I was walking into a restaurant with a friend about two years ago when a homeless man approached us. I tensed up a little bit and prepared to do my usual patting-pockets-and-saying-sorry-and-not-stopping routine (there are lots of panhandlers where I live), and the guy came over and said, “Hey man, can you spare a dollar so I can get a 40 of Icehouse?”
I said, on autopilot, “Sorry, man, I can’t help y…” Then I realized what I’d heard and I stopped. “What did you say?”
He said, “Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. I wanna get drunk. I got 63 cents, and I need a dollar more.”
I found this bizarrely charming. I gave him a dollar.
My neighborhood has many homeless people and beggars. Some times it’s quite interesting. Some times it gets scary.
Majority of the people who live in this area are college students. One night, some time after midnight I heard a knock on my door. I’m friends with my neighbors, so I figured it was one of them. I just opened the door. It was some strange guy telling a story about how his mom was on life support in the hospital and his car broke down. He needed some money for a cab to get there to tell them to pull the plug, or something along those lines. It was a real freaky experience since I’m a rather small girl and I had been living alone for only a few weeks by that point. The next day, when several of us in the building talked we found out that he had visited every single apartment in that building. No one gave him a thing.
Another time I had just pulled into a parking spot. It was 1am and I had been travelling since 8am. All I wanted to do was go to sleep. I open my car door and see a strange woman standing right there. She started talking about how she wasn’t going to rape me or kill me or anything. She was just out of gas and needed some money to get to work. I didn’t believe her, but I wanted to get out of my car and she was standing in my way. I just shoved some coins into her hand so she would go away.
The next day it seemed humorous that a woman was telling me she wouldn’t rape me and she just wanted money. It’s an interesting neighborhood.
I personally would have picked option #2 and then Salem might have a case. Laughing seems to be the best thing to do when being confronted like that. Besides, it´s not even a conscious effort. If something absurd happens, then people start to laugh, without ever being mean.
I think there is more to it than just the laughing. Its also a question of why somebody starts a thread and tells other people about the situation “Hey I laughed in her face, she is so weird”. It seems to me that dorkus did not just laugh about the situation but about her.
And then there are different ways how to laugh. Understandingly; or because its funny; or because you think the person is a freak.
well flonks, did you read the sign over the forum door? the one that said Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share? that’s why it’s posted. and in situations like that, you do laugh. it’s a natural reaction to try and get out of a situation like that.
i’ll ask right now, hands up who WOULD have given her the $100 when she asked?
I would laugh even if my BEST FRIEND came up to me and said “HEY GIVE ME A HUNDRED DOLLARS!” It would catch me so off guard… a hundred dollars is a lot of money and it’s not something you just give away, ever!
I think my most interesting panhandler story was the time I put all my change down on the conveyor belt at the grocery store and it fell in, and I lost it all. Then when a man asked me for some change, I truthfully said “Sorry, I just lost all my change in a conveyor belt,” and he got angry and started saying “A CONVEYOR BELT! Yeah right! Do you think I’m an idiot or something? Jeez!” I just said “Nope, it’s true! You can go in and ask them if they can get it out, and if they can, you can have it.”
I avoided that guy after that.
Another time a guy asked me for some change but I had just spent it all on candy, so I gave him some of the candy. It was fizzy candy, the candy with the stuff in the middle that fizzes when you get to it. Good candy. He actually seemed pretty happy about it.
Flonks, I saw the same homeless woman today. When she started to talk I stabbed her 49 times in her neck. Ha ha. I never laughed so hard. Quick everyone, laugh at the dead homeless woman. :rolleyes: (note the sarcasm for those impared)
I laughed at the absurdity of the situation but perhaps the above should have been true instead. Maybe then you would have something to really gripe about. I shared here because this is where I always share my surreal experiences.
Well, I was going to come in and simply thank dorkus for the clarification. BUT…
There are ways of wording things that are not in the least offensive. Sharing a story, laughing at an event, etc. Most of the stories above are like that. Yes, it was an absurd situation and I can see how it was laughable. My objection was and continues to be, the use of the phrases “laughing at”, “laughing in her face”. That’s cruel and what I object to. But Dorkus clarified that wasn’t what he/she meant. Ok, misunderstanding, misintent, I’m sure we’ll live to talk about it. eats crayons if you actually read what I wrote in my second post, instead of jumping on the three-wheeled bandwagon, you’ll see that it’s precisely because I’ve worked with people with mental illness, developmental delays, physical impairments, etc that I was peeved at the language used. I have a thousand and three hysterical stories about the people I’ve worked with. And spent many times laughing at the events of the day. Laughing at the events, not at the people, not in their faces. Big difference. That was my point.
And mouthbreather, what map exactly did you use to get from point a to point b. The one I have only shows a field of cow manure in between.
Ya know, I am usually a really laid back person with a good sense of humor and don’t like to get into this kind of thing. And I’m honestly not interested in continuing. I don’t mean to come off like the PC police. I made my point, twice now, and I’m glad dorkus clarified what was being said and that it wasn’t intended cruelty.
While able to see all sides of this issue, the question I have for dorkus is simply, when you chose the wording for your subject, did you suspect you might get a reaction like Salem’s?
If this had happened to me, I couldn’t have written it that “cut and dried”, I think I would have had to include the word inadverdently in there. But it wasn’t me, and I don’t know your “Doper Personality”, so it’s a moot point. But had I posted what you did, I would expect to be raked over the coals, and rightly so, simply because it doesn’t sound like something I would write.
Some of y’all agreed with dorkus’ laughter, some of you did not, and that’s the way it is here in “Doperland”. My point is when you put together your subject, make sure you know that it might not be received favorably by some of the community.
Take a look at my Hiv Positive? post over in GD. I really thought it out before I wrote it, but it still was received negatively by some people, and after studying what was said, I can see their point.
Finally, where would you move that there are no homeless? They seem to be everywhere, even here in little Dallas, Georgia. And to end my comments, thanks for giving to the shelters. They need our help and it’s a way of reaching out to those people who are on the streets through no fault (or fault) of their own.
dorkusmalorkusmafia - I think that soliciting others’ opinions on a message board about the situation indicates that you’re probably not a jerk, but someone who had a weird reaction and was wondering about it.
About half the time I give money to beggars (even in amounts as large as $10), but about half the time I just don’t have the time. You’re human, I’m human, the homeless people are human. Why does having a job mean that you’re required to achieve some exaggerated sense of selflessness?
I expected the initial outrage but thought the post was well enough worded inside that the sensationalism would be overlooked. This was actually the case for the most part with a few people who didn’t seem to read the entire original post.
I was thinking about buying land on the moon, bottom of the ocean, or smack in the middle of Antarctica.
So…the fact that the woman, clearly homeless and without the ability to understand that a person shouldn’t ask for $100.00…doesn’t lead you to understand that she is NOT capable of functioning in society in the “normal” or “accepted” way…so you should LAUGH at her? Yeah. THAT’S good. :rolleyes:
Ummm…could I just point out here that your granny was surrounded by people who LOVED her? She was NOT living on the street. So, although I understand where you are coming from here, I respectfully decline to agree that this is the same situation that is presented by the OP.
Once again, Salem, I am totally WITH you.
**
I think she understands all too well, as do I.
Hmmm…well, fine. You laughed because you thought it was funny. Say, would you have thought it was funny if it had turned out that it was your mom who was the homeless woman? Or your sister? Would it have been a funny joke then?
Yes, Salem…by all means let it go. The problems of the homeless in this country do not concern you if you have the means to connect to a computer, therefore it is not your problem. After all, they must have done something to PUT themselves there, on the streets. So it shouldn’t concern you.
You know, I guess I don’t think so. You think differently, that is obvious. And of course your opinion is just as valid as mine. But please think about it, okay? You live in a house, or a condo, or an apartment. They live under a bridge, or in the woods, or…in a shelter. If they are lucky. And in case you aren’t aware of this, shelters are mostly scary places. People KILL each other in shelters…for a few dollars. Now, there are shelters that prevent this kind of thing, but they are few and far between. Most of them are just trying to allow the maximum amount of people to have a bed and enough food to survive. They cannot afford security.
This is a national tragedy, and it has gotten a whole lot worse ever since President Reagen closed so many institutions that housed non-violent mentally ill people several years ago. They were not violent when they were housed and fed and kept on their meds, but now…they are on the streets. They DON’T stay on their meds, they have no real means to support themselves and they ARE the homeless.
I’m done here…I could keep going through that thread and commenting, but what is the point?
I would just like to say…there is a HUGE difference between laughing WITH someone and laughing AT someone. And I don’t think that there is any question that this whole scenario is about laughing AT someone.
If that feels good to you, then fine. If you can sleep nights.
You’re now attaching the negative emotions of having a loved one being in the situation of homelessness. That doesn’t change the fact that a total stranger demanding a hundred dollars of free money is ridiculous. As others have said, it’s the demand that’s funny (Yo gimme hundred dollars), not any reasoning you’ve invented behind it.
I mean, sure, if you consider the fact that she could have been starving to death, she could be mentally ill, she could have been a former child-actor turned crack-addict after being ripped off by a sleazy manager and now she’s down on her luck with nowhere to turn and there’s no ace in the hole in this world gone mad and all other possible situations, then the demand isn’t funny. But if you’re watching a Monty Python sketch, you don’t suddenly sit up and say: “Holy crap, I just realised there are starving children in Africa! It’s therefore completely unethical and immoral to waste our time laughing and feeling good when we could be weeping in terror at the fact that life dealt someone a shitty deck”, because that totally ruins the mood.
She also said
Oh no! Homeless people exist! I forgot I didn’t live in the perfect world of marshmellow pillows and butterfly kisses in my imagination! And if you don’t weep with the inhumanity of it all when you even hear the word “homeless” or “disturbed”, then you’re a terrible human being with no conscience. Fie, fie, fie, shame, shame, shame.
