Yeah, but he’s a jackass.
Myself.
I used to have a goatee also, but like many do I tired of the upkeep. The tipping point was when it went white; I didn’t want to look that old.
During my single days I realized that when I just had a mustache people often assumed I was gay. That can be a problem when looking for female companionship. Since I’ve been married I’ve alternated between full beard and Van Dyke. I can only think of one guy I know with just a mustache. One friend had a Fu Manchu for a month or so, but he’s back to full beard.
Interestingly, there’s a picture at the bottom of this page advertising something, showing Einstein with a 'stache.
FWIW, my father started growing one right out of high school, and literally had one his whole adult life. I don’t especially like moustaches, but I never really “saw” my father’s, in a way, the same way I no longer see the burn scar on the side of my husband’s face.
my bother in law has a mustache
Gajillions. Or…how many men are there on the Chicago Police and Fire teams? 'Cause it’s practically obligatory here. Add in the Indian guys and the Iraqi/Assyrian guys and I’m sure a day doesn’t go by that I don’t see a mustache in the wild.
I can add my husband to the list, although I’m not particularly happy about it. He looked much better to me with a circle beard. Now he looks like a retired firefighter. Which…he is. But it’s his face, so he gets to decide that he likes the look of a dead baby weasel laying on his upper lip.
I go full beard in the winter. I’ll shave to a VanDyke in the next few weeks. I’ve gone to just a mustache off and on over the past 25 summers several times. I only learned there was a difference between a goatee and VanDyke in the past few years.
I haven’t been clean shaven since my honeymoon.
My former boss, but I left that job about a year ago and don’t have to deal with that fucking shithead anymore.
Yeah. MMM, my buddy from junior high.
It’s ugly.
Reader, I married him.
My dad. He’ll sometimes grow a beard, but he’ll eventually shave it off. But he never shaves his mustache.
Obligatory Monty Python reference:
George!
Yes Gladys?
There’s a man at the door with a moustache.
Tell him I’ve already got one.
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And then I learned that the human chin has the thinnest and most easily cut skin of all the vertebrates. I cut myself there nearly every time, dammit!
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Me, for the last 25 years.
Straight white man from NYC suburbs with absolutely no fashion sense, if it matters.
The main cohort of men I see on a regular basis are at the pool. This is during the weekday so there’s a bit of a selection process right there.
There’s a few regulars with mustaches. There are also of the rotund variety. (But note that they swim regularly so presumably in good shape.) Maybe mustaches look better on round faces???
The dude in the mirror has one!
Yes, me. 
At least at the moment. I let it grow from time to time, but don’t keep it for long.
I often wondered what orthodox Jews and “beard is mandatory” Muslims do when they’re like you and me. I’ve yet to see any with a dozen hairs hanging from their chin, so I guess they get an exemption.