And I’m pretty sure I’m never, ever going to have children.
Ever.
While I’m sure that feeling will subside, this movie that I just saw on DVD has left a really, really powerful impression on me. I went in knowing that it would probably be sad, since it’s about a teenager’s life spinning out of control, but for the last 20 minutes I was on the verge of tears and now I feel something that I don’t often feel in movies that get me emotional… something akin to pain.
Give all the credit to Evan Rachel Wood, playing Tracy, for that. What an amazing performance out of someone so young. My youth was nothing like that depicted in the movie (I had the whole “struggling to belong” thing but it never went past that.), but I felt her character’s pain in a way that few, if any, movies have done.
All in all, it’s a painful movie, and that’s delivered very well not just from Wood, but also from Holly Hunter, who plays Tracy’s mom. And Nikki Reed, who plays Evie (the “bad influence” on Tracy) who also co-wrote the screenplay.
I was pissed that Scarlett Johannson didn’t get a Best Actress nod… I might be even more annoyed now that Wood didn’t get one, either.
I’d really like to know how parents, whose kids haven’t hit adolescence yet, felt about this movie. Really, it’s not for the faint-of-heart, and while, yeah, it can be pretty melodramatic, the acting makes it all seem very convincing, not at all over the top. Good job all around.
Too bad it’s probably one of those movies I can only bear to watch once.
I saw Thirteen shortly after it came out, so it’s been awhile, but I recall feeling stunned: about the subject matter, the writing, the fine acting, and yes, the emotion.
This movie, to me, was about adolescence and trying to find your niche, but also, as you mentioned, single parenthood.
It was also about growing up way too fast. I could relate.
My teenage years (long time ago)skittered on the edge of control, and it is frightening to realize later how close you can get to everything just going dreadfully, utterly wrong.
I have one boy who is finished with adolescence, and another in the middle of it.
With the first kid, we had a bit of that growing-up-too-fast stuff, and it was very scary.
My wife and I just watched Thirteen on Friday night. We have three girls, one is 11, another will be 9 on Tuesday, and the third is 3. Obviously, the subject of the film is one that’s pretty important to us.
The movie was a little scary in some ways. The idea of our daughters doing the things portrayed in the film is a little frightening, but we know that our home life isn’t nearly as chaotic or difficult as Tracy’s was. My wife are I are together and happy, and that’s not going to change. However, that’s not all the movie was about.
I think the movie was put into perspective to me by the fact that I recently read Mary Pipher’s book, Reviving Ophelia, which is (oddly enough) about teenage girls and many of the things they experience as they grow up in these times. Pipher’s book covers many of the things in depth that the movie at least touched on. Standards of beauty, for example, and the effects divorce and turmoil in the parents’ lives has on the children, and of course peer pressure. All were shown convincingly, and were not overdone.
I also like the way it portrayed the mother. The cliche would have been to show her as unloving or distant towards her kids, which she obviously wasn’t. She loved her children a great deal, she just didn’t know how to set limits for them on her own. This is accurate in many cases, from what I’ve read… Pipher’s book talks about most parents caring for their kids, but just not knowning where to draw the line on what behavior is acceptable. Most parents either set limits that are too strict (causing rebellion) or not strict enough (causing the child to try to find their own limits). The movie portrayed the mother as loving, but on the latter side of setting limits on behavior. She was too lenient, and the effects were clear. The line parents have to walk through adolescence is a fine one… my wife and I hope we have the wisdom to find it when we get there.
The father was, unfortunately, portrayed as a fairly stereotypical “absentee parent” jerk. He didn’t have time for his kids or his “old” family. I know that such fathers exist (in great numbers, sadly), but with the depth and care spent on giving the mother such a convincing character, I would have liked to see the father try a little harder too. Then again, where such fathers exist, they are part of the problem. So I guess that was fairly realistic too. Just disappointing because it’s very rare to see good fathers in this sort of film. As (I hope) a good father myself, it’d be nice to see them shown more often. I know they exist.
Perhaps the only thing that didn’t convince me in the movie was that all of these things (cutting, heavy drug and alcohol use, stealing, etc.) were happening to one girl in a four-month period. Certainly, I’m sure these things have happened to one girl at times, but the timeline and the chain of events seemed a little too convenient. I think it was reading the book that gave me that perspective; for most of the girls Pipher described it was some of these things, not all of them, that each adolescent girl was experiencing.
About the only thing the film didn’t do to Tracy was teenage pregnancy, which I was glad of. That step would have been all too predictable and cliched, and I think the film would have quickly gone down the road of the “Made for Lifetime” movies had that happened. I was glad to see that the filmmakers did not take that route.
Despite my minor quibble, I thought the film was very effective and well-made. It might have been a little better by not trying to jam so much into one character, but it was quite good all the same.
And, yes, a little firghtening. But also a little reassuring, because my wife and I know we’ll always be able to depend on one another when the work of parenting becomes too much for one of us.
If the subject of the film interests you, I highly recommend Mary Pipher’s book Reviving Ophelia. It gives a much more broad-based perspective on the issues the movie dealt with. Also, a sort of companion volume to that book, Sara Shandler’s compilation of adolescent girls’ letters and journal entries makes for illumintaing reading. That book is called Ophelia Speaks. The perspective of the film is that of one girl. The books tell the stories of many girls, and as such they are even more eye-opening. And perhaps a little more fair.
Apparently the screenplay is based on Nikki Reed’s real-life experiences (though in her life, she was “Tracy,” not “Evie”). I haven’t read any interviews though to see if all of those things happened to her, or if she borrowed from things that had happened to some of her friends, as well. Perhaps some of the DVD’s special features lend some insight to that. I’ll have to check them out.
One other thing I also liked about the movie was its depiction of peer pressure. Unlike government-sponsored anti-drug ads, peer pressure is rarely a case of people saying “you’re not cool if you don’t do this.” Ironically, peer pressure is mostly generated internally: The person wants to fit in and avoid ridicule, on both a conscious and subconscious level, so they do things that, in a vacuum, they would not do.
Also, as a male, I found it interesting how they showed Tracy’s brother as being involved in his fair share of deviant behavior (trolling the streets of Hollywood, smoking pot) but also showing considerable restraint and enough common sense to see that his sister was involved in things much more dangerous than he was doing. Sadly, and perhaps due to a lack of good male role models, he didn’t really seem to know how to be the protective older brother.
I’ve heard of Reviving Ophelia and I’ve wanted to read it for some time… isn’t there also an equivalent book about teenage boys, as well?
You may be thinking of Raising Cain, which shows up on my Amazon Recommends list a lot (probably since I bought Reviving Ophelia there as well). Since I don’t have any boys, I don’t have as much of a vested interest in that one, but I may read it eventually, just out of curosity.
Normally, an independent movie with great reviews will have me running to the theater, but i can tell you that i have absolutely no desire to see this movie.
why? because i already lived it.
But what is a movie like that worth without shock value? It’s just like most teenagers lives but without all the funny stuff and it’s not about me or anyone I know so I don’t care as much.
Kids really got to me because of the rape and the spread of HIV. I lived through everything else in most of these kinds of movies and Kids made me realize how close I was to those two horrible things.
[sub]Let me just clarify before the fact that I have never and would never even think about raping someone. What I’m saying is that I’m grateful that no one from the crowds I used to run with did it either.[/sub]
I haven’t seen either movie yet, but they strike me as kind of a modern “Reefer Madness”. “Look what your wicked kids are off doing when you aren’t looking!”
I’m also amazed at how with a slightly diferent take on the same subject matter you get “American Pie” or “Dazed and Confused”.
Wow, I never thought about that before but it makes sense. Read what I said earlier about movies like Thirteen and Kids being like real life except without all the funny stuff.
Maybe that’s why I like movies like Dazed and Confused better. Take all the fucked up stuff, add in some humor and the sense that they’re just kids and they most likely will get better with age, and you got yourself a pretty good and fairly realistic movie.