Twenty two years ago,at my 30th high school reunion, I looked around and thought "What are my parents doing here?
The moving companies that specialize in transitioning older people out of big houses into smaller homes deal with this all the time. They may be a decent resource for you when it comes time to downsize.
You have to get brutal about it. Make up your mind as to what is important to you: stuff or a less stressful life. You can actually hire someone to have an estate sale in your home. Facebook marketplace is a good place to sell stuff, as is Craigslist. But first you have to be willing to part will all the crap that has accumulated over the decades. We got rid of a lot of stuff before moving into a senior living apartment building. It still wasn’t nearly enough, but it was significant. It was hard to part with my workshop, but fuck it.
We’re now in an apartment that is less than 1000sf. It’s cluttered, but livable, but my wife hangs onto “stuff” like grim death, despite my pleas to get rid of it. Leaving a mess for your heirs to clean up is selfish and it’s an expense that none of them should have to bear.
Groceries: if you’re in a city, pretty much every business delivers and often for free (like Amazon). If you move to this type of facility, I highly recommend going to one that is either in, or very close to, a city and not out in some bucolic setting like so many of them are.
Eh, we cleared out my mom’s place. Selling her apartment covered the cost of the guy who made everything go away many times over.
Working in tech makes it very stark. Back in the day, you showed up to work, you produced some software, if it works you go home. Nowadays everyone’s an influencer and a podcaster. The atmosphere is thick with bullshit and personal branding. There’s also this horrible cultural milieu where individual qualities and and preferences are elevated above all, but everyone has to work as part of a constantly-engaged group. I don’t know how to articulate it well, but t’s the worst of all worlds IMO.
I’ve realized that at least in the companies that are part of the Silicon Valley culture, this isn’t an aberration or a fad, it’s just how things are now. I don’t want my persona to be part of my work product, or to make “content”, so I’ll probably be getting out soon. Into what, I don’t really know.
Anyway, my point is that work culture has changed in ways that I’m increasingly unwilling and unable to keep up with. I want to point out that the way we used to do things was superior in every way, and it demanded less of your personal time or emotional investment, but things have moved on.
I dunno-- the phrase “I played pickle ball” kinda puts the “old dude” stamp on you right there.
Perhaps. But it is work. It takes a lot of moving and skill. Especially if you are not playing doubles. It’s a lot of court to cover. Try that.
Didn’t thing I would be insulted for being active at 65 years old.
Ding - ding - ding! That was exactly how I pictured her too. She was in such a rush to marry Sam, I thought, because she was tired of living in a little room at the Brady’s, and wanted a place of her own. I had no concept of “The Old Maid.”
As far as the women go, though, those salon hairstyles date people. My grandmother (b. 1917), had salon hair until the day she died. My mother (b. 1940) had salon hair for special occasions, until it fell out of fashion, and then she was glad to be done with it. I’ve never once had it.
Women like Donna Reed don’t look old with salon hair when they are under 35, because when she is under 35, she just doesn’t, but when you grew up with all the grandmothers having salon hair, and all the young women being hippies, it leaves an impression.
Salon hair = old.
We gave up the house a long time ago, once the boychik didn’t really need a yard anymore, but would benefit from a bigger city. DH worked actually closer to here, I could work anywhere.
We were so sick of the constant maintenance. Every. Single. Bloody-freaking-weekend, either something needed repaired, or there was a lot of yard work. Tree branches couldn’t touch the roof, according to our insurance agent, the lawn had to be mowed once a week, or we heard from the county.
We had well water, and if the pump and that whole system was working, then pipes, or a drain in the house needed replacing. Or we didn’t have enough outlets in a house that age-- or the right kind-- and needed to buy a new breaker for one of the unused lines on the box, and run wires to where we needed more power, install and wire the new outlet. Or the roof was leaking. I swear, it was more patch than roof. We even replaced a rafter (well, half of one). Things went wrong I didn’t know could go wrong. We once replaced the entire toilet. We replaced the kitchen linoleum. We replaced a door jamb.
I’m just now thinking, if I had to spend my weekends on that shit, I’d die. I used to used the weekends partly to go to services, but also partly for recreation. Now, a good half of each weekend is R&R from the workweek, and stress had better not happen.
We got out just in time.
I started during that during the pandemic, and I still do it, for one paranoid reason. and one practical one.
There was a shooting in Indy in one of the places we used to go to when we were farther south. Also, I have discovered that even with membership fees and tips, it’s cheaper, because it cuts out impulse buying: I do a lot less of it in the first place, and it’s easier to go through my cart right before I check out, and ruthlessly toss out what I don’t really need on a laptop, than it is to sheepishly go around a real store, putting things back.
They just said you sound old, i didn’t think it was meant as an insult.
That’s another good point, particularly with Alice; the Bradys all had hairstyles that were contemporary to the late '60s / early '70s, while Alice’s hairstyle was clearly that of the previous generation.
It wasn’t really an insult, and I’m not that much younger than you. I’m just pointing out that pickle ball isn’t necessarily the best example of a youthful pursuit. If you just meant that you are active, that’s fine.
I don’t know anything about pickle ball, other than that it is very popular with those AARP+, so I have no idea how strenuous it might be.
Fine. Pickleball is not just an old persons sport. I see plenty of young folks playing. It’s basically ping pong but you literally play on the table.
It just kinda bugged me. I’m retired, so ‘old’. But now besides walking my dogs, riding my bike and playing Pickleball I’m quite active. More than I’ve been in a long time. Because I have time. I’m not wasting it.
And clearly, I’m a little sensitive about the things I do saying I’m some sort of old codger.
Could you please reply to my pickleball thread, linked above?
Provide a link and I will.
Sorry, i thought it was visible right after Rivkah’s post:
That is both the upside and downside of having groceries delivered.
I did it during the pandemic, too. I remember one time the guy was walking up to my house with my bags and I said, “You didn’t by any chance surprise me with a package of M&Ms in one of those bags, did you?” Alas, he hadn’t. 
Now I go to the store in person because it’s one of my main recreations. Hehe.
I drove 100 miles each way to shop and buy groceries for my mom. Delivery was a god send for me.
I suppose as strenuous as you want it to be.
I used to be big into ping pong. Like wearing special shoes, and once putting my hip through a wall.
Now, one on one with my wife (she actually took a class and is teaching me), I’ll see a ball land cross court and say “Oh hell no, I can’t get to that” I have no desire to go to the hospital.
It may look like a slow game, but it can be very fast. Like other racket sports, you can have lobs and rockets.
Oh, it’s national pickle ball day. And some odd trivia, the first serve (in the US) starts in the NW court. That’s because it was invented in the state of Washington. Which is ‘mostly’ NW of all other US states.
I went to my 50th high school class reunion last night.
Despite all my complaints about how exhausting it can be, it can be fun going to one of my favourite upscale groceries just to pick up a relatively small number of specialty items (they have great prepared dinners, an extensive hot-food counter and soup stand, and a great meat and fish section) and even better visiting one of my favourite little delis. It’s picking up a massive load of common everyday commodities at a regular supermarket that’s literally killing me!
Driving to some of the places further away is also getting to be a chore. In my younger years I was a supremely confident, safe, accident-free driver. Today I’m more like a jittery old man. A friend of mine who is about my age got into an accident recently and totalled his almost-new car. It doesn’t help my jitters to be informed that, due to his age, he had to pass a driver’s test in order to keep his license. It also doesn’t help my jitters to be surrounded by reckless speeding assholes.