I made a fool of myself in the St. Louis airport.

A few weeks ago I flew from Minneapolis to Little Rock to visit a friend of mine. My layover was in St. Louis. As I exited the plane, entered the gate area and began to get my bearings, I noticed an overstuffed canvas briefcase underneath a chair. There was not a single person sitting within three chairs of the briefcase. There was no one standing even remotely near it.

In a voice loud enough for everyone in the waiting area to hear me I said, “If this bag belongs to anyone, you better come and get it now. If not, I will immediately report it to security!”

A guy walked up to me with a “gee-whiz” smile on his face, grabbed the bag and asked, “Now why would you want to do that?”

“Well sir, you are supposed to have your bags with you at all times. Otherwise, how are we supposed to know whether or not it is a B-O-M-B?” (Yes, I spelled it.)


Incredulously I replied, “Well, if you want your bag to be destroyed in the investigation process, be my guest.”

Exasperated, he picked up his bag and went back to his place at the end of the line so he could check in for his flight.

I was embarrassed to have made such a public display but I could not live with myself if I hadn’t. Did Oklahoma City even make an impact on this jerk?

My neighbor says I broke the cardinal rule: Don’t get involved.

I disagree.

We’come to the big city, shipmate.

You did just fine. The guy should have had the wits to ask someone sitting near him to look after his bag while he stood in line. That would have preventd both the potential theft of it and the entire rest of the situation as well.

Keep up the good work.

You were right to be cautious – if any airport is going to get bombed, the St. Louis airport seems like a likely candidate. I’ve been there 6-8 times, and it’s always horrible. I hate that place.

::Giraffe goes looking for a duffle bag and a couple pounds of plastique::

Ya did the right thing. If you HADN’T done anything and it turned out to be a bomb…well yeah.
As far as embarassing myself in an airport, there was this one time in Boston. I was pretty hammered (“we will now begin our free service of beer and wines” the fools!) and i was stumbeling around customs feeling (and i figured looking) rather confused.

A guard stoped me. “Son” he said “you look a little confused” (i was right. Drunk, but right.)

I assumed this meant he was about to search me (most likely, i assumed, wearing a rubber glove). This wouldn’t worry most people, but i just happened to have these 3 pipes and a plastic shot bottle of rum along (at the age of 18)… i had to think fast, like a drunken fox

“Oh, no sir” i said, trying to sound like a sober man i’d known once “i’m Canadian”

That seemed to make sence to him, and he let me by with nothing further. The embarrassing part came about 5 minutes later while outside trying to light a smoke and in so doing somehow managing to light my hand on fire. Talk about embarassing!