on the programs I watch are for Medicare/Life/Supplemental imsurance or medications for diabetes, heart disease, COPD, etc.
A while back I was buying a 50-lb bag of horse feed, and the young cashier asked me if I needed help getting it to the car. I’m no macho man, but I’m used to having to carry horse feed 200 yards. I politely told her that I thought I could handle it.
My late aged MIL chose to move from a conventional apartment to an apartment in a senior “independent living” facility at age 92. And bitched loud and long about all the old people there. Unlike her.
I once asked the manager about their demographics and she said their average age was upper 80s. Yep, dear old Mom was in the upper half of their demographic. Self-insight was never her strong suit. But this was enough over the top that was hard to not giggle whenever she launched off yet again.
Fast forward to now …
My GF’s Mom is 93. And also moved to a similar facility at age 92. In her telling all the other residents are senile decrepit near-deads. She OTOH is sharp as ever and, well, needs to sit down a lot but is otherwise fine. Just fine!
On a serious note this suggests that for all of us, our own judgment about our own condition will become increasingly suspect as we age. A wise person would take note of that now and start the habit of applying some discount to their own impression of their youth and mental & physical vigor. And slowly grow that discount over time.
You are what you practice. And if you practice denial, well, it’s only gonna get bigger and bigger until you’re living in Fantasyland.
Got an e-mail from college roomie last night asking about stereo equipment. He moaned about having to sell his Pioneer SX-828 stereo receiver years ago. He had it in 1973 and it served faithfully for years in our residence suite. He asked me about possible replacements.
Every receiver he suggested or asked about was manufactured before 1979.
This just in: physicists have identified the shortest unit of time that can exist. It’s the interval between, “I’ll need to see some proof of age, son,” and “did you know we have a senior discount?”
Yes, everyone is prone to some exaggeration of their abilities.
My point is entirely that the magnitude of exaggeration grows with elderhood. So whatever “discount” your smart self-judgmental self applies to your not-smart emotional self’s ideas about your abilities needs to be consciously increased as you get beyond age e.g. 70.
While it seems instead that for many people the discount goes away entirely and now their wobbly 80yo self is climbing ladders.
