No, not sex with your parents, try Incestgrrrl for that, you perv. I mean your parents having sex with each other. We all know they do it, and yet most of us try to pretend they don’t. What are your stories about talking about or interupting your folks in the act? Here’s mine:
T’other day I was over there, and they were giving me my mail. ( 16 years since I lived there, and still some of it comes there!) The top piece was junk mail- said in big letters. " MEN, INCREASE YOUR STAMINA AND POTENCY IN BED" Jokingly, I held it out to my dad “You want this, dad?” My MOM immediately pipes up, “Oh, he dosen’t need it.” ewwwww! TMI, mom, TMI!
A couple months or so ago, I was up until 1 in the morning. I was getting ready for bed, so I didn’t have the TV or the radio on. But I kept hearing this really loud noise, weird noice. I didn’t think anything of it, figuring it was something outside.
So, ten minutes after it started, I could still hear it, and I was in bathroom when Jaime stuck his head in the door and said, “Hey, can we do what your parents are doing?”
Me (completely innocently): What are my parents doing?
Jaime: You don’t hear that?
Me: Uh…hear what?..Oh my GOD! No it’s not!
Jaime: (laughing) Yes it is.
15 minutes later, it was over. That was the longest 30 minutes of my life.
You guys are all wusses. I went to Hawaii for a week with my parents when I was in college. We were watching a movie on video one afternoon, and I explained to them the significance of a tie hanging from the doorknob of a dorm room. Later I went into my room to change my clothes, and when I came out, there was a sock hanging from my parents’ doorknob, and giggling coming from inside the room.
I went to the beach without them. My dad made a point of explaining later that he didn’t bring ties with him on vacation, so they had to improvise. Thanks for sharing. :rolleyes:
Not too long ago I was home visiting, it was fairly late, and I went out to take the night air. And while I couldn’t see much (thank God) I could see enough to realize…,MY MOTHER WAS GIVING HER BOYFRIEND A BLOWJOB IN THE BACK YARD!!!
Good old Mom. God bless her. Due to her inspired example I fully intend to go on having reckless sexual escapades well into my fifties- even longer, don’t get me started on my Grandmother. But I’ll try not to have them when my kids are visiting.
Well, I am not sure if this quite counts, but one time I was out to dinner with my parents and I was talking abou thtis baby I used to sit for. I was talking about how, thanks to this kid, I knew the names and colors of all the Tellitubbies. I said, “Poe is red, Lala is yellow, Dipsy is green, and Tinki Winki is Purple.” To which my father replies, “My ‘Tinki Winki’ is purple”
DDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD!!!
That must be on the top ten things I had hoped to never hear coming from my fathers mouth.
As I parent who used to have to endure the sounds of my son masturbating in his early teen years (with the door open, mind you, when his room was closest to the bathroom), I think it’s only fair that his view of his mother as a perpetual virgin should occasionally be shattered…loudly.
I remember the first time I ever KNEW they were having sex. I was watching tv, got tired, turned off the tv and my sister jumped on me. She whispered loudly to turn the tv back on because Mom and Dad were having SEX! We then giggled so loud it ruined my parent’s sex that night. Mom got even years later but that’s another story!
My folks are so uptight about sex, I’m surprised they reproduced at all!! I’d be willing to bet that the concept of sex for pleasure is abhorrent to them, based upon “the talk” that Mom had with me eons ago. And since they haven’t shared the same bedroom in some time…
When I was 12, my parents rented a beachhouse for a week for vacation. One night very late, I went downstairs for a drink of water and the door to my parents bedroom was open. My dad’s bare white moonlit ass was moving up and down on top of Mom! Ewwww! I went back upstairs and told my 11-year-old brother that they were having sex. He wanted to go see, so, in a fit of early maturity, I told him I was just kidding. You’re welcome, Mom and Dad!
My parents have had sex exactly five times - one to conceive me and my three sisters…and the time we walked in on them having sex.
My older sister took my younger sister and I out for ice cream, to a shop about five blocks away from our house. Instead of staying in the un-air conditioned ice cream shop, we decided to walk back home and eat the ice cream on the way. We must have walked in very quietly, because my parents didn’t hear us enter and left their bedroom door wide open. Burned into my memory is the image of my dad’s scrawny white ass and my little sister’s bewildered “Uh…Mom?”, and then Dad’s “Oh shit!”
My cohabiting boyfriend and I close and lock the door when we’re sexin’ just to avoid any such embarrassments with my son. It’s the least I can do.
A few years ago, my mother took me out to lunch for my birthday, and happened to mention that I was conceived during a little unprotected encounter after Dad had a few drinks at a New Year’s Eve party. I guess I should have known, considering that my birthday is September 29th…which would be as near to exactly 9 months after New Year’s Eve as you can get.
I, of course, cringed and voiced the TMI objection…but that didn’t stop her from telling me on another birthday of mine that she remembers the event very vividly…and then proceeds to ask me if I remember that old orange sofa we used to have. Ewwwwwww…glad we don’t have that around anymore!! Ick ick ick!!
About a month ago I was discussing my wedding plans with my father.
Dad: “Who is going to measure the girls for their dresses?”
Me: “Probably Mom. I’m sure she could handle it.”
Dad: “I don’t know. I’ve been telling her for 19 years that this…“Holds up fingers an inch apart”…is 6 inches. I think it’s messed her all up.”
So, how do I respond? Do I blush? Do I say in a shocked tone “DAD!”? Do I look away and pretend I didn’t hear it? No. I laugh, very loudly. As a matter of fact, just typing it is making me laugh. It’s one of the funniest things I have ever heard, to tell you the truth.
Not MY parents, so it had to be the parents of one of my best friends.
Roland’s family graciously asked me along on a their family vacation at a cabin near a lake.
I was fourteen, I think, and saw Roland’s mom (a busty, shapely German woman) getting a royal going over by her husband.
In my vivid imagination, I’d have been the one give her more pleasure than her hubby could, 'cuz he was a “smaller fellow” than I. LOL!
