I have the pleasure of living with my parents. Now my parents are nice people, I love them, but I really really want to move out. This is one of the reasons why.
Last night a friend and myself went out to eat. A female friend. We decided to rent some movies and head back to the house and watch some movies in the den. And no, I wasn’t just looking to get some. So anyway, when we walk in the door I do the obligatory “Mom, dad, I’m hooooome” thing. No response. I figured they were asleep. So we go out to the den and start preparing the movie, I’m about to put in some popcorn when I hear it.
“Thud thud thud thud thud”. The house is practically shaking. I turn to my g/f and ask her “do you hear that? What on earth is it?” She says she has no idea. It takes me about 15 seconds, and then I realize what is going on. I thought maybe I could shrug it off and she wouldn’t figure it out, but then my mom starts to ::harumph:: encourage my father on. Loudly. I don’t think I’ve ever gone so red before in my life.
This carried on for a solid 10 minutes. They must have started right before we got home and just really got into it and didn’t hear me say I was home.
That was, without a doubt, the most embarassing to ever happen to me. Not only was it highly disturbing for me, but the girl I was with is highly baptist. Very very religious. I’m not sure who was more embarrased, her or myself. I don’t think I’ll ever be seeing her again.
Has this kind of thing ever happened to anyone else?? I don’t think I’ll ever recover. And don’t tell me it’s healthy and blah blah blah, I know. Just because they do it doesn’t mean I have to know about it.
[brief related story]
I just moved into a new apartment in September. One night as I was sitting in the living room I heard similar banging coming from the apartment above. Our living room is beneath their bedroom.
wham, Wham, WHAM
I groaned and turned to my girlfriend. “South Park is on in 5 minutes, I hope that we can hear it!”
“It sure doesn’t sound it, huh?”
wham …then silence
The whole thing took about 20 seconds.
It happens about twice a week and never takes longer than a minute. Once was when my mom was over. She just rolled her eyes. I have a really cool mom. [/brief related story]
Well, If I were the guest I would have been horribly embarassed, but I would have thought it was funny too. So, I guess that my advice is just don’t be overly mortified, because it may not be as bad as you think.
College dorm. Spritle hears a puppy yelping from a nearby room.
Spritle sets off in search of room to make mental note to bitch slap moron who leaves puppy in room.
Spritle happens to the room 5 doors down and is about to knock on the door when he realizes that it’s not a puppy after all. Puppies don’t scream “Oh, Rich!”
Spritle retreats to his own room and minds his own business.
(Spritle later tells everybody on the floor that Rich’s girlfriend is a screamer.)
As far as Spritle’s parents go, they did it twice - Spritle and his sister. That’s it. Positive.
Well, I understand the embarrassment - but no matter how highly Baptist she was… unless your parents aren’t married to each other, or unless there were more than two voices coming from the room… I don’t see how husband and wife making love comes across as remotely sinful.
Whoever said anything about sinful? I was just saying that chances are she’s never run across anything like that before (I’VE never run across anything like that before). It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if it was like “Oh, my parents do that all the time, don’t worry about it.” But she was quite obviously mortified by it. Not unlike myself. We did the best to just ignore it, but it was impossible. I’m just saying now it’s going to be so embarassing that future interacting is going to be marred by this experience. I know I’m not going to be able to look at her again without cringing in embarrasment. Mostly it was the walls shaking and the screaming. I’m going to be scarred for life, I know it.
It would have been a lot MORE embarrassing—especially with Betty Baptist sitting there—if, in the middle of all that, your Dad had walked into the house and said, “Honey, I’m home!”
Wow. There’s nothing to set your skin crawling like knowing for sure that your parents get it on. Just makes me feel all weird–and not that good way.
I remember when I was staying with my parents for a few months after I was married and had two kids (I was helping with my gramma), and my mother asked if I would be going back to my home for the weekend. When I said I wasn’t sure, she told me that she thought I should–that she and my dad loved me and the grandkids, but that my dad need some ‘alone time.’
I wouldn’t have gotten her drift (I’m a dim bulb), but then she raised her eyebrows—once, and very slowly. Being the mature person I am, I immediately burst into laughter.
Needless to say, I went home every weekend from then on.
My dad was always in a much better mood. The old rascal.
I heard my parents bed hitting the living room wall one night. My dad was working night shift (10-7) at the time and he would lay down from 8:30-10:00 everynight before work. My mom would “lay down” some nights and I never thought much about it until I heard the wall thumpin’. My mom came out a while later and went to the bathroom and then came out and sat down on the couch in the living room. I looked at her and asked, “So, how was it?” OMG, if looks could kill. Come to think of it, she never did answer me.
It didn’t embarass me or anything but if one of my friends had been there it probably would have. Parents aren’t supposed to have sex. If they do, you aren’t supposed to be there when they do it and you sure as hell aren’t supposed to hear it! I feel for ya romanticide.
On a related note, I once heard my teenage brother…um…in the shower…um…masturbating. I got as far away from that bathroom as I could when I realized what the noise was. I’ve never told him and I never will, but some things I REALLY don’t want to overhear! Like, in theory, yeah he’s a horny teenager. But…yikes!
Well sex in my parents house has never been an issue because my parents are extremly affection in front of each other. We always knew they were doing it. We also knew why we always bought “split plan” houses.
My husband on the other hand is convinced wthout a doubt that his parents have had sex EXACTLY 3 times. Once for each kids. He sure it was very quick and there was no screaming or enjoyment involved. He has never seen them do anything more than a quick peck on the cheek.
I don’t buy it. They used to be bikers. They are very much in love with each other. nothing is better than describing what they probly do now that he had moved out.
Somewhat related story–a friend of mine wimpers like a puppy whenever he’s hurt because he thinks it will make people help him quicker. Like once he was drunk and fighting this guy and then he just starts wimpering, and it worked; everyone came over to drag the guy off him.
Yeah, I got woken up last Sunday morning by that very thing. Trouble was, the noise wasn’t BANG BANG BANG.
It was bangbangbangBANGbangbangbangBANG going so fast I honestly started worrying that my dad was going to give himself a heart attack. And it was loud (no going back to sleep). And it went on for twenty minutes.
You know, I’m really glad for my parents that they still get to share that kind of intimate joy. I just don’t want to hear about it.
Especially when they’re getting it WAY more often than I am.
How about a story from the other side of the bedroom door?
Sex isn’t for night time just before you go to sleep, although that’s nice too. Afternoon sessions are quite nice. At least they USED to be that way.
So me and hubby are having some alone time together mid-afternoon. Later that evening I’m cooking supper and our ten-year-old daughter comes in. Every time she looks at either of us she starts giggling. She can barely contain herself. I asked her what was so funny. She said that her and a friend had been sitting on the porch earlier that day playing with the cats. Yeah, so what’s so funny about that?
Mom, your bed is right up against the window on the porch. I was starting to think that the curtains were going to fall down.
You have no idea how many times hubby and I have heard the mailman drop the mail off during alone time. EEK!
When I was a teen, I invited a classmate over to study for calculus together, since we got out at noon, and she didn’t want to go home. My parents worked opposite shifts, so I guess they took advantage of any free time in the afternoon that I was not home! Anyhow, when I got home, I expected my mother to be in bed since she worked 3rd, and that my father wouldn’t be home yet. We walked in, headed for the kitchen, and low and behold, right there on our dining room table were my parents naked as the day they were born! I was mortified! Imagine having to deal with the fact that your parents were capable of being so kinky, let alone having to have meatloaf at the same table for Sunday Dinner!!! Needless to say, I swore my friend to secrecy, and we started studying at the library after that!!!
Sassy you have guts…or something. If that had happened to me, I think I would have turned, ran, and not stopped running until I reached the border…in this case, its better to hear and not see…
I’ve occasionally heard what sounds like the squeaking of the bedsprings at my house…Sigh…I try not to think about it…
I remember hearing my parents having sex (their bedroom was next to mine and the walls were thin — they were doing it quietly, but I still heard them squeaking), and being very pleased that they still had a sexual relationship. I’d started worrying that they weren’t having sex any more.
Although, if I’d seen what Sassy saw, my reaction would have been more “Run AWAY!” than “Aww, how sweet.”
