I’m also addicted to Viagra. The wife is taking it pretty hard.
Good timing, what with erection day just around the corner.
Nuts to that!
Yes, Viagra can make a vas deferens.
I heard Starbucks is trying out a new drink called the Viagraccino. One cup and you’re up all night.
My wife sued for divorce because she said I couldn’t get an erection. I had evidence to the contrary, but it wouldn’t stand up in court.
Too bad you didn’t go to trial, I’m sure you would be dismissed by a poorly hung jury.
One time as he pushed in the rectal thermometer, I felt myself getting a painfully hard and obvious erection. “Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog,” the vet said.
So doctor, are you saying I should touch myself whenever I feel like it?
No, I said you could have a stroke at any time.
Doctor, I want a second opinion!
OK, I think you’re ugly, too.
A doctor told my friend to stop using a Q-tip, but it went in one ear and out the other.
I was very scared when my son swallowed some coins but the doctor looked at the X-ray and couldn’t find any change in him.
Well, that makes cents.
I don’t know why the barista got so angry when I knocked over her container of cash and coins. The sign said “tip jar.”
My neighbours wondered why I never said hello to their kids, or otherwise interacted with them. I pointed out that my medications all say, “Keep away from children.”
I had the opposite problem. I kept opening the car window and yelling “look out, kids!” because the sign said “Caution Children.”
The streets with the signs that say “Slow Children at Play” are the worst. The kids move so flipping slowly.
Women should not have children after 40. Forty children are more than enough.
I used to drink a lot in the 90s but now I don’t care what the weather is.
I’m addicted to drinking brake fluid. But I can stop when I want.