"I Loved Her First"--what the world needs now is another "Butterfly Kisses"

Ok, folks, crank up your glurge meters or write this down for the father-daughter dance at the next wedding: Heartland’s “I Loved Her First”!! It’s another paean to the special love between a father and a daughter. But the creepiest part is that unlike the previous All-Time Glurge Champ “Butterfly Kisses”, this one is ambiguous throughout the first verse, in words and delivery, in terms of exactly what the relationship is between the narrator and the girl:

Look at the two of you dancing that way/Lost in the moment and each other’s face
So much in love you’re alone in this place/Like there’s nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago/I was her number one
She told me so
And she still means the world to me
Just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything
Life must go on
And I’m not gonna stand in your way
But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers

I Loved Her First Lyrics - Heartland - Cowboy Lyrics, grammar and punctuation corrected

Now, my father is not really very demonstrative emotionally so I may be more creeped out than the average bear, but EEEEWWW! Anyone else?

And which glurge gets to you and which “works”?

For example, I don’t mind admitting I love “Seasons in the Sun”.

I’m not exactly creeped out - it avoids the incestuous pedophile trap for me - but it’s a bit roll-eyey.

I’m a sucker for “Sunrise, Sunset”, though. Oy.

Well, this part creeps me out most:

Presumably, from the rest of the lyrcis, we can safely infer this song is addressed from the father to the boyfriend/groom now becoming central to his daughter’s life, right?

So to say “don’t forget, she’s my daughter and she’ll always have a place for me in her heart” seems to be pleading your own case too much, but at least makes logical sense.

But that’s not what the song says.

To say “And a place in my heart will always be hers” seems to imply either of two possibilities:

  1. “No matter how much I, the father, come to love you, the boyfriend, I’ll still reserve a place in MY heart for her, you’ll never have me completely”

Too weird, eh?

or

  1. “No matter what she does with you, I won’t stop loving her [lose the place in my heart]”.

That’s almost creepier because of the implication that rejecting his daughter for dating…and, ultimately, having sex with…someone else…has crossed his mind.

Ew indeed.

Sailboat

On the creep-out pedophila meter, Colin Raye’s "I think about you " is near the top for me. I get the premise of the song–every woman is sombody’s daughter, so you should treat them with respect, but the thoughts of eight year olds in that song does kind of worry me.

SGT Schwartz

Oh, that’s another one where the first verse implies something other than father-daughter (I knew that construct sounded familiar!). I see a woman on a billboard, I think about you…oh, OK, he thinks of the attarctive woman in his life…it’s only later that you realize he is worried about his kid’s self-image and chances in the world.

Oh goodness–you all are overthinking it. “a place in my heart will always be hers” just means that he will always have a special place in his heart for his daughter! Period. No sex implied.

I’m not getting a vibe of inappropriateness, but the father in this song sure does sound crabby.

There’s nothing incestuous, but there’s a creepy/needy intrustiveness. And Sailboat is correct that it’s poorly phrased.

Besides being the name of a song, “Butterfly Kisses” is also the name of an infamous lesbian-pedophilia advocacy site.

Dammit. I have to admit, I’d never heard “Butterfly Kisses.” Still haven’t. But I just read the lyrics and now I’m crying. I’m such a friggin’ sap. :mad:

I can never hear (or see) the words “butterfly kisses” any more without being reminded of he following exchange:

Dr. Girlfriend (or Queen Etheria): What are you doing?

The Monarch: Butterfly kisses. I learned it in prison.

Well, the phrasing isn’t all that elegant, I admit. But it moved both me and my husband when we heard it. Of course, we both heard it first on the way to drop our daughter off for her first year at college. So that accounts for a lot. I’d probably be making fun of it with the rest of you if it wasn’t for that.

The verse that most moved my husband was the last one, BTW:

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
Someday you might know what I’m going through
When a miracle smiles up at you
I loved her first

Made him think of when he first saw our daughter – who was three months premature – hooked up to wires and machines and ventilators… Kevin has always called her our miracle, so he nearly drove off the road when he heard that line.

By coincidence, Tim McGraw also has a new father-daughter song out – My Little Girl

For what it’s worth, I’m also very moved by parent-son glurgey songs (especially since our son left 2 years ago), patriotic/ military glurgey songs (our boy is in the Navy, as was my husband for 26 years), and glurgey songs about people who’ve been married a long time.

I’ve always hated the song “Butterfly Kisses” and all the related merchandising. primarily because I believe there is a section in The Joy of Sex on how to give butterfly kisses, and that is always the image that pops into my head. Didn’t any of the people connected to the song ever read that book?