I just won my first professional boxing match!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Actually, that was a lie.

What sorts of things haven’t you done lately?

2

I haven’t had sex with Jennifer Garner lately.

I WISH that was a lie. :smiley:

3

Just the other day I didn’t play ping-pong with Chairman Mao.

True story!

4

I didn’t play second base for the Orioles last season.

5

I didn’t become Ambassador to the Bahamas.

6

I didn’t put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong. Lately, or ever. I haven’t put the Ram in 4-wheel drive lately either.

7

So then you lost your first professional boxing match? Sorry to hear that.

8

I didn’t get to second base with Mark Bellhorn last night.

9

I didn’t hit the jackpot in Vegas last night!

10

No clothed thread running for me of late…

11

I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t kill the deputy.

12

I sure as hell didn’t sign up to be Michael Jackson for E!'s reenactment.

13

I haven’t made any jump shots lately.

14

I didn’t visit the Marianas Trench in 1960. Not at all. Not even for 20 minutes.

15

I didn’t sing “Tarantara” in “Pirates of Penzance” for the D’Oyly Carte Opera Company.

I didn’t get Twickster to forgive and forget about that series of unfortunate incidents even though I sent roses.

I didn’t learn to whistle.