For those of us growing up in the suburbs in the '50s and '60s, back in another century ;), I think part of it was the way the culture actively encouraged parents to appear asexual. I mean, can you imagine Ward and June Cleaver doing the wild thing? Neither can I.
And while neither your parents nor mine were Ward and June, people take cues from their culture, without even thinking about it. At the time of the so-called “Sexual Revolution”, it was often said that the kids coming of age then felt that they were the first generation to discover sex. There was a reason for that: our parents’ generation had practically rendered sex invisible.
So IME, I was part of a generation of kids who really felt like their parents had had sex just often enough to conceive them. I’m sure there were exceptions, but a lot fewer than in generations since, I’ll bet.
Scotti, try as I might, I cannot write here how I found out my parents still enjoy each other, but I really am glad they do.
Here’s a tip to all the parents of young children on the board. When my brothers and I were very small, my parents established a very simple custom. At about 7:00 on weekend mornings, one of them would take two cups of tea upstairs. After that, their bedroom door would remain locked for about 2 hours. They were not to be disturbed under any circumstances short of bloodshed, and possibly not even that until they emerged after that cup of tea was brought up. I was in my 20’s before I realized what they may have been up to then. Oh yes, they also added a modification once we got old enough – one of us brought them the tea, knocking and leaving it outside the door unless invited in.
Of course you can, every other show June was saying how hard Ward was on the Beaver last night…
Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Scotti what a great story. Smiles all around. So, you a rubber-baby too? My mom was 40 when she had me, dad slightly older. I walked in on them once, but I just turned around and walked back out. Didn’t seem like a big deal to me. But they were under the covers, it might have been different if I had actually seen something worth scooping my eyeballs out for.
Hey, I recognize that attitude, and I was born in '69. Anything between the hips and knees was referred to as Down There, and not discussed at all unless it involved a visit to the doctor or a scolding. (The scolding could be either for insufficient hygeine, or for touching oneself for reasons not connected to hygeine. The rules were complicated.) Many years later my mother admitted that she had real trouble when it was obvious my older sister was starting puberty. She had been terrified when her period started, and got no help from her mother at all. No daughter of hers was going to go through that. On the other hand, she couldn’t bring herself to bring up the topic. Her solution, after much agonizing, was to order a “teaching kit” from one of the sanitary pad companies, complete with a booklet I still remember for its earnest hokeyness: “Growing Up and Liking It”. She tried, she tried!
My father wasn’t even that involved in explaining the facts of life. Not that he wasn’t involved in our lives in many other ways, but sexuality was not a topic he was willing to touch in front of the kids.
So is it any wonder my brain refuses to accept that these two did the wild thing for fun? No, no. They had sex four times, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
An excellant year to be born, I must say.
*Aenea, who was also born that year.
Jkayla, and RT, whilst I blush at the compliments and thank you for them, neither one of you has had to live with me.
RT, you were there when I was giving a mutually-known poster some well-deserved shit. Almost everyone there frieked out over it, and I was not even actually angry or upset with that fellow, I just felt very strongly about what I was saying to him.
Now imagine living with me. See why I’m likely to stay single? What sane guy wants a woman like that?
When I was I think 11, I…well, I didn’t walk in on my parents, but it was like this.
My parents were highly dysfunctional. Not loving at all. They weren’t prudent by any means, but their sex life had to be practically non-existent. Well, it was a hot July or August night, and I was sleeping downstairs. I went back up to my room for something, and as I passed my parents’ room (door was open, but bed not visible from doorway), I heard my mom say, “Where’s Rilchie?”
“Downstairs.”
“[pause]Ouch.”
I slunk downstairs without whatever it was I’d gone up for, hating myself. It wouldn’t have been an act of love between them, but a simple need to satisfy their basic sexual urges, most likely brought on by the fact that it was a sultry evening. “God knows when’s the last time they’ve done it,” I thought miserably, “and I almost ruined it. I probably DID ruin it, for my mom.”
I think I forgave myself a few years ago.
BTW, I wonder about these parents who have sex toys and manuals that are found by their kids. Do the parents really use them? Mr. Rilch and I have a sex manual to which we’ve never referred; it just sits there in the closet. A female friend has the same manual, and AFAIK, it just sits in her closet. The last time (or was it the time before?) my parents moved, my mom found, among my dad’s stuff, some hardcore magazines, years out of date and still sealed in their bags. “Eh…you can chuck those out…” he muttered when she asked him. So perhaps one shouldn’t be so quick to assume that Mommy actually uses that vibrator!
I’m sort of in the same boat as Toddly. I never caught my parents because they rarely ever had sex. My dad confided in me (God knows why) that they hadn’t had sex in 10 years, and it likely wasn’t all that frequent before that based on what I observed of their relationship. Now they don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore and barely speak to each other. I’m worried they are going to stay like this until one of them dies.
Not saying that this applies to your parents…but when Mr. Rilch and I were visiting his mom over Xmas and New Years’, he slept in his room and I had the guest room. Not because we’re estranged, but because his room in that house still has the twin bed from his childhood. He can barely fit in it; forget both of us!
We always do that when we visit, and the first time this happened, his mom said, “Is there something wrong between you two?..I don’t care if you sleep together!” Finally Mr. Rilch enlightened her: “Mom, sex doesn’t take all night!”
Oh man… I never walked on my parents. I would have been blinded. Yuck! It is not the idea of older people having the time of their life a la Golden Girls, I am all for that, it is my parents… my parents DO NOT DO THAT. They NEVER did… shuddup… all of you!
Heck yeah! I got quoted! And thank you, Bearflag, for finding that thread and exposing me to the horror all over again.
Oh and I have a story to add too, its kind of relevant to the thread. My friends mom saw their dog coming out of her son’s room. “Sasha, what’s that in your mouth?”, she said. Yes, it was a used condom. BLECHHHH!
Once when my daughter was about 15 she walked in on us in the afternoon. She was wanting to argue about something. (I forget now)
Since I worked midnights, it was not unusual for me to be in bed at that time. The only problem was she thought I was in bed alone cause my head was on my pillow and she couldn’t see her daddy who was uhm facing the foot of the bed. We froze when she walked in and the conversation went something as follows.
Me: Don’t come in now
She: I want to talk now. Why can’t I go with Sherry and …
Me: Go away! Not now!
She: Sure you never want to talk. Where’s daddy?
Me: Uhm, he’s busy.
She: Doing what? I didn’t see him outside.
Me: GET OUT OF THIS ROOM AND GET OUT NOW!!!
She: You mean? :smack: God! How can you two stand each other? :stomps out of room: