'Zactly.
In a sense: my mother’s ashes are still inside the plastic bag inside the cardboard box inside the nice tote bag. This must be the standard method used by crematoriums, unless you purchase a special urn or some such.
She died within the last couple of years, and we haven’t yet been able to spread her ashes where she asked us to, at a public park in the town where she and my father grew up and frequently went on dates in High School and early married years. She had already spread his ashes there, several decades ago. I don’t know if it’s still legal to do it, but we plan to try, discreetly if needed. But that town is 1200 miles from here. Between covid restrictions and some health problems we’ve not yet been able to arrange a trip to do this, so the tote bag is sitting on the dresser in what was her final bedroom.
As for reusing it – no. It’s a restrained, tasteful bag, with the logo of the state’s cremation organization on one side and the name of the particular company we used on the other, but unless your name is Addams I don’t think most anybody would be willing to use it as a shopping bag or to ferry your lunch to dinner or anything like that.
I have a friend who does white dove (pigeon) releases for a living. He started out doing weddings and funerals, but quickly gave up weddings. I’ve seen his act and he does a great show.
There are no kickbacks in his experience. He has steady work with a number of funeral directors who are happy when he’s able to take their business.
This one has no logo, no identifying info at all. It’s just a tote bag made of black and tan fabric.
My mother was very frugal. She would absolutely want someone to use it. Which is why i tried to give it away. Failing that, I’ll use it from time to time.
Just rando additions here from Canada (ontario) not sure if we have strict protections or oversight or I just got lucky.
Cremation with urn etc all the bells and whistles (but yes in a reinforced cardboard to go in or in my case basic pine) 654$
Funeral which I had 3 relatives look over with me as I was in a bit of a state and would be easily a “mark”… they all were surprised (all americans) it was roughly 300$ more than they paid at about 7200$ for everything (after taxes etc etc etc, everything in type thing). Buuuut they covered everrrrything. Every government form or notification took care of by them. Planning except for key things like music all on their end allowing me to grieve etc.
Cost of scattering ashes will be about 500$ travel expenses and “semi” legal… don’t care… will do and tell anyone bothering me to enjoy tasting her… (she would have loved that…but ironically didn’t care for the Big Lebowski…)
I grew up on the Addams and Munsters and love them because of her… I will reuse the bag , it is nice. (the urn came in it). It has a macabre “sepulcher” look but I like that. IRL I can be a bit “dark” and creepy though physically don’t appear so heh.
(also don’t forget that was in Canadian dollars too… so about 30% of an american one 
hah).
Neat! I know that using live animals may come with its own issues, but I find this option so much nicer than the balloon releases that have become so popular at memorial services in the last few years. Where to people think all of those balloons go??
When my father was cremated, my mom opted for an urn, which was given to us in a large, soft pouch. We were also given the urn’s cardboard box. We had some relatives in another part of the country who were unable to attend the memorial service, and Mom thought it would be a nice idea to carry the urn along on a road trip so these relatives would have a chance to pay their respects. Since the pouch wasn’t strong enough to hold the urn, we ended up packing it in an L.L.Bean tote bag.
The pigeons arrive home before my friend does.
The Body of B. Franklin, Printer; like the Cover of an old Book, Its Contents torn out, And stript of its Lettering and Gilding, Lies here, Food for Worms. But the Work shall not be wholly lost; For it will, as he believ’d, appear once more, In a new & more perfect Edition, Corrected and amended By the Author.
Why did he give up doing weddings? Too many bridezillas?
I have the ashes of two cats in the closet of my second bedroom, in bags in small plastic containers. I guess they’ll be added to my Eternal Reef when my time comes.
As for tote bags, a while back I read a self-published autobiography of a young woman from my area who later succumbed to her cancer. Early in her treatment, her mother took her to the Mayo Clinic, and part of her evaluation included a 24-hour urine collection. They were given these discreet green canvas tote bags, with a supply of leak-proof containers, and during those 24 hours, they went to the mall, to a movie, and out to eat at a nearby restaurant, and they saw lots of other people with those same discreet green canvas tote bags.
That is strangely adorable.
"Now, I’m sure you’ll be wanting to upgrade from the pigeons most funerals use. For a small extra fee, your mother’s mourners can be comforted by the spectacle that is my own special Homing Doves!"
Yep. He “enjoys” funerals, never a complaint. Even the high profile funerals are laid back affairs. Weddings were high stress, nothing fully satisfied everyone.
The Dewey Deathimal System™!
You Sir, should go to your room. Now. That was shameful.
But I did laugh. For real.
Maybe the mortuary has a layaway plan?
With a foolproof collection policy, too -
.
“You noa pay, Gramma noa more layaway”
< Makes note in Mr. L.A’s permanent record. >
My oldest brother died two years ago. He was cremated, and the funeral home is storing his ashes, with the plan being that the urn/box will be placed in Mom’s casket, which will be placed in the shared grave in the national cemetery where Dad is buried. Against the rules (strict two-person, no adult children policy), but we’re radical that way.
Yeah - but each person has some control over whether or not they act irresponsibly when confronted by intense feelings. Sure, your feelings are real. But that doesn’t absolve you of all of your responsibilities. Especially when - as in this case - the death didn’t exactly come out of nowhere.
IMO, some people choose to allow themselves to behave irresponsibly when given the opportunity, and expect to be excused and bailed out by others. Not a wise choice IMO.