Oh, it wasn’t present wrapping ribbon… it was the ribbon from an old IBM typewriter. IBM. How ironic is that? More like a SamBM. The ribbon looked more like stock quotes as it came out… kinda like his butt was a Dow Jones ticker.
Sit tight Sam… sit tight.
Seriously, WTF? 
I got read the riot act by Lynn Bodoni about creating a joke thread in the Pit, and you bastards get loved on by the mods for creating this sickening little SDMB circle-jerk?
I’m sensing a little “creative license” with the rules of the Pit here, people.
Move this shit to MPSIMS, or kill it. There’s no pitting bein’ done in here.
I know this is just a funny, but for the record, one should never pull ribbon out of an animal’s butthole. The length still inside may be tangled around the intestines, and pulling on it could slice and dice those guts something fierce. Remember that old trick where you weave a needle and thread through an unpeeled banana so when you peel it the fruit inside is already cut? Same deal. If this happens to you— by which of course I mean one of your pets, not that you have ribbon dangling from your own ass— then take the animal to the vet.
Unless you’re lieu, who for some reason is completely immune to actual butt-related harm, and who leads a decidedly charmed life regarding events in the anal sphere. In that case, feel free to yank away.
Right now, we’ve got a thread about astrophysics and another one about grammar, punctuation, and E. E. cummings, and that’s just in the section for flaming. God, I love you people!!! You challenge me; you make me laugh; you occaisionally make me want to go and deck someone; and you’ve even dried a few tears. You’ve taught me a great deal, and I suspect I’ve only scratched the surface.
As for ribbons and dog’s butts, I’m leaving that one alone. Unless, of course, you want to hear about Coco, the dog whose name I suspect was one of the most ironic I’ve come across.
CJ
Chastain86,
“If you gotta flame, do it here. This is the place for all complaints and other discussion regarding administration of the SDMB”
this is close enough to a discussion of how the board is run to qualify I think. It doesn’t always have to be complaint or a debate on why poster X was banned.
I think it started out that way, and quickly degenerated into two camps:
I just love that the rules are made for enforcing, unless we’re sucking off the mods. If a thread no longer serves the purpose it was created for, and degenerates into something else, doesn’t it usually get locked?
This is a glad-handing, self-congratulatory bullshit-fest. I’m behind the SDMB, of course. But give me a break. You’d think you were all here for the free handjobs. :rolleyes:
Huh? What? Did I miss a memo? Where does the line start? 
If you’ve really read the entire thread, I mentioned that I didn’t start this thread to kiss ass, rather it was my intention to pit other moronic message boards.
I guess sometimes threads don’t turn out how I planned, but what can I do? Sometimes this is just what’s great about the SDMB.
Where it starts and where it ends are two different sides of the street. I’m not faulting you, but there’s plenty of fault to toss at the mods for not disabling this particular meandering thread.
We’re pitting other moronic message boards? Joy!
There’s this message board I visit. It used to be pretty decent, however, recently there’s been this tread towards a mindset of, “I’m an intellectual, anyone who isn’t can go fuck themselves.”
There’s a forum similar to MPSIMS there and someone complained about how stupid it’d become. The co-owner of the board agreed and mentioned how every couple months he’d felt like pulling the plug. Now when I said similar to MPSIMS, I meant it - even to the quality of the posts. But people who weren’t into the more esoteric music, books, movies, etc. were ridiculed.
I ranted a bit, but I’m not a good writer, so any point I tried to make got lost in the nitpicking.
Now, if the board was touted as a board for Intellectuals Who Love Their Own Intelligence ™, then I could understand - but it’s not.
I like how, here, all kinda of mindsets and posts can co-exist. I love reading posts from those who know who to write. (The rant about killer blimps? Wonderful.)
I even like that you can’t edit. It forces me to proofread and preview and posters can’t edit their own posts out of existence. Though the mods here are great, it’s the posters who made me love this place. I’ve noticed an intelligence mixed with consideration that is rare. Thanks fellow posters!
Do WHAT now? I’ll have to buy a banana just to try this.
Of course, I’ll get confused and shove it up my ass.
So I guess it might work either way.
If I was into that.
Which I’m not…
No.
What gave you that idea?
Threads that get hijacked and then turn ornery are routinely closed in GQ.
Threads that are hijajcked and then start edging toward illegal topics get closed (routinely in GQ, less frequently in GD and IMHO).
Threads that get hijacked and then start repeating the same topics that are currently littering the board get closed periodically. (I would guess I have most frequently seen this in GQ, but it is not common, anywhere.)
My impression is that fully half of the threads in GD and IMHO finish out their natural lives (without being closed) on topics that resulted from hijacks. The figure might actually be higher in The Pit, (and who can even tell when a hijack has occurred in MPSIMS?).
Don’t shove a banana up your ass, it will annoy the donkey.
Thank you, thank you. You’ve been a lovely audience.