Keep your money until the check comes!
You agreed to pick up half of the tab for this little get-together and I can tell 'ya, this is one of the best steak and seafood places in the area - 50 bucks 'aint gonna cover your half for a party of eight!
You’re not fooling anyone. The entire family knows this is your modus operandi and has warned me in advance - “don’t let her give you the cash until you know how much she owes…she’s trying to stiff you.”
I insist that you wait…I wouldn’t want you to pay more than your fair share.
But no, you argue - insisting that it would ‘look funny’ to give me the money when it actually comes time to pay. And forceibly shoving a $50 bill in my pocket doesn’t look ‘funny’? Everyone knows you’re paying half! Everyone knows that this is a gift to Mom and Dad from both you and me! Why would it look funny?!?!
Oh, and the tip thing. You see, many years ago, when it was acceptable to tip 15%, the sales tax in this state was 7.5%. So your little trick of doubling the tax to figure the tip worked quite well. However, I would now be embarassed to tip less than 20% for good service, and the sales tax is now 6%…it doesn’t work anymore!!! So don’t give me the fucking bug eyes when I tip $70 on a $280 dollar tab.
Cheap fucking bitch…
Can you make a point of embarrassing her by taking the bill out of your pocket and saying “Oh, here, this isn’t enough. You still owe me X dollars.” This might also be embarrassing to the parents, but you might need to do it to get the job done.
See how “funny” that looks.
A $70 TIP?! I’d look at you funny too! Or did the waitress give you a blowjob after she brought dessert?
From my calculator:
$280.00 x 0.20 = $56.00.
$280 x 0.25 = $70.00.
For a party of 8, assuming you had good service, I do not think it inappropriate to tip 25%.
Good lord, Ferrous! You’d only give a 25% tip after getting a blowjob from the waitress?! Etiquette requires a 30-35% tip for a blowjob. Sheesh.
<muttering> cheap fucking bastard </muttering>
You’ve found me out, Sua. I am indeed a cheap fucking bastard. 
Every Dinner gathering I have been to where one or two people covered the bill, everybody chipped in on the tip. It was never sugested, it just happend. The waitress recieved a tip from each individual person. Maybe this is just a wierd Hoosier custom, but I’ve never had to cover the entire tip for a Dinner group.
$280 meal / 8 people
$35 meal for each person + good service
.20 * 35 = $7.00 tip from each person
See, this is where all those math courses come in handy. Or having a friend who is good in math. Or if you’re really anal, a good caluculator. Or if your’re really really anal, a slide rule. When I’m the coordinator of a party, I never think it impolite to call someone on giving too little money. This does not stop me, however, from covering the rest of the tab if I see that everyone has given what appears to be a decent amount(this usually works out as the rest of us will get covered on some future date). My advice, call this person on giving too little, but do it nicely. And don’t be afraid to do it in front of everybody. That will give your request that slight hint of embarrassment that breeds acquiescence.
Why? What difference does it make how many people are in the party? If anything, it should be easier to serve a single table of eight than to serve four tables of two.
Within living memory, the standard tip was 10% Now it’s pushing 25%. Why should this be? I discussed this with someone in the “food service industry” (actually a waiter in an expensive restaurant) and the best answer he could come up with was “inflation.”
Photog’s rant is all the more odd when you consider that rational consumers wouldn’t tip at all. What gives?
Rational consumers wouldn’t tip? 
I generally tip 20% or so, and consider myself not only rational, but very generous indeed.
I have seen restaurants charge a 15% surchage for groups of 10 or more. Perhaps a restaurantuer could explain why large groups are more expensive then small.
Aw, jeez! Please please please don’t let this degenerate into yet another long and painful thread on tipping…
No they wouldn’t. There’s little or no link between the quality of the service and the size of the tip. A rational consumer wouldn’t pay more than necessary for a service. Hence, tipping is economically irrational.
This link might not work for everyone. If there are problems, speak up, and I’ll cut and paste the cite.
Green Bean
Umm, well, it’s not long . . . yet.
I am trying to restrain myself as much as I can Green Bean but it’s hard. Damn hard.
along this vain, I will now entertain myself by performing a little self-acupuncture. I wonder where my pins are…
By the way, I read the Tipping Study, and the entire article doesn’t take into account one very important reason why you should tip your waiter/waitress. One extremely important one, in fact. I’m not going to say it though, because I am resisting temptation. Back to my pins…
Personally, I would have very, very visibly retrieved the fifty dollar bill and said rather loudly, “Oh, look, this will almost cover the tip*!”
What a lousy maggot to be such a cheapskate.
Look her in the face and say ‘You are trying to stiff me and I am not fooled. We will see how much half is when the bill comes’.
And BTW, only heinous bastards refuse to tip for good service.
If it’s what I’m thinking of the article alludes to it in the very last sentence. However, with things how they stand now I’d say that tipping is a rational thing to do.
Not paying a tip?!?
Sure, it’s economically smart, but it’s socially rude as fuck.
I go to restaurant. I order meal. I get good service from a friendly waiter/waitress. This happens very often. They do a difficult job, and they do it nicely. I show my gratitude in two ways: I say to them “Thank you for the excellent service” (or something along those lines), and I give them a nice big tip.
Conversely, if I go to restaurant and get not-so-good service, tip not so big. If I get downright crappy service - there was once one waiter who audibly mumbled “fucking assholes” about our party - I give almost no tip. In the case of the “fucking assholes” boy, we gave him a piece of paper that read “Don’t breed”.
I don’t think that it “looks funny” at all to give someone money to cover their part of the check. Your Mom and Dad should know it was a gift from the both of you, and should know that the bill is being split between you.
However, I do think that the “cheap bitch” should not be held responsible for your excessive tipping practice. If she feels comfortable tipping 15%, then her portion should reflect that. A tipping is a service judgement that should be made by ALL paying parties. After all, if it were separate checks, each person would determine their individual tip.
When my brother and I treat for family occasions, at the end of the meal he and I get together. We look at the bill and determine an appropriate tip and what each of us is responsible for.
15% for dinner (but not lunch) at a nice place with decent service is too low; 20% is now the standard. The sister was trying to tip 12% by doubling the tax which is just not acceptable. Not only that, she was trying to pay for less than half of the bill. Way less.
She’s a cheap bitch.