If someone told you “I loathe people like you”, would you take it as a personal insult?
Do you think that there is any difference between “I loathe people like you” and “I loathe you”? Or between “People like you make me sick” and “You make me sick”?
A little bit of context… The following conversation:
Person 1: I’m going to have surgery in 2 days - septoplasty. How much do you think I should give to the surgeon (bribe)?
Person 2: I think you should get some marked money from the police, so that they can arrest the surgeon later.
Person 3 (to Person 2): I loathe people like you.
(Bribery is common here. Kinda the norm, actually.)
Generally speaking, yeah it’s an insult of a pretty high order.
However, in the context you’ve presented, the speaker could have just been expressing themselves (very) badly. Maybe what they meant was they hate people who do things like you do. Which is still a pretty stupid thing to say, but we can extrapolate a meaning from that which doesn’t means he hates you, just that he hates the act of doing what you do.
The difference between jocular banter and true venom can be measured by eye contact, hand gestures and spittle.
Rolling your eyes at someone while saying it and holding one’s tupperware while waiting for the office microwave – that is banter. Probably at least partially serious but not what I would call an “insult”.
Eyes narrowed in focused anger, coupled with a finger jabbed in your direction and oral moisture ending up on the front of your shirt – that’s personal!
It’s kinda tricky, but I’m going to give them a pass. They were talking more about themselves than you. Rather than “you are…” they were saying “I”. Yes, it was intended as a negative comment, but it was stated in a self-reflected way.
Social medicine. Surgeon’s a government employee, probably bought his way into the job, shows up for the minimum amount of time he can get away with, doesn’t really care about his job, and maybe a bribe will encourage him to remember to remove the forceps before closing up.
That’s not a jab on Obamacare or Canada; I’ve been told many, many anecdotes about similar situations here in Mexico for the people that choose social security.
For pretty much the reasons Balthisar stated here:
This is in Romania, and we do have social medicine. People are afraid that if they don’t pay enough, the doctors will not be as careful. Usually people ask around to find out the going rate. It’s not only surgeons, but anesthesiologists, nurses, nurses’ aides, guards, etc. The pay is really, really low (like 300 dollars/month), so bribery is expected.
This was a conversation that I saw on a message board, and I’m just a bystander. I kept thinking that I would take it pretty personally and I wanted to see different opinions…
On the internet, where there’s no tone or body lanaguage to reduce the hostility of the words, I’d say yes, insult. This is not a good medium for irony.
You know Balthisar, you seem like you are probably an all right fellow but your constant putdowns of Mexico are really getting tiresome.
Do you know anyone personally, a doctor, that works for IMSS? Do you have any personal experience with IMSS? Or are your complaints based solely on anecdotes?
I happen to have one brother in law who is a plastic surgeon that does many reconstructive jobs for IMSS and he is as concientcious as they come. He does not get paid much for this work. He relies on his private practice for most of his substantial income.
His son, my nephew, is doing his surgeon residency at Guadalajara’s Hospital Civil. He is also an ethical young man. He gives free general medicine consultations to the needy.
I pay quite a bit of money to IMSS for my employees coverage. They and all of their immediate families are given full coverage. They are thankful they have it.
Poor quality medical care is not the sole domain of public health care. Private doctors are in the news all of the time for poor service.
In most cases I’d assume “I loathe people like you” to be a collective insult. However, the odds are good that I’d also take it as a personal compliment, because I’m proud of the characteristic that that person loathes.
Me: “I’m never late for an appointment and I expect people to be on time.”
Someone else: “I loathe people like you.”