I’d like to make several small suggestions to other people who insist on using the same roads as me. I know this has all been said before but it bears repeating.
Yield signs are not for stopping unless it’s entirely necessary. I personally think they should be done away with altogether. They’re deceptive to otherwise intelligent people in life. They’re outlined in blood red and are shaped as an upside down triangle, which I think to the subconscious mind, indicates eminent catastrophe is looming just ahead. Plus it looks like a giant roadside martini and maybe that’s why people stop. “Look Melba, it’s a giant martini. Let’s stop right here.” See what I mean? I wouldn’t be surprised if people started posing next to the giant martini sign for photos.
Ideally the sign should read, “Get busy living or get busy dying!” like in the Shawshank redemption. But I know that wouldn’t all fit on there. After all, I’m practical. So, maybe if the sign were situated flat side down it would be a good start. The gory red could be replaced with green colors. The new sign would look like a giant arrow pointing toward the giant highway we’re all trying to get on.
The thing is, you’d have a much easier time blending in with traffic by taking your chances at a good forty or fifty MPH than you would from a complete stop. Does that make sense? Trying to merge onto a highway from a complete stop is like being launched off of aircraft carrier. You need to be a pilot for that.
It wouldn’t hurt to use your mirrors in this situation either. That’s what they are, mirrors. They’re not parking lot feelers. This must be the root of the yield problem. People must not be using their mirrors. It’s a shame because pretty soon they’ll be forgetting what mirrors are for and before you know it they’ll be putting turn signal lights in them. They have them already don’t they? How prophetic of me. Are these new things there so you guys can tell when you forgot to deactivate your turn signals? I bet that’s it. How sad.
Why do drivers use the shoulders of the on ramps instead of the on ramp itself? I bet it’s an effort to negotiate the curve better or something. I’m no Newton but I’d think that following the widest part of the curve (the on ramp itself) would give you a better advantage. Maybe drivers ride the shoulder so when they flip their cars over they land on the on ramp so the tow truck can get to it easier.
What’s so hard to figure out about, “Keep right, pass left”? Shouldn’t we all know that by now?
Why is it always social hour in the car in front of me at the toll booth? Don’t even ask directions from those guys. They breathe in exhaust fumes all day. Just throw your money at them and keep on going. They like that. Just like they like giving me all ones back for a 50 cent fare when I hand them a 20.
I guess these aren’t all suggestions it turns out.
I’m not sure I’m getting your rant. Of course yield doesn’t mean stop, but when merging onto a high volume road sometimes you have to. Unfortunately there aren’t treadmills in the road to keep you at speed until traffic clears.
You have directed only mild heapings of displeasure at a whole host of traffic annoyances. I advise you to instead focus on one thing that really squicks you off, and really attack it with true venom and vitriol.
And, because almost everyone else on the planet pays tolls with quarters and other change, or singles, all the person in the toll booth has on them is…guess. You seem kind of uppity; it was just a question. I don’t live in an area that has tollways. Even so, I generally have a few bucks in change somewhere in my car. As someone who lives or works in an area that uses tollways, I was curious as to why you would decide to use a larger bill.
And if you think yield signs are such a cause of frustration, just wait until your area implements ramp meters. There’s a “What the fuck?” for you. Traffic lights. On interstate on ramps. Think about that.
I don’t care what you consider necessary. If I feel it’s safer to stop and take a good view of oncoming traffic, I will. My safety is more important than 3 seconds of your time.
About seconds…if traffic is moving at around 60 miles per hour then it’s travelling at almost 100 feet per second. If you STOP at a yield sign and wait until there are no cars within 300 feet from you, then you only have about 3 seconds before it’s on top of you. How is that safer than just going and adjusting your speed accordingly?
Uppity? I thought you were being sarcastic with a question like that! Why else would I pay with a 20 dollar bill other than I have no change? Isn’t the reason the prick is there in the first place is to give me change? Do I have to stop at a 7-11 to have the proper change? The reason they give you ones is so when they have to count their money at the end of the night they’ll have less ones. Besides, they’re pricks! I have to conciously remember not to extend common courtesy to toll takers until I see they’re capable of being human. I’m sick of saying thank you to some fuck who ignorantly takes my money and refuses to acknowledge common niceties.
Wolfian , I am sober (enough to talk to you). Maybe I’ll take your wonderful treadmill idea to my state representatives. Don’t worry, I’ll give you all of the credit.
High volume road is just what it’s expected to be, high volume. How the fuck do I have a chance in hell of merging with cars going 70 MPH if I’m sitting there at a stop behind people like you? Be bold and just fit your way in there. People will adjust, trust me. Don’t be gun shy. Take the back roads if you’re feeling inferior to all the other cars around you.
I look at you guys when I get a chance and you usually have a cellphone stitched to your fucking heads. OR you’re in deep conversation with the person shitting their pants in the passenger seat.
How would that treadmill thing work though? Would we each get our own or would we share a common treadmill? Will there be tolls? Would I need exact change or can I expect to be paid back for not having exact change with an entire colony of mutant bacteria on the 19 one dollar bills he so cleverly gave me as change?
Hell yes! What have they done for us lately? Sure, there was a nice honeymoon period when we were all “hey, hunting and gathering is a good thing” and they were all “hey, if we hang with these naked apes and guard them they throw us bones”, but that time has long past. Bunch of slackers these days. Fucking dogs.
That is true. They’ve been living off of those cute little tricks for some time now. Heck, my dog is laying in my spot on the bed right now. They’ll be taking over the earth soon. Dogs must be stopped!
Just to make sure I’m clear on this, you think they count out 19 one-dollar bills to you to save themselves the trouble of counting out 19 one-dollar bills later?
Binarydrone, I caught the reference. One of my favorites.
Other than being the one dollar bill fairies, what else would their motives be? I haven’t ruled out that it’s some sort of nefarious punishment for giving them a twenty dollar bill, but now we’re just splitting hairs here don’t you think? Do you mean to tell me that they have no other change other than one dollar bills? They’re crafty little fuckers, those toll takers. Believe what you want to believe.
That would be like me paying in fifty pennies because that’s all I have access to. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Just to make sure I’m clear on this, one of your favorite references in the whole world out of all references that exist is one that was brought up in this thread? How lucky.