This never happened to me until I moved here to California. But since I moved here, it’s happened many times.
I’ll be sitting there minding my own business, usually in a coffee shop, when a complete stranger will say to me “Excuse me, will you be here for a while?”
“Yes.”
“Could you watch my stuff for just a couple of minutes?”
To me this engenders a serious WTF reaction. I’m a complete stranger to this person. Why are they entrusting me with their laptop, ipod, life’s work, etc?
To the person who just asked me a moment ago, I replied happily “Sure thing, and I also promise not to steal your stuff myself.” She laughed, as was my intention, but I’m not sure she got it.
What is this about? Any of you guys ever entrust your property temporarily to a stranger like this? If so, why? Why do you think this is any better than just leaving your stuff there without comment?
-FrL-
Do I get to keep your stuff if you never come back for it? Pleasesayyes.
I don’t think I would entrust my stuff to a complete stranger in a mall or something, but I might ask another student to watch it for me, the rationale being that they’d probably be willing to help out a fellow student, and I’d be more likely to find them if they nicked it.
That being said, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where I’ve had to leave my stuff somewhere public, I’ve always had a locker to stash things or else I just carry them with me. People who do this regularly must be more trusting than I am, I guess.
Miss Manners just had a letter from a guy who encounters this problem, and doesn’t want his reading to be interrupted with the responsibility of watching someone else’s stuff (who can blame him?) She says to just say “I’m sorry but I can’t.” with no explanation. She also said you could say “I’m sorry, but I’m not trustworthy,” but I think she might have been kidding about that. (And, as you can see from your experience, that kind of thing doesn’t seem to work, anyway!)
I’ve had this happen, although I’m always tempted to rifle their stuff and walk off with treats. I don’t, but it’s tempting.
What gets me is when they don’t make it back within a few minutes as if they expect me to wait for them. I’ve no problem walking away and abandoning their stuff when it’s time for me to leave.
I have had it happen a number of times over the years. Social science experiments have demonstrated that most people will defend a strangers things sometimes to the point of violence against any would-be thieves so it is an effective strategy.
Actually, this makes a lot of sense, provided you believe that the overwhelming majority of people - say, 95%, just to have a number - would absolutely never steal someone else’s stuff. If you believe that, then the odds of any random stranger you approach stealing you stuff is very slim. Your real concern is leaving your stuff totally unattended, while a larger number of people walk by, thus increasing the odds of one of those 5% happening upon your stuff.
Taking a small chance on the trustworthiness of one person is a better option than taking a chance on the trustworthiness of all the people who might walk by your unattended belongings.
Years ago a comedian had a joke that went something like “Excuse me, complete stranger, would you watch my stuff so that no other complete stranger walks off with it?”
He had another one about hiding your valuables in your shoe at the beach. “What kind of criminal mastermind would it take to break through that inpenetrable fortress of security?”
Also, when you ask that of someone, you give them your confidence in their goodness. People tend to want to live up to the good things people think about them.
A few years ago in a casino the woman next to me hit $750 on her slot machine, and asked me to watch the machine while she got her husband, who was “sitting right over there” (pointing to a nearby rank of machines). The winnings were a ticket machine, so anyone could cash it out. Being an honest person, I sat there…and sat there…and finally my husband found me, and I assigned him to sit there while I went hunting for the woman. She had gotten completely lost and was pathetically grateful we hadn’t just taken her money and walked out with it. I hope she learned a lesson about the trustworthiness of strangers, but I doubt it.
I’ll ask someone in an airport seating area to watch my stuff, but only the nonvaluable things. Why tempt fate?
I had a somewhat similar situation this summer. I was hawking my wares at a craft show, and one woman bought a number of pieces (I make pottery.) She asked if she could leave the bag at my booth for a while so she could walk around without worrying about breakage. I had no problem with it, till I was breaking down and packing up at the end of the day. I didn’t know her name and I had no idea how I’d get the pots to her if she didn’t show up. I had visions of posting on the local message board and maybe putting ads in local papers.
Fortunately, she showed up while I was still packing. In the future, I’ll be sure to get a name and phone number.
Bill Cosby once watched a girlfriend of mine while she was little while her absent minded mother wandered off to do something. If you can’t trust the Cos’, well who can you trust?
And if not the letter of the law, you would be breaking TSA security procedures in doing so. So would the person you entrusted to watch your stuff. Of course, there’s much to be said in not buying into the TSA paranoia.
I don’t get this “WTF” reaction at all. What ever happened to generally being nice? It’s something I have no trouble doing, but I can’t necessarily do if I’m not asked because I’m not sure who else is with him. Say a guy leaves his stuff, doesn’t say anything, and a few minutes later his woman comes by and starts going through it. Do I A) step in, thinking she’s a thief to find out she’s his wife or B) Not step in, afraid she would be, and let someone steal someone else’s stuff right in front of me?
I’ve asked this of others, and I’ve had it asked of me, and I’ve never gotten a response other than “sure” or “no problem”. Since it’s something I’d do anyway, it gives me a certain level of permission to act on it AND ensures I have a good idea of what the individual looks like that owns it. Similarly, it allows him to see what I look like, which reduces my incentive to steal it, and allows me to instill some level of trust into him that not everyone is a complete douche bag.
Now, generally, I wouldn’t do this with something that has substantial value (like my wallet, laptop, mp3 player, etc.) but I would do it with thing things that aren’t particularly valuable, but someone might still either have sticky fingers or just be a jerk (eg “oh look, a book” or “hey someone’s thesis research, I’m gonna scribble on it”). OTOH, I HAVE trusted more valuable things (like my laptop) to fellow students when I’ve been studying on campus… but that’s not a “complete stranger” situation.