I just saw a UFO

[tdn]

I was just outside, and I saw something in the sky that I can’t explain. Let me describe it to you: It was shaped like a disk, maybe half a degree in diameter. It just sort of hung there in one place. It was very bright, almost a yellowish color, but way too bright to look at directly. When I turned my face towards it, it had a warming effect. Oh yeah, and it wasn’t dripping water on me.

I have a vague memory of seeing something like that back in May, but it’s kind of hard to remember.

Any ideas what it might have been?

[gonzomax]

The sun. It is not inhabited.

[KRC]

I see that same one a lot. Keep clear of it–I went outdoors while that thing was in the sky and I got burned.

[muldoonthief]

@tdn

I was just outside, and I saw something in the sky that I can’t explain. Let me describe it to you: It was shaped like a disk, maybe half a degree in diameter. It just sort of hung there in one place. It was very bright, almost a yellowish color, but way too bright to look at directly. When I turned my face towards it, it had a warming effect. Oh yeah, and it wasn’t dripping water on me.

I have a vague memory of seeing something like that back in May, but it’s kind of hard to remember.

Any ideas what it might have been?

You’re just a big fat liar. There’s no such thing in Massachusetts. Don’t stir shit up by claiming things that aren’t true, or we’ll be by with torches & pitchforks.

[Shark_Sandwich]

@tdn

I was just outside, and I saw something in the sky that I can’t explain. Let me describe it to you: It was shaped like a disk, maybe half a degree in diameter. It just sort of hung there in one place. It was very bright, almost a yellowish color, but way too bright to look at directly. When I turned my face towards it, it had a warming effect. Oh yeah, and it wasn’t dripping water on me.

I have a vague memory of seeing something like that back in May, but it’s kind of hard to remember.

Any ideas what it might have been?

Is it still there, or did it pass behind some dark clouds?

[tdn]

@Shark_Sandwich

Is it still there, or did it pass behind some dark clouds?

It did. Maybe I just imagined it.

[TroubleAgain]

I’d be happy for more clouds to hide that big yellow UFO.

[MovieMogul]

@gonzomax

The sun. It is not inhabited.

That’s what the Sun Invasion Armada wants you to believe.

[John_DiFool]

The Men in Black want a word with you, tdn.

[cmyk]

It;s Dangerious@@@

I wrnt outsife and lookef direvtly at it with ny binpcilars. For seberal minures. I can;r see sjit! What;s happwning to ne@@???@

[tdn]

@John_DiFool

The Men in Black want a word with you, tdn.

Cool! I guess we have something in common, then. I want a word with Blondes in Bikinis. Since that particular UFO is around again today, that may have a chance of happening.

But today’s forecast calls for more rain. How… typical.

[VunderBob]

UFOs are real. We had one land in Cottonfield County, NC two weekends ago. Here’s the story as told in the MMP:

That must have been some killer weed, dude

Bear with me while I do the background development for a secondhand tale.

Last night, VWife and I went to the county Emergency Management planning meeting, where the various emergency departments and other interested parties meet to do disaster response planning. This was the first one for this year, and the topic for the night was hurricanes, naturally.

As a sidebar before I move on to the entertainment portion of this tale, I volunteered for a multi-agency swift water rescue team that’s being formed. VWife, of course, was not amused, but she never is. “I think you’re developing an adrenaline addiction.”

No shit, Sherlock?

Cottonfield County has just installed a state of the art 911 system, with recorded calls, a GIS database to map call locations, and once we get the grant for the transponders, the ability to map in real time the location of fire, rescue, and law enforcement vehicles within the county. Our first payoff with the new equipment happened last night.

It was the end of the meeting. Billy, the Emergency Management director said, “I apologize for the bad audio from my computer, but y’all have to hear this.” It started playing, and Lynette, one of the 911 dispatchers at the meeting, started oozing down in her chair.

Lynette: “Cottonfield County 911. What is your emergency?”

Caller: “Yeah, Hi. A UFO just landed in my yard.”

**Lynette: **“A UFO landed in your yard?”

Caller: “Yes ma’am. Landed right there in my front yard, and 3 little green men got out.”

Lynette: “What were they doing?”

Caller: “They were acting kinda hostile.”

Lynette: “Did you shoot at them, or something?”

Caller: “No, but I sicced my dog after them.”

Lynette: “What happened?”

Caller: “The dog bit one of them, and all three started fighting my dog. I had to help my dog out, so I started fighting them, too.”

Lynette: “Are you alright? Did you get hurt? Were there any weapons?”

Caller: “I’m OK, and so is my dog. I used kah-RAH-tay.”

**Lynette: **“Then what happened?”

Caller: “They all got back in their UFO and took off.”

**Lynette: **“Do you need the Sheriff or Rescue?”

Caller: “No. I just wanted to tell you a UFO landed in my front yard.”

Lynette: “I’ll let the proper people know.”

Caller: “Thank you.” <hang up>

Lynette got a standing ovation for keeping a straight face and refusing to laugh during the entire call. The dude must have gotten ahold of some reallllllly good weed that night.

But wait, there’s a kicker. After Lynette got home from that shift, she turned on the morning news. One of the stories reported by WVEC in Norfolk was that a UFO was spotted over King’s Mill in Williamsburg, VA, about 20 minutes after the call ended. That’s about 80 miles north of Cottonfield County. [cue *Twilight Zone *theme music]

I haven’t yet discussed making a flying saucer cake for the next EM meeting with VWife…

Epilogue, the following Saturday:

Cottonfield County news flash: the UFO guy from last week is presently leading 2 deputies in a chase. He’s riding a scooter, nekkid, and the deputies were called when he was standing in the middle of a semi-busy road naked, shouting, “Die Die Die!!!”

Unknown if he was wanting vengeance on the green men for giving him an anal probe.

Update: Nekkid UFO guy is in custody. We don’t know if he’s headed for the jail or the loonie bin. Probably both…