I never caught my parents having sex, or even been in a situation where I suspected they might be having sex. I guess they stopped doing it after I was born.
My family would always go to Atlantic City (NJ) for vacation every year. Every morning, my father would make up the name of a newspaper, and send me out with my sister to walk the boardwalk to find it. I don’t think I actually caught on until I was too old to go on vacations with my parents.
My dad used to work a night shift job (10 p.m. - 7 a.m.) and he would lay down about 7:00 each night to sleep for a couple of hours before going to work. One night (I was about 15 I think), he went to bed and about 20 minutes later my mom left the living room and went into the bedroom. I didn’t think anything about it at the time because she’d gone to bed that early before… no big deal to me. Well their bedroom was behind our living room wall and I could hear their bed knocking up against the wall. It lasted for about 10 minutes and then my mom came out of the bedroom in just a t-shirt and went to the bathroom for about 10 minutes before coming back into the living room. I just looked at her and asked, “So, was it good for you mom?” She gave me a really dirty look and didn’t say anything.
I firmly believe that my parents don’t have sex anymore. My dad’s had back problems for many years now and I just can’t imagine (nor do I want to imagine) my mom being on top! I don’t think my mom views sex as fun but as a “thing men want so we better do it just to keep them happy.” She didn’t know what a blow job was until the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal and even then I had to explain it to her!! :eek: She was disgusted and said, “I can’t believe she was sucking on his penis!” Guess my dad doesn’t know what he’s been missing the past 36 years he’s been married to my mother. Poor guy.
When I was about 3, I was crying one night and woke up my mom, who realized she was ovulating. She got me back to sleep and then went to conceive my little brother.
In my house, there’s a heating duct between my room and my parents’ room that has a grate opening to both, so there’s essentially a whole in the wall between us. So, I’ve heard them going at it a few times. But I was able to get them back when I started having sex.
My mom is a sex educator, so she’s stood in front of my class and demonstrated contraceptive foam by rubbing it into her hands like it was lotion. It’s tough going when your mom is the Sex Lady.
I’ve never witnessed or even heard anything from my parents (thank God). However, a couple of years ago I was home visiting for Christmas. My mom and I were chatting, and while we talked, I helped her change the sheets in their bedroom. I picked up a pillow to take off the case, and laying on the sheet I saw… a tube of KY jelly. I went on talking as if nothing had happened and moved it to the nightstand. My mom blushed a thousand shades of red offered to “trade sides.” So we did.
My Dad split shortly after I was born, and Mom never got remarried, so I never had to suffer the indignity of walking in on my parents (Thank God).
However, I was talking to my fiance a few weeks ago about this very same subject. Keep in mind he is #4 of 5 and the only boy (Can you tell they were trying for the boy?). I kept going “ewwww, gross!” and he laughed at me. He said “What’s the big deal? They had to do it to become parents, didn’t they?”
Weird how he was OK with his parents (they gave me lingerie for Christmas) having sex, but I wasn’t, huh?
I know that my parents still do it. Every Sunday morning, in fact. I have sometimes heard giggling and whispering and I’m fairly sure that they in the act, or about to begin.
I’ve never walked in on them, but my sister had an icky experience:
She (my sister) was about 17 or so, and had some friends over. One of them had snuck liquor into the party, and my sister was completely smashed by the time my mom came to bed (my dad had fallen asleep on the couch that night). My sister was being a really lousy drunk (yelling at everyone, generally being a pain). So my mom said, “I’ll deal with you in the morning about being drunk, but for now, come sleep in my room and let everyone else sleep in peace.” The next morning, my sister woke up and noticed some interesting stains on the sheets. ewwww!
Not a sex story, but the most embarrassing thing I ever heard my dad say:
Dad’s best friend has a really beautiful wife. We were at a party, and my dad was telling a cousin of mine that his friend would be arriving soon with his gorgeous wife. So my cousin says, “Really? She’s that hot?” And my dad says, “I’ll put it this way: She’ll come, and then you will.” Gross!
I never ever walked in on my parents. I even would not believe my brother and sister-in-law when they tried to convince me and I was like 14 years old at the time. Now that I’m a parent, I’m still trying to figure this out. I’m convinced they never did after I was born. My dad worked 3rd shift and my mother falls asleep at 9 PM. They just couldn’t have possibly. I don’t know how any of us were conceived in the first place.
Normally we lock our door securely so nothing like that happens. One time however the kids (8 and 3) were watching TV downstairs. We were just goofing around in bed, still had our clothes on. If we had heard them come up the stairs, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. But we didn’t and so now the door gets locked even when we still have our clothes on. I still wonder what they thought of what they saw, but they didn’t ask or act like it was any big deal, so I don’t bring it up.
No personal stories. I had an ex-GF who insisted that she and her brother were conceived with a turkey baster, and that her parents had never had sex.
Of course she was joking (I hope), but I still didn’t get it. When you talk about gross factor, I think the turkey baster wins hands down:
Dad masturbates into a plastic tube;
A bulb is placed over the tube;
The tube is placed in Mom’s vagina;
The bulb is squeezed and Dad’s semen is squirted into Mom’s vagina. :eek:
This is less icky than the idea Maw and Paw got down and dirty? 
Sua
I’m puzzled. Why is this a big deal or why is there any eewwww factor here?
It’s sometimes difficult to imagine my uptight mom actually doing anything, (I have three middle-aged siblings and my mom still lowers her voice to say anything on the subject), but I can’t see where it would have bothered me to know they were still enjoying sex. I was a teen before I realized why there was a chair propped against the inside of their bedroom door every Saturday morning, but it didn’t bother me to figure it out.
(I admit that walking in on them would have been embarrassing.)
Am I the only one who is trying to figure out who Jamie is in Pepperlandgirl’s story is?
I never walked in on my parents but I heard giggling coming from the bedroom frequently. Or sometimes my mom would be in the shower and my dad would just go and join her. I was the youngest of six so I guess by then they didn’t care if the kids knew.
Also when I was a youngster Happy Days was a very popular show and my bother and I used to comment how our parents were still ‘frisky’.
Jamie is PLG’s fiancee. In fact, if I’m not totally nuts, the wedding is real soon. PLG, help me out?
OK I just didn’t know. I’ve been gone for a bit but I was just wondering.
I don’t get the ‘ewww’ factor either. Is this is a female thing? I didn’t notice if the ‘ewww’ posters were male or female.
My dad split when I was two, but my mom had her share of boyfriends over the years. We always knew when they were doing it, but our response was, ‘oh jeez, there go the crazed weasels again.’ No gross-out factor here.
My daughter seems okay with the thought of her almost newlywed mom having sex.
Last Sunday morning, the phone rang about 8 a.m. We (hubby and I) let the machine pick it up, and it was my daughter, “You guys aren’t up yet? Ron! Get off my mother!”, and then giggles.
My mom & dad never had sex. They “took naps,” though. :rolleyes: I caught them napping once or twice. Embarassed me, but didn’t scar my psyche or anything.
Then once, when I was about 12, my mom & dad went on vacation, and my brother and I were staying with my aunt & uncle. My uncle went in to the bedroom, and my aunt asked me if I could keep an eye on my cousin, who was then a toddler, because she and my uncle wanted to “take a nap.” I said “Nap? Oh yeah. My mom & dad take naps, too.” I smiled and winked when I said it, too. Heh. She turned about a hundred shades of red, then she just laughed and went in to the bedroom. And they came out about an hour later, tussled but happy-looking. 
I haven’t ever walked in on my parents. They haven’t even slept in the same bed for years. My brother and sister were concieved when I was 2 and 5, respectively.
Last summer, though, my mom was driving me to the optometrist. Somehow, we got on the topic of sex. She had said that if I ever become pregnant before I get out of HS (not that I would), she would be delighted to take care of my kid, because she adores babies and misses having them around the house.
(Now for the gross part.)
Then, we arrive and park the car. Before getting out, she gives me this piece of advice: “When it’s good, it’s really really good, but when it’s bad, it’s horrible!”
Mommmmm! Ewwwwwwwwww!
Reverse Twist:
I never surprised my parents engaged in joyful bonding, but my son gave me a bad moment one night when we were convinced he was sleeping soundly upstairs. As our bliss was nearing fulfillment, I heard a voice at our open door asking if I knew where the Foxfire book is. He got a pretty good image of his mother’s buns and his father’s scrotum since we had swapped the top for variety. I told him loudly to get himself back to bed, but was relieved to hear him chuckling to himself as he mounted the stairs. He is now 38 and my best friend, but I’ll bet he doesn’t know how that chuckle relieved his old man’s anxiety 27 years ago.
I never caught them, but I heard them.
A lot!
My youngest brother, who is 31, is still embarrassed at the idea of our parents having sex, which, of course, means he gets teased about it. By Mom.
I never thought much about it except to laugh at my friends that were weirded out by the idea of parental sex.
The wedding is Monday, June 18